I can't have my obsession anymore and don't know what to do.

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For the last few weeks I've been going in and out of panic attacks over this. I will spontaneously cry and my ticcing has become more extreme.

I'm obsessed with a television program, I have been for nine years now. More accurately, I'm obsessed with one of the main characters. He has always reminded me of myself and I was able to relate to him. I don't really have friends so he has become in my head like a friend to me.

This character is leaving the show and possibly being killed off. Normally this would not be an issue. However since I am completely and utterly obsessed with this particular program and have been for half of my life, I cannot deal. I feel like a family member has died and I cannot reconcile it, especially because I realize it is so utterly ridiculous.

I have been trying to find myself a new obsession. For the first time in my life I have been so stressed out and my symptoms have become so extreme that strangers have started noticing and commenting on it. Whenever I talk to my psychiatrist he tells me this is all about resisting change, but there is an emotional aspect he is ignoring. It's like I am in some sort of perverse mourning.

I would really, really appreciate any advice.

I've felt the same way about Routemaster buses and the demise of them, four years ago, in the beginning of December. It was sheer torture for me. I've gotten over it, eventually. I'm sure that you will be able to resolve your dillema in time, like I was able to resolve mine.

Were there any specific things that helped distract you? And I'm sorry about the buses

Listening to music.

Can't you watch the old episodes? Can you start recording them with your favorite character in it so you can watch it over and over?

I have seasons 1-3 which are the only ones out on DVD. I can't record the new ones because I don't have a TiVo or VCR. But I watch the reruns constantly, it does make me feel better.

However I am scared that if the character actually dies I will just become incredibly depressed when I watch the reruns, and then nothing will make me happy.

I am obsessed with a computer that was commercially released in 1980 and discontinued in 1985. The online community for this computer is called Denial.
www.sleepingelephant.com/denial

Aurore, have you tried searching that guy on YouTube and watch his videos, in sure they got some videos there

It's awesome that you found a community for that.



That was a really good idea. I looked around some. There are clips etc., but I'm having a bit of trouble handling the comments sections, because sometimes people say nasty things about the character (like something about his weight etc.) which makes me irrationally angry and even more sad. But it's nice even just to know the clips are out there.

What is the show?

I kind of don't want to say, people will think it's ridiculous.

Is it a show that has just gotten a spin-off?

I suspected that's what you were thinking. And that's fine, but the reason I asked is because advice would be easier to give if we knew more about the show/character in question.

I wish. Actually the show in itself is a spin-off of sorts.
It seems a lot of shows are ending lately, I wonder how many people are feeling this way.

I just knew there was something okay about you! People who think those things are toys ought to play with one for a little while.
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Since you are aware of this being "utterly ridiculous", as you say, I think it would be quite safe for you to go ahead and do whatever you might do if it were actually real. The emotion connection is there, and it must be "released" in some way. So, go right on ahead and do your mourning and maybe even have a "memorial" of some kind, then let the re-runs be a vehicle for your sentimental reflections. Change is very tough on some of us, and there is no good reason for trying to simply ignore our struggles with it.

I think that would actually maybe be a really good idea. I correspond with another Aspie with the same obsession/mourning over it, so maybe we could do a memorial together.