I have not made any new friends in the last five years IRL

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Only one friend visits me on a regular basis, and I sense it's because she can mooch off me. She is more mentally unstable than I am, and often spends her money on things she doesn't need, so she often comes over and begs me to feed her because she very often neglects to purchase her own food. * sigh *

I volunteer for a couple of different organizations (a gay resource center, and an art-house cinema), but connecting with others is difficult for me. I think I may be trying to hard, or being too intimidating, or too eager to talk with others. I honestly do not know how to connect with others IRL. I have no problems making friends online, bur seriously, I do not expect to meet any of them IRL.

I have not had a boyfriend in the last six years. I have nobody I can watch movies with, nor play video games, nor go to concerts, go hiking, work out at the Y, etc. The loneliness is driving me up the walls. Many people online tell me that I would be a very good friend IRL, but they never met me face-to-face, so how could they know?

I have Asperger's, and I also have schizophrenia. The latter is under control with medication (and it made me lose the many firends I used to have before my major meltdown), but I am still very much struggling with the former.

I would like some tips on how to polish my non-existant social skills, and become less inept at everything in life. I will always be damaged goods at best - I need to learn how to work around that.

Thanks in advance to anybody here who is willing to converse with me in this thread.

Welcome to Wrong Planet kaworuchan42

Welcome to WP. There are a lot of threads about making friends and developing social skills.

It sounds like you have already done more than you realize. Just getting out into the real world and doing something you enjoy is a great step toward making friends.

I suggest you not focus on trying to connect with people. Instead, just be yourself, but perhaps without the intimidation you mention. You seem to be starting over in a sense, since you mention having had friends. So you should be able to do what you did once before and make friends again.

Try thinking back to how you made the friends you lost. What did you do then that made you more approachable, less intimidating?

Also, don't be too hard on yourself about making friends. It's actually quite difficult. I'm 40+ and haven't made a new friend since 2002. The few people I know (mostly NTs) also haven't made any friends in the past five years. It's not easy out there. Friendship involves work and risk, and many people in their 20s and 30s are busy with school, marriage, and new family members.

One final thought: do any of the online friends who say you'd make a good friend IRL happen to live nearby? Is there an AS support group in your area? Or a hiking club? You can use sites like meetup.com to find such groups easily, and that can be another way to meeting like-minded people who share your interests.

Hope this helps, kaworuchan42.