Does anyone else find this offensive?

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serenity
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28 Sep 2009, 4:36 pm

Or am I just overreacting? http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/?p=4300 The particular picture that's in the link is mocking a child that's on a harness. The kid is probably about 4 or 5 yrs old, and most likely has special needs... hence why his parents have him on a harness. I use a harness with my severely ASD 5 (almost 6) yo. I can't believe that people would be so cruel as to laugh at something like this. I'm actually afraid of shopping at Wal-Mart now, because I'm afraid that my family's picture will end up on the site.

Maybe, I'm just being too sensitive, I don't know. I sent them an e-mail requesting that they remove the photos of children on harnesses (really NO kids should be on there, because it's horrible to make fun of kids), but they're still there. I'd imagine that they don't care that they've upset anyone, since they have a special section of their site dedicated to hate mail.



Aoi
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28 Sep 2009, 4:43 pm

The law is on your side. If a photo of you is put online without your express prior permission, you have the right to demand it be taken down. If the photo is simply offensive to your sensibilities, you have the right to complain, but may or may not get the photo removed.

I see children in harnesses when I shop and actually prefer it. Such children do not run into my cart, collide with my legs, or create chaos with products on the lower shelves of the aisles in the store. I never thought about the health status of the child until you mentioned it. After all, who doesn't enjoy a piggyback ride?

As for people laughing and being cruel, that's a reality with a long history. I know of no way to remedy that.



kc8ufv
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28 Sep 2009, 4:46 pm

I read a few of the comments. From what I read, I think you agree with the commenters on that site. The pic was tasteless, and it's caption makes no sense.



serenity
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28 Sep 2009, 4:52 pm

I just read their FAQ, and it said if you find a picture of yourself on their site that you can request it to be removed. That makes me feel a little better.

Yeah, I know people are cruel. That's what my husband said when I told him about it. He said that people are going to laugh at our son, and there's no way to stop them. :cry:



zeldapsychology
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28 Sep 2009, 5:16 pm

I never thought of those kids as having special needs just mainly that having on a leash IMO is demeaning (but like I said I never thought of the special needs being an issue) Outside of that reason it's IMO demeaning we are human beings NOT dogs to be put on a leash!! ! (Outside of special needs etc.) you should be able to control your kid WITHOUT having them on a leash. (but after seeing this topic it'll make me think of the special needs being an issue and I'm sorry to judge ahead of time not knowing the issues. :-)



gina-ghettoprincess
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28 Sep 2009, 5:25 pm

Aren't all kids put on "leashes" (we referred to them as reigns when I was young) at some point? :?

I was.


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southwestforests
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28 Sep 2009, 5:33 pm

zeldapsychology wrote:
...you should be able to control your kid WITHOUT having them on a leash. ...

In theory, yeah.
But then we don't live in theory.

Mom had to do that with my little brother.
Especially in the car or he'd be climbing out the window at 70mph.
(remember, this was early 1960 before back seatbelts and air conditioning were common)
(interestingly, he now jumps out of helicopters for a living. so does one of his kids)


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CanadianRose
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28 Sep 2009, 5:45 pm

I prefer to call it a "tether". I used a tether for my son until he was about 3 yrs old or so. He would run on a moments notice otherwise. Using a tether physically kept him close to me and, I imagine, also reminded him that he had to stay close.

My son is four and a half now and is much better about sticking close to me when we are out and about. For other children, maybe that still run and the parents use the tether to keep the child safe. I tend not to judge another parent's reasons for doing things (unless there is very obvious neglect or abuse). I expect the same non-judgmental attitude regarding my parenting.

You will note that I used the term "tether" - I do not use the term "leash" as a leash is used for dogs and other animals. "Tether" is a better word choice as it is not dehumanizing.

Also, I was shopping in a large hardware store once and an employee made a "dog" comment to me while my son was using his tether. I called him on it and advised that I would report him if he ever made a dehumanizing comment to my son or me again. He apologized sincerely (as well he should have).



