"You need to think about the future" >.>

Post Reply New Topic

Mom often tells me I need to 'set aside time' to think about 'the future'. Like, what am I going to do? Where do I want to be in 5 years, etc? What do I need to do? What sort of plans do I need to make. Etc. But my mind finds 'setting aside TIME to think" a ridiculous concept.

My biggest problem is, however, (probably partially due to AS, the rest to Lyme Disease), I 'space out' whenever I TRY to 'think about the future'. I am so scatterbrained on that point that I cannot focus on what I WANT to do. Invariably my mind gets trapped in semi-fantasy in any case and I can't progress to a realistic solution. Incidentally I have the same problem whether thinking about possible courses (Schooling) to take, or what to do about my current singleness.

"The future" can kiss my ass. There is no point in thinking of it, it just gives those annoying NTs a sense of security, because their brain is designed to think that way. Or is it society that makes them think that way?

Setting goals is an important part of life.

If you dont have any future goals or objectives, then you wont be able to make an effective plan about what needs to be done. Then you'll just wander around accomplishing nothing productive. Perhaps it would help if you had somebody to sit down and talk with you and help you organize your thoughts.

For example:

What do you enjoy doing? Can we find anything career wise that takes advantage of that? What obstacles are in the way of getting that career? How can we address those? etc.

Being productive is very overrated. The need to be so is caused by society making indiviuals feel guilty if they have a different attitude about this. I guess this feeling of guilt is what makes society work...

You wouldn't be able to eat if farmers weren't productive.

You wouldn't be able to live indoors if builders weren't productive.

As a culture, we have more then enough industrial capacity to house and feed people that not everybody needs to be productive, but to say it is unimportant is incorrect, unless you dont like eating.

I said it is overrated, not that it was unnecessary.

Kiddo, my mind is always on "the future". It's pretty much all I do think about; all I've been thinkin' about for years for the most part.

Gotta prepare...

I've never had and still don't have any thoughts about the future. I think this is one of the reasons I went so terrible in school, I was never aiming for anything so I didn't try.

Whenever I try and think of the future I just blank out, I have no idea what will happen or what I want to do, but I know I need a job to be able to support myself.

I've never had or been able to make long-term plans, and if I try, it usually makes me depressed.

Yesterday was the Day of Atonement here - meaning no cars, no stores, no eating, no water drinking or showering, no cleaning teeth, no turning on electrical appliances, nothing at all. It's the day when all Jews in the world have to just sit down and THINK about their lives, make amends for the past and plan their future year. It's been so for thousands of years.

The DVD stores, on the day before, work all night till dawn. The lines are awful and the stores are almost empty of DVDs by dawn.

Why? Because NOBODY can sit and think about their lives on command. That's unnatural. The mind automatically wanders. Or it becomes so bored that, without some good movies, it'd go crazy.

Tell your mom about the DVD stores in Jerusalem.

And that's what I'd wager "Thinking about the Future" truly is anyway.

I wonder how many of those laid off and/or with homes foreclosed on in this recession thought this was 5 years in their future? Hmm?

My mind spaces out when I think about the future too, I'm always thinking about the here and now though............ and the past.............

Noa x

^^ Seconded.

I live in the 'here and now' and hardly ever think about the future. I spend a lot of time studying and thinking. You can reflect on the one thing you enjoy doing and devote a lot of time to it. Lately, I've been thinking about John Muir and how he lived in the wilderness with, basically, nothing: no tent, cabin, sleepingbag, bedroll, trail party. Just completely alone with a sack of bread, some water, a few scientific insturments and something to write with and on, of course. It's incredible when you consider most of us can't survive without air conditioning and heating. He spent days and days completely soaked. He climbed rocks and mountains without any ice picks or ropes. Yet, he was completely thrilled and happy in places he wanted to be.
If every Aspie could find their Yosemite, they could be just as content as John Muir

I never used to think about the future or if I did I'd get that blank brain thing you talk about. Nowadays it's clear to me why I need to think about the future, because I will get old. Life is getting harder and harder for old people, the cult of youth means they are marginalised even though their ranks swell daily.

What I think your mother is saying is that at some point she wont be able to help you as much as she used to meaning you need to start working out ways of helping yourself. You'll be the one helping her soon enough.

We all know this but because of the difficulty with thinking of the future we don't see it as real or immediate. It hit home for me when my mother had pnuemonia recently and was on a ventilator for a week or so. I can't rely on her the way I used to and she'll need to rely on me soon enough.

When trying to make a plan it's important to remember that it starts with the first step and each new step follows the last. Personally I can't see the the second part of a plan until I've started the first part. Start making small achievable goals and once you've achieved them, and you will because they're achievable, the next step should be more obvious.

For example, I need to get my drivers license so the first thing I need to do is save some money to book driving lessons and a test, I'll worry about actually booking them when I have the money. I wont worry about the actual driving til I'm in the car. All that matters just now is saving the money. Not worrying about the things I have no control over just now frees up my brain to think about other things I need to do.
Once I have my drivers lisence I'll be making a lot more plans but at the moment I'm not worrying about them just using the time to get a vague idea of the kind of things I'll need to do in the future and how I can do them.

I think the mind goes blank when we look at the future as it's too big of a picture, if we concentrate on one small part of the picture at a time we'll be fine it just takes us longer to see the whole picture. In other words don't try and think like an NT because we can't but we can think in our own way alright

My next plan is to figure out how to say something without writing a book about it

The biggest difficulty with thinking about the future is that it causes me anxiety and depression. I don't like to think about my getting older.