Advice on domestic problem needed!

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Hi All,

I'm quite new to the forums, but wondered if I might be able to ask for your advice on a big problem I'm having. It's keeping me awake at night and I think I'm starting to run out of ways to handle it.

I recently quit my job for a small Corporate firm and moved out of my share apartment in the city, and moved back home with my folks. The idea is that I recoup from loads of stress and take it easy and pay off some of my god-awful debts, before moving on to the next.

Loads of things have gone right since I moved back home. I've been eating healthily and going to the gym, doing all the right things as far as that is concerned. I'm waiting to hear back from some job applications and I'm not really worried about work, but the thing that is messing me up is my mum.

You probably know what it is like to live with someone that is totally different to you - different at the most fundamental level - in that all of their values and beliefs, their very being, resides perfectly at the other end of the spectrum. Yin and Yang, all of that. A massive clash.

On a day-to-day basis, I try to cope by rising above and detaching from the situation. I try to converse totally normally and not get emotionally involved. I try to keep peaceful and composed, and keep my mind cool. It worked for a few weeks, but then resentment started to wriggle its way through the gaps and all of a sudden I was seething with hatred from every pore.

I don't blame my mum for this and I doubt she even understands my struggle, I know it is just me that is full of hatred and anger. I swallow it and try to forget, but it wakes me up in the night and I keep crying and wanting to kill myself, like there's no way out.

I've ordered some antidepressants off the 'net which will hopefully drug me into oblivion and I can go about an amicable life again. It seems like a lame crutch to resort to though, because the problem isn't going to go away.

I've lived and worked closely with all kinds of impossible people in the past, and it's always been okay. I think this is different and beyond logic because it is family. The more I try to quit the resentment, the more it gets under my skin.

I just wondered if anyone else had experienced anything like this, or could offer any advice, because it is really ripping me apart.

i lived for years with family members who were totally clueless....the ying to my yang....i can't honestly say it was very easy, but it was necessary for financial reasons too. i survived by getting out of the house as much as possible~even if it was just to go for a short walk.fighting back always seemed to make things worse, and i ended up feeling horrible that i sunk to their level. closing my self up in my room was another way i coped. good luck

Thanks - I know what you mean.

I'm definitely making use of the 'lock yourself in your room' technique!

It kind-of works, but not really, as the thoughts are there even when I am in my room or having a walk.

I feel like I want to get the problem by the roots and pull it up.

Just don't know how..

yes i know exactly what it's like, i've been stuck at home pretty much all my life. i am extremely close to my mum emotionally, but yet opposite... each day is a delicate tip-toe around eggshells, and it makes me neurotic, almost as neurotic as her!

unfortunately all i can offer is empathy i've never found any answers. it keeps me up all night too. actully that's been the best strategy - stay awake while they're asleep, and sleep when they're awake

Cheers.. with some more thought I am starting to fear that indeed this one may not have any answers.

I'm trying to think of ways of not being too sensitive. Hardening my shell a bit.

One of the biggies for me (and for a lot of AS?) is that you are just so sensitive to everything. It's a great thing because you're so intuitive and receptive, but in upsetting circumstances you just get easily burned.

Agh.. I guess if the thunderstorms aren't going to end then they aren't gonna end, and you just have to keep going through it.

Yes. Exactly. My grandfather. Try to look at it like they are a lost cause personality wise. They are too old to change, and now they are kind of like 2 year olds. Think of her as being an annoying little child, and you need to be the strong one and bend to her. Vent about your frustration here. We'll see your side of it.