It'll NEVER Get Better.

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You'll try. You'll fake it. You'll acknowledge it but after all that you know, deep down, that this is NEVER going to get any better. You'll still be you in one month. Ten months. Ten years. Fifty Years. You'll be you, you're problems.

My Autism is NEVER going to go away and that kills me. My problems I'm stuck with for the rest of my life and I don't know why I was the one born with Autism. Why couldn't I just be normal. I WANT to be a "social butterfly." I WANT to understand why people love eachother so much. I WANT to be part of that but I'm not and that kills me. You all know how it is. The sheer anxiety surrounding even the odd "Hi" in the post office. The glances or outright stares in the street and you don't know why. People don't know why you're like you are but they don't like you and that kills me.

We're not nice people. We're mean, horrible people otherwise we'd be able to socialise properly. We're hardwired not to like people, not to like social contact. That funny look to you is just a look, to someone else it's a flirty glance. We will NEVER learn this and that kills me.

We are who we are and that kills me. We can't change and that kills me. I know it'll never get better for me and that kills me.

That is a valid observation and a real concern. I want these same things too! I think most of us do.

But even if you can't get them from others, you'll always have us; your extended family. You'll always have people who don't see you as odd or different or not fitting in.

And we'll never stare at ya!