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tracylynn
Blue Jay
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Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Gender: Female
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Location: upstate NY

01 Feb 2006, 1:33 pm

Im going to see my BF this weekend, and I've really been struggling with the idea of talking with him about AS (my one mild effort resulted in a prompt change of subject by him, so I dropped it). I have reached the conclusion that the time is NOW, that knowing this and not sharing it with him feels like a lie of omission.

However he's very stressed out this week (tho he hates that word) about a whole variety of things, and it would probably be best not to dump this possibly life-altering info in his lap right now. I feel strongly that we need to discuss it in person, rather via phone, but we won't see each other again for a least a month, possibly more.

Clearly it's something he'll have to process on his own ... my NT-ness makes me very anxious about his reaction and not being there with him while he deals with it.

Any suggestions? You guys are always so insightful.



TheGreyBadger
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01 Feb 2006, 3:57 pm

From what you said, now is not a good time to raise the subject.

Also, you said he always evades the issue when you do raise it. Is there a reason you need to push the matter in that case? I really understand about wanting him to know where you're coming from, especially if he has trouble dealing with what you do and say or how you do and say these things. But if he doesn't have trouble with it, why not let it ride? You may be up against the categories and definitions in his head, which may be quite unlike yours; and he may already have accepted you as you are and wants no more information.

There's a saying online, "TMI" - "Too Much Information." This may be a case of TMI.



larsenjw92286
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01 Feb 2006, 8:16 pm

I hope things work out.


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comeonandseeme
Tufted Titmouse
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02 Feb 2006, 8:22 am

Groovy Druid did an excellent posting under another header where, if I recall correctly, he said that it put him though two years of pain and anguish to find out he had AS. If you can't be certain that it'll help him knowing, best to leave things as they are. Sounds like he's got enough stress at the moment anyhow.