Hello... I think I'm in the right place...

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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 3:46 am

Soooo, yeah.

Hello, I'm Max, and I was always a little baffled by people.

Sometime recently I was reading a book which mentioned a character describing someone with Asperger's, and I was amazed... they sounded normal!


Thinking back, I remember being so frustrated with falling down, my body not working as I wanted it to, that I taught myself JKD, began working out, learned to juggle, throw knives, walk on my hands... can't have clumsiness, I thought.


I remember being unable to figure out what was wrong with everyone else, I knew I wasn't a little kid, because they weren't whatever I was. Like being in a different country, but worse.

Never had the most concern for my personal appearance, as long as my body is function, I can keep riding around in it... why care what it looks or smells like... I learned to fake it enough to interact socially.

Interacting socially though, I remember my sisters telling me years later how all their friends thought I was hot... I just thought they were being friendly... who knew? I learned eventually that I don't care how people interact with me, I can just deal with them on my terms, and make them like me if I try. :D Gotta be careful though, can be too flirty at times.

Finally met a girl who clicked with me, been together 7 years happily, learned a lot about social interaction... and other such things... :wink:, she still has to remind me to take a bath sometimes, though. Least she can encourage me with treats. :D

I apparently speak in a monotone, and have a stutter. Unless I'm talking about physics, which well... that is one of the main things that made me suspect I was an Aspy.


Ever had the feeling that the Universe was a highly unlikely event? That it didn't make sense for there to be something, instead of nothing? Much simpler the other way.

Well, that led me to try to understand what the Universe was at a young age, devoured encyclopedias... and then I discovered physics. While chemistry, biology, they all had sound models in place. Physics had two, and they didn't get along with each other.

So at age 6 I realized if I wanted to understand why there is a Universe here, I had to fix physics.

I've made a lot of progress in the last 23 years, but yeah... that isn't really something most little kids do, huh?


I've got some of the issues with expressing my emotions, had a history of self injury when frustrated, beating my forehead on the floor, punching my thighs... girlfriend has helped me get that reined in.



I've got another quirk I don't see listed among Aspy traits though, I am utterly incapable of belief. I can't do it, I tried when I was studying religions, did the best I could to believe they were true, but my brain yelled at me the whole time. I finally stopped, but yeah... anyone else reported that? If I can't prove something with observation, or math, I don't trust it. If I can't show it is false, I can treat it as conditionally true, but that is all.


Am I right in thinking I'm an Aspy?

p.s. Excessive wordiness! Another one >.<



peterd
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24 Nov 2009, 4:07 am

That last one's the "excessively literal" trait. It can work for belief or for disbelief - don't be fooled though, the disorder's the same.



justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 4:13 am

Ah, it's weird though, I can handle the nonliteral meanings, and I LOVE metaphors when trying to explain physics to a layman.

I simply can't stop examining things to determine their truth, religion fascinated me for the appearance of offering answers regarding why the universe is here.

Studying it just left me disappointed, I couldn't honestly believe it, so I began considering it logically... and it doesn't hold together well.

Godel is baffling to me, how he could have come up with his completeness/incompleteness theorems while being outspokenly theistic... guess he just didn't apply it to the concept of an infinite, all knowing, all power, omniwhatever being to see the contradictions that arise?



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24 Nov 2009, 5:45 am

Hi & welcome! It hasn't occurred that you're implicitly trusting logic, without any particular reason? Just asking, if you want to think about things like that! 8)


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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 5:51 am

Ty, I feel quite at home already, just reading the threads.

I don't trust logic.

I simply can't invalidate it, that's why I call it logic!

I don't even trust that the Universe should be here, though the mathematical universe hypothesis implies that all self consistent structures must exist, and this seems to be self consistent.

So that comforts me somewhat, it isn't proven quite yet, but it is too right to be wrong, I guess.



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24 Nov 2009, 6:34 am

You can't invalidate it, no. Nor any other reasoning system - so what? The universe is here, whether that's logically consistent or not. There can hardly be any guarantee that reality is logically consistent, can there? Keep thinking! 8)


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superboyian
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24 Nov 2009, 6:55 am

Hey Max, you are definitely at the right place at WrongPlanet :D

I'm glad tosee that you're living a happy life with your girlfriend who you have been with for 7 years and I also learnt how to fake being a NT and nobody notices thats the funny thing :lol: but yet at the sametime, its rather frustrating hiding it, but been more open about it lately.