__biro
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28 Sep 2009, 5:48 pm

I think that using leads like that on children is no different than holding their hands the whole time or making them hold onto the shopping trolly. As long as people arn't tying their kids to things with them and leaving them somewhere I don't understand what the problem is.


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28 Sep 2009, 5:56 pm

If it's for the kid's safety and the mom's peace of mind, I don't see anything wrong with it. When my daughter was 3 yrs old I used a harness on her whenever I went to the mall. She was hyper active and very hard to control. She was a runner, a climber and a hider, and when I called her she wouldn't answer. She wouldn't stay in a stroller or a car seat. She was a regular Houdini. The mall I used to go to had three floors with only a railing around the higher floors that she could easily climb and possibly fall over and plunge to death or serious injury. The slats in the railing were far enough apart for her to wiggle her body through. After a few scares I decided a harness was necessary for her safety if she went to the mall with me. I don't think it was demeaning.

That picture on the Wallmart site doesn't indicate that the child is being mistreated. The caption is stupid and some of the comments are crude.



zeldapsychology
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28 Sep 2009, 6:21 pm

Thanks for giving me a different light on the issue. :-) The 3 floor mall sounds scary (with the child running around/hiding/climbing etc.) so in that sense a tether like item would be sufficient Thanks for helping me look at it differently.



kc8ufv
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28 Sep 2009, 6:43 pm

I was just reading more of the comments on there, and found this gem I think many on this site can appreciate.

Quote:
As a therapist who works with children with Autism, I understand that parenting these children require extra vigilant supervision. Depending on the severity of their symptoms, they can be not only lightening fast but have an innate sense of direction… which is usually toward the door. Unfortunately, they may lack speech that would allow them to ask for help in order to find their parent again, or even speak their name to someone of authority. There is a clinical term for this: elopement. Many parents of children with Autism are forced to lock their children in their bedrooms at night, use some sort of restraints when in public, and even attach GPS devices to their clothing TO PROTECT THEM FROM THEMSELVES. Please, next time you feel the need to criticize someone’s parenting take a moment to realize that there may be a logical explanation for their unorthodox methods.
However, feel free to criticize the parents who allow their children to run UNSUPERVISED throughout the store (even worse, allow them to play in the aisles of restaurants where a server could easily trip, spilling hot food/ drinks all over the rambunctious toddler). Autistic or not, there is no good reason whatsoever for this.



spooky13
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28 Sep 2009, 7:20 pm

I agree, it's better to keep them safe than having them bolt and end up getting hurt, or taken by someone. I didn't use one with my son, thought about it though, but I was lucky enough that he didn't venture far from me.
Why is it that most of the time the little ones usually trip and land on their butts except when you're trying to catch them? :lol:


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2ukenkerl
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28 Sep 2009, 7:32 pm

gina-ghettoprincess wrote:
Aren't all kids put on "leashes" (we referred to them as reigns when I was young) at some point? :?

I was.


I never was! Then again, I was born in the 60s. I think this became FAR more accepted in the late 70s.



28 Sep 2009, 7:34 pm

I don't know what say about this. It looks like even parents were offended by the picture so it wasn't just you. I don't see many kids on leashes and the ones who are are probably special needs or else lot of kids would be on them. But then if it wasn't normal for any child to take off all the time, then there be no child leashes sold in stores. You would have to special order them.



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28 Sep 2009, 7:52 pm

I lost my kid in walmart once, and it was terrible. he was 3 or 4 and hid inside a clothing rack when I bent down to look at something on a low shelf. I was running up and down the aisles yelling his name. it scared the hell out of me.

he was really hard to control since he had little impulse control, so he was giving me heart attacks even at 10 or 11 when I'd get calls from people in the neighborhood that he'd wandered over to their house to hang out. people he'd never met and who I didn't know.

I feel lucky that he survived.