Aspergers?

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My son has flapped his hands since birth in a rhythmic, repetitive, uncontrollable fashion. He also will open and close his fingers close to his eyes while making odd, open mouthed facial expressions. I finally searched on-line for "involuntary movement", and the search results all seemed to point to autism and/or aspergers. However, he is a very friendly, outgoing boy and "normal" in every other way.

I'll be taking him to the doctor soon to discuss diagnosis. My mind is swirling, but I guess my main question right now is - how do I explain to my 5 year old why he's going to the doctor? I've never even mentioned his oddities to the doctor for fear of making him self-conscious. I don't want him to think there's anything "wrong" with him. Any thoughts?

Has the Aspergers diagnosis (which he has not been diagnosed with yet) more helped or hindered your children's social development and integration? No one likes labels, and while it may help explain some behaviors, I'm afraid of seeking a diagnosis because I don't want my child shoved into a category that, like all kids, fits in some areas but not in others. Thoughts?

If he's an Aspie, there 's nothing wrong with him - he's special. He'll likely be a bit smarter than his peer group and retain an outside-the-box fresh and somewhat childlike perspective on things others tend to miss.

The hand flapping and gestures may cause some people to think of him as odd, but they're the superficial types who think everybody should be cast from the same mold. People smarter than that will actually find him interesting to know and be around.

On the downside, he may be very uncomfortable or awkward in social situations, prefer to keep to himself, so completely non-confrontational that bullies find him easy prey, and often even irritable when faced with sudden changes in (expected) plan, or drop-in visitors.

The actual testing process for determining diagnosis is kind of interesting - of course I was tested as an adult, so the methods may be different for kids. In any case, it's nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. it's an atypical brain function - just a different lens for seeing the world - it is not a disease. Neither he nor you should ever think that for a minute.

He's probably too young to appreciate it, but if you watch the sitcom The Big Bang Theory on Monday nights, there are two characters on it who are clearly Aspies - Sheldon has the behaviors of an Aspie child (although he's an adult physicist), and his roommate Leonard has the behaviors of a post-adolescent Aspie. Sheldon is clueless in social situations, but doesn't realize he's clueless and Leonard KNOWS he's socially inept, but can't seem to overcome it. Been there, done that.

Is it really that big of a problem? If you're not noticing any social problems I wouldn't worry about it until you do...

maybe I am clueless but who tells a 5 year old why they are going to the doctor?

I am reminded of my mom, who said "the only way I let my kids chose what's for dinner is if they are buying"

Thanks Willard! I do in fact think the little guy is pretty special! And talk about non-confrontational...how many toddlers do you actually have to teach to say "NO!"??? I also do think he's smarter than most kids. He was counting to 10 before most kids could talk (1 1/2!)!

Momo3,

Your son is going to see a doctor... who knows what he will say.

It's like taking your son to see a doctor and forewarning a five year old that the doctor will "diagnose your sniffles as Rhinitis".

Just tell your son that you're seeing a doctor for a check up.

There's plenty of time to discuss the label when and if it is applied.

I thought I'd written a couple of blog posts on this topic in the past, so I had a quick check. You might find these useful.

The Aspergers "Brand" - Getting the Label

Article: When should I tell my son about his aspergers diagnosis?

The Human side of Aspergers - Part 2: How Aspies feel about the label


It's not just my thoughts that matter, you'll find that if you read the comments that others have made, you'll get a better picture.

I hope this helps.

Momo3, Willard is correct just remember to treat your child just like any other but remember he has quirks endearing at times and may even at some point lead them to lecture you on something and is oblivious to the fact that you may not even be interested the little professor syndrome.
If you try to protect him more than a normal mother would you may hinder any social development they may attain normally. Just encourage them to socialize with other kids where possible.
I have AS but when I grew up it did not exist and the fact that I had to take life kncks as well as triumphs helped. The bullying is a problem though and I was fortunate to have protective older brothers that sorted out those issues for me.