Feel Trapped Suicide Again.

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I feel very trapped. It is hard to believe that being older is going to be significantly better then when I was younger. The only thing I feel I can do is trying going to acting school to try to be someone who someone can love and trying to earn more money. Though I am earning some money on the side, it is nowhere near good enough. It isn't good enough to appear happy or even confidant, it doesn't work.

I'm sorry you are feeling trapped and down. I wish I could say something to cheer you up. I know how it feels to have low self-confidence, low self-esteem. I have little. Do you have a friend or a pet who can give you a hug It isn't your fault that you are feeling bad, though. Hang in there.

i doubt more money will make you less aspie-like...

to be blunt about it.

dont be all suicidal tho. nothing good comes of it. its pure math.

Explain, please. I have a (thus far, only unofficially diagnosed) NVLD, and I can't do math.

Are you serious? Could you please explain this NVLD?

My aspie nonboyfriend can't do math either, like he can't even add 2 and 2. I find this interesting.

Thanks

Hey Chav, no suicide, ok?

Feeling the way you do is torturous, I know. Many of us here on WP of all places can probably understand.

Confidence can be independent of social status, money, etc. You are you. You have strengths and weaknessess. Everybody does. Even the most suave succussful dude in town has issues.

I can imagine it's hard to see that sometimes, alot of people are very good at hiding their own insecurities.

Everyone though, in my opinion, has a place here on earth. Just got to find it. What makes you happy? Go for it with everything you got, and don't give up.

Thanks very much NarcissusSavage
Status is only a mains to an end. I am not emotional attached to these things nor do a base my self worth on it. I understand about being content without someone in my life; however, it is obtainable because of my biology, some with other aspies too.

Money's not going to make you happy. The best I can figure is finding source of distractions. For me, one month it's mountain biking (until I tire or the seasons change) and then switch to something like hiking. When ski season hits, well, I'm on the slopes until I get bored and do something else.

Will things "get better" later in life? No. Will you be better equiped to cope? Yes.

Training an aspie to be content through distraction is synonymous with trying to training dogs to be content not eating. The most well trained dogs would be more susceptible to stavation and die. The next generation of dogs would be descendent from the dogs who don’t haven’t responded well to training and have eaten, as a result have not starved to death. Those new generation of dogs, because of their ancestors are even more harder to train to be content not eating.

Since being distracted by hobbies, is not a survival trait for aspies as they will not spend enough time looking for a wife. Unless the hobbie brings in the money or status, it is virtually impossible to train into an aspie. The very reason why adult aspie suffer from chronic loneliness in adult hood is based on this exact paradox.

Good response. IMO, you can look at two angles here, survival of the species and survival of the person (includes mental sanity).

Do you plan for the best or for the worst?

Human kind knows how to date/court/breed and raise children. This is the norm and isn't very difficult to achieve. Success can be determined a lot by genetics and environment measured against society (e.g. how good your kids are in the slums they're raised). So this isn't the worst case scenario I'd plan for.

The worst case scenario is that you will not meet someone for a long term relationship and instead stumble through life going from one meaningless relationship to another racking up a pile of ex-wives. You potentially will never meet anyone you'll like.

Now, is it better to plan for the "going to meet a wife" or "going to be alone" scenario?

Again, IMO, if you're going to be alone, be alone happy/content. This eliminates the air of desperation and women (assuming we're talking as guys not being to find a gal) are more comfortable with guys who are: happier, occupied and have a circle of things they can include the lady in.

If you plan on hooking up - and fail, you'll have a big empty house with constant reminders of what you're missing.

I am not sure that is a warst possible scenario, even for a woman. Knowing that someone can love you initially or even show interest is very comforting and take away much emtiness. I had a few one off dates, which doesn’t even compare favourably a meaningless marrage.

One has learned very early on is that alcohol, exacerbates the mood I am in, so it give me clear understanding about my mood. And in regards to meaningless dates, which I often participate in, some woman’s main hobby is drinking and in joining them I have always been happy and safe from depression. If I was to drink without any date, meaningless or otherwise, depression would haunt me like a beast in the shadow ready to pounce at best opportunity.

My last girlfriend, I never thought it had enough meaning to get married. But I do so much miss watching those old reruns of Bruce Lee and Carry On films she liked to watch while mildly drunk., I could never attempt that stunt alone.

Love is ultimately meaningless. You are earning some money, be content with that.

No! not at all. It evolutionary psychology explains it very well.

Depends upon that person and what their definition of love is.

Ultimately: Yes and no.

~2 generations down the road, few care if grandma loved grandpa. Many care how much money grandma and grandpa left them.

>5 generations down the road, how much you loved each other doesn't matter. How much you made matters much more.

Ultimately, does love matter? Only as much as it takes to procreate and propogate the genes. Does money matter? Yes.