Can I ask, is your girlfriend a Netrotypical (NT), other words, normal?


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24 Nov 2009, 7:05 am

Welcome to WP!


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lau
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24 Nov 2009, 7:30 am

justMax wrote:
...

I've got another quirk I don't see listed among Aspy traits though, I am utterly incapable of belief. I can't do it, I tried when I was studying religions, did the best I could to believe they were true, but my brain yelled at me the whole time. I finally stopped, but yeah... anyone else reported that? If I can't prove something with observation, or math, I don't trust it. If I can't show it is false, I can treat it as conditionally true, but that is all.
...

I believe I'll go along with that one.



(Sorry... couldn't help it. :))


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lucasfilm_guybrush
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24 Nov 2009, 10:27 am

Wait.. Stop.. Hold the press for a moment.

This not having baths thing... is this a Aspergers thing?? I thought that was just me being me... Also.. does anyone else have problems sleeping?? Don't get me wrong, I can sleep as an olympic sport.. But a little like putting off baths or showers, I also put of going to bed, like its a waste of time, is this usual?.

Also.. I found it interesting what you said about proving things... I can test the living daylights out of something but within 1 second of completing the test without any logical doubt, I distrust my findings.



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24 Nov 2009, 10:39 am

justMax wrote:
Never had the most concern for my personal appearance, as long as my body is function, I can keep riding around in it... why care what it looks or smells like... she still

has to remind me to take a bath sometimes, though.

Am I right in thinking I'm an Aspy?



I'm really beginning to become offended at this ridiculous notion that having AS or HFA means having no regard for personal hygiene.

If a person chooses to stink and stew in their own filth, that has nothing to do with having autism.



JetLag
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24 Nov 2009, 11:16 am

Greetings, Max, and welcome to the Wrong Planet forums.


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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 12:07 pm

Willard wrote:
justMax wrote:
Never had the most concern for my personal appearance, as long as my body is function, I can keep riding around in it... why care what it looks or smells like... she still

has to remind me to take a bath sometimes, though.

Am I right in thinking I'm an Aspy?



I'm really beginning to become offended at this ridiculous notion that having AS or HFA means having no regard for personal hygiene.

If a person chooses to stink and stew in their own filth, that has nothing to do with having autism.


If I notice I stink, I bathe.

The problem is a naturally light body odor (native american, 3/8ths, it's a common thing) makes it hard for me to tell, and that isn't specifically a universal Aspy thing.

It is just an extension of the same thing that makes us not notice we gashed our arm on a loose nail, or that we didn't stop picking our fingernail, and it's bleeding.

If I don't feel dirty, or notice an odor, it just doesn't click in my head that I'm dirty. Technically that's a social thing, and it isn't like I'm stewing in filth, or averse to it.

I wash my hands all the time, having ANYTHING on my hands drives me up a wall, but the rest of my body is only an issue if it's sticking to other limbs, so I have to remind myself about that through a learned social meme.


Sleeping is annoying, ever heard the song Fireflies by uh, Owlforest?

"It's hard for me to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep, cause everything is never as it seems."


I distrust everything, but I've learned to live in a state of doubt happily, it is why I love science so much, and why it baffles me when people don't get that science is not about proving things true. It is about finding things you can not prove are false, and considering them USEFULLY true.


My girlfriend isn't really an NT, she's Dyslexic, which I quickly realized upon studying her was simply a learning difference, not a disability as you often hear it described.

She's not dumb, she just lacks as much of a right left specification when it comes to certain things, but she was made to feel dumb because she had to either muddle through with the other kids without proper understanding, or go to special ed and feel like she was several grades behind.

She's more typical than I am though, and when I started reading off traits of Asperger's to her she confirmed I'm not imagining this. These are definitely things she, and most people don't do/feel/have the same way, but definitely things she recognizes in me.


Re: Bruce, I can not logically disprove myself.

I tried, doesn't work, apparently some guy named Descartes did the same thing. That was a bit comforting to discover.

I am a part of the Universