People liking you but not asking you to hang out with them

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There are some people who practically love me and they don't ask to hang out with me. I don't take it personally; they have their own friends and they probably figure I have my own. Plus they probably think I wouldn't be interested anyways. I'll admit, I never asked anyone too anyways.

What I find that helps is an activity that you enjoy ( a hobbie )
for me I feel so down and depressed when I'm alone, because all I can think of is " why does nobody hangout with me". Doing something that is a solo job that keeps you occupied helps a ton for me, I work on classic cars, I just go out side and work, it keeps my mind of the negative thoughts.

Now I know we come on this fourm to vent ( which we should ), and express the way we feel, but I also think that we can all help each other out. If you don't want to it's fine, but I would like it if who ever posts on this fourm could put down there "dream job". For instance
i would love to be a game designer or film director.

I think I have always done this. Problem is that I never learned what the non-verbal signals for wanting to be included are.

maybe they find being with you difficult or unstimulating? I mean, different people get along better with different people.
I can understand what they mean, I feel that towards a lot of people. There is this girl in my class, I talk to her when there's no one else to talk to. I guess our friendship is a bit of a business thing. We genuinly like each other, but not enough that we feel any connection. she eases the awkwardness at lunch when there's no one around who i click with. as she's a safe person. and she doesnt expect me to talk. i think i am the same to her. she is a good person who is diligent, and kind. and if she needed money or a place to stay, i would help her. but we sort of "use" each other, in a sense.
Maybe they view you like that?

You come to a point in your life when you accept things for the way they are. No matter what you do, people just do not like you. You will forever be alone and have no friends. Only close family may keep in touch with you. No one to talk to besides the voices in your head. You constantly have suicidal thoughts, but too much of a coward to carry it out. You may be an under achiever who could of done more with their lives. You constantly dwell on the past about what could have been. You eventually become a recluse, eccentric, weirdo, bitter and resentful and hate people in general. You numb the painful feelings with drugs and alcohol to make it all go away.

Being sociable with people does not come easy to introverts. Too hard thinking about the right thing to say. Easier just to not say anything at all and just keep to yourself and be in your own world.

I don't think this is true.

I think how you react to a situation is your own choice. You are obviously upset by having limited social interactions. Perhaps you need to look at enhancing your social skills? I - on the other hand - also have limited social interactions and am quite happy with this. I actively avoid other people (read NT's) where ever possible. I am happy being an introvert and have based my life around this. This does have some disadvantages, I suppose but nothing is perfect.

Take what you have and go with it.

I have like 6 friends, maybe 3 of those will invite to do things with them and often they don't because they know I will turn them down, which is mostly my fault although I have gotten better about trying to be a better friend.

There are people I meet in classes or at work who it seems like they sense that I am different somehow so they get the attitude towards me like they are taking care of me or doing me a favor by talking to me or something..which might be partly my fault because I know I do have a tendancy to act very young and shy but I can't help it, that's just how I am. I hate being treated like a charity case though, and none of these people ever invite me to do anything with them, but I don't really care.

I to have found the repeated words of being friends but when it comes to inviting people out I'm not. I feel split about it as I'm not one much for going out but it feels good to be Wanted there.

it dependson what you cal a 'real friend'. if all the people that i talk to are real friends, then i have about 200 friends. in reality, i think i have only 2-3 real friends. its hard to tell.

i made frfeinds with this one non-aspie ghirl last year. after i explained to her about my problem, she ws perfectly tolerant. she even invted me to join her youthgroup, where i will meet more people.

the thing is, does she really like me? she never invited me over. one time i arranged a meeting at the mall with several almost-friends, including her. but none of them ever asked me back. it was really awkward trying to decide who to inviite to my birthday parrty, since i had a couple of these maybe-freinds whoi wasnt sure i should invite. my mom doesnt know any of them.

its just like, a differnt life, school and home. my family has no idea who my friends are, since none of them ever hang out with me outside of school. who is realand who is not!! !????

I just kinda hang out with people without them first asking or inviting me to go to places. I don't know if they get annoyed and think that I might be stalking them but it seems to be working.

The same here. People say I am smart and have interesting ideas and opinions, but they seldom invite me to a drink or coffee. And when I invite them they usually say they have too much work etc. I have been thinking about that many times and I have just been told on another thread that the reason I never make friends with people is that we have nothing in common. And that makes sense to me. They really think I am intelligent and interesting, but we share no common traits or interests to begin a friendship. I guess it might be the same with you.

It is the same to me, and this rings true for me and hits a nerve as I when I have asked people about why im never invited places, the responses I've got are that I apparantly wouldn't want to go out anyway according to them or because im only an occasional friend, which saddens me as they are out every weekend when I long for that, friends to make memories with, and it saddens me that when the weekend comes I am alone at the weekend waiting for Monday to come, people say make the effort but I do, like the guy who posted this topic, I am the one always inviting people out but usually they have plans with friends already and it does make me wonder whats wrong with me as when doing my volunteer work I get on with everyone so well!

I would say look for aspergers youth groups/pen pals or just be content with being an "occasional friend"

I have experienced this massively recently at work. I have been working where I am now for about 5 months and I have only had lunch with someone once (that hasn't been a work function) and have only been out for drinks with my boss twice. I have been nice to people, made myself approachable, been open with people etc (not too open though lol), but yet it has all come to nothing so far and I find it exhausting to continue being the way I am with them. No-one has been a butthead to me as such, but around others, I have simply been blanked or ignored and made to feel like I am lower than them in the social hierarchy or completely unwelcome in their conversations. It's almost as though people have already formed their little cliques and I am an imposter on that. However, if it's just me and that other person, they are nice and will speak to me. It confuses me, mixed messages and all. I have met this person recently though who doesn't treat me this way and is very nice to me around others or not, it's just such a shame I had to wait until now before I met him as I may not be working where I am for much longer (we are currently going through a redundancy period).

I was thinking about this the other day and thinking about my best friend in high school.

Even though he was MY best friend, I was not necessarly HIS best friend. Even though he spent time with me, he had others that he spent time with and did things with, sometimes moreso. Sometimes he was inclusive toward me with these other friends, most of the time not. Human relationships are a shade of gray depending upon dynamics and perspective. Sometimes the dynamic between two or more people does or does not allow our interaction, whereas a dynamic where we are included with that person may not allow others to interact. People (even those that are Neurotypical) can only handle interaction with so many people themselves.

This is an area of life that really confuses me because I know that people like me. They think that I am a nice lassie, but I feel like I am not approachable. I have real difficulty taking an interest in other people. I don't know what is appropriate to ask them about themselves or their family and I don't don't know what is appropriate. So I keep quiet and I let people talk to me and make initiation to speak. When I make an effort I feel like the way I say things comes out slightly wrong, or it sounds false. Like if I asked how someone's child was. It seems alien to me to ask a question like that. Often I think that I don't ask because I really don't know how to respond appropriately to what they say in answer to my question. Talking to people is a real effort for me a bit like climbing a mountain. So I feel like I only ever get so far with people. And I know that this has alot to do with my personal communication problems.

I have a small group of friends consisting of me and two couples, but I feel like a 5th wheel alot of the time. They will go out to dinner together, but I am not invited. They don't do it alot, but I do feel left out. I often wonder whether if I had a partner too whether it would open up more social opportunities. I suppose it would depend on his nature and who his friends were.

I was trying to explain this difficulty I have connecting with people to a friend at work. I said that I hate parties because I find it hard to talk to people and no one talks to me. He said he couldn't understand because he finds me interesting to talk to.