Unwanted Guests

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Any advice on how to deal with a suite mate (we share a bathroom & walk in area but have separate bedrooms with key # locks so you can't get into each other's room) having guests over at some point (as of now for short periods of time) in a dorm? It's really annoying & sometimes freaky to suddenly hear voices (3 out of 4 times in the past 4 days we've been in the dorms its been guys) of unknown people outside your room! Plus, I have developed this paranoia that when she has guests over, I avoid using the bathroom. (I know its weird) Am I being silly? None of these people have talked to me so far (I'm glad) except one who my suite mate introduced me to. I would guess this is normal or mild for college life & I need to adjust to it.

I'm afraid that does sound very normal for student accomodation. I don't think it's at all silly to be upset about it - I lived on a noisy corridor in my 1st year at university, and it definitely takes some getting used to. Perhaps you could get ear-plugs? Or listen to music on those headphones that also block out noise?

Also, I'm guessing you're at the beginning of term when everyone is getting to know each other, and before people have much work to do. In my experience, that is the noisiest time of year save for after exams, so hopefully it should get better soon.

Whether or not it's silly is pretty irrelevant, it's how you feel. But yes, you will have to adjust to it - your suite-mate is not doing anything wrong by having guests, unless they are being very loud very late at night. You are extremely lucky to be in a dorm where you each have your own bedroom - many dorms have rooms where you share the bedroom, and you have no real privacy at all. Being able to hear someone else's voice outside your room is not really different from hearing people in the hallway or in a common area if you were in a dorm that was set up that way. You just have to get used to it.

I do the same thing about the bathroom

Unless you want your roommate to hate you, don't make a stink about guests as long as it's reasonable. You could ask that your roommate let you know when she brings guests back with her, just by knocking on your door and saying that there are people over.

There are some situations where you would be valid in having a talk with your roommate.
1. If the roommate and/or guests are doing illegal activities in the common areas
2. If the roommate and/or guests are being excessively loud late at night on a regular basis (excluding weekends)
3. If the roommate and/or guests are blatantly disrespectful of your property

You might also consider making an appearance, so your roommate doesn't think that you're an antisocial nutcase. Actually, going to the restroom can be a good opportunity for this. You can go in there, and either on the way in or on the way out, say hi and introduce yourself to the guests. Then continue to where you were going. But just saying hi will go a long way toward good relations.

Use disinfectant wipes on toilet seats if you get too antsy about using your own toilet. It's silly not to even use one. Better yet, clean your bathroom