Friends vs Acquaintances
I was dismayed to find out recently (relatively) that many of the people I consider to be friends think of me only as an acquaintance. I don't know if that means I need to think of them as acquaintances as well instead of friends, and if that changes our relationship. I also had no idea they didn't see me as a friend as well. So... how can you tell if someone considers you to be a friend or an acquaintance without actually asking them?
I don't really know.. for much of my life, I thought that a friend was anybody who considered me a human being.
I remember other kids telling me that my "friends" didn't really like me, they just felt sorry for me. I thought it was the same thing. Everybody else thought I was a thing to be tormented. If someone thought I was human enough to feel sorry for, that meant they were my friend.
I think the line between friend and acquaintance is different for different people, though.
This has always been a tricky question. For a long time, a person's status was determined by the places I most often saw them. For example: people I worked with were colleagues; people at school, acquaintances; and then a few people who I saw outside of those contexts, genuine friends. Family members had their own special status as "family members"
I was comfortable with these categorisations, as they made the whole friendship thing less complicated.
However, in the last few years I have had to rethink these clarifications. In my current job, I feel like I have grown closer to the people I work with, people who, previously, I would have just thought were coworkers. I'm not sure what's changed. I think I've either gotten sick of the old way of categorising people and the isolation that brings, or if I've just simply grown up. There are two or three people I work with now whom I consider good, trustworthy friends; one of them even claims that I am one of her best friends. It's nice to hear, but I'm not sure what I've done to make her feel that way. I hope I don't do anything to make her change her mind.
I think trust is important when separatin friends from acquaintances. Trust on your side, and on theirs. Admittedly, it is hard to know who to trust when you have problems reading the subtleties of non-verbal communication (which might hold important clues as to a person's true feelings or intentions), so those of us with AS always face an element of risk when entering friendships. But in my opinion, the risk is worth it. What is that saying, a "leap of faith"? Sometimes we have to take a "leap of faith" in relationships, I suppose. Hopefully it pays off. Not sure if that makes any sense, but hey!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
looking up former acquaintances on facebook and linkedin |
28 Mar 2025, 5:40 pm |
Hello, i'm new here am i'm looking for new friends |
29 Apr 2025, 7:27 pm |
New Friends! |
29 May 2025, 9:01 pm |
New Friends! |
31 Dec 1969, 7:00 pm |