Do you try to hard to make friends?
I cannot remember ever trying to make friends; it wouldn't occur to me. I would passively accept others' advances. They would hang around me, but I would not feel close to them and did not miss them when they were gone. I was good to the majority of them and suspect they were confused when, through my later behaviours, they discovered how detached I really was.
Last night, it occurred to me that I am not meant to have proper friendships because I am unequipped to be close to other people; after more than 30 years, it's clear I'm not built for them: my mind never adequately joins to other minds and is mostly a unit. Included in this are relationships where reciprocal love is involved.
I have a history of the whole friendship thing backfiring on me.. Like, I don't really know how one normally goes about making friends.. so rather than a friend, I end up with a borderline.. They're great at forming relationships, but they're usually pretty crummy friends, and certainly very, very BAD role models!
Which is why the close friends I've had in my life I could count on my fingers, with a few left over. But they've been awesome friends.
Sometimes I 'allow' someone to consider themselves my friend, rather than be rude to them, when I would be just as happy if they'd go away.
Hmm. It really works differently for different people. I think even most NTs have to actually try to establish a friendship. Depending on what BEING YOURSELF looks like to others, you could easily wind up with absolutely no friends, and that's extremely unhealthy. I don't see anything wrong with withholding some of yourself so you can fit in, but that's my opinion.
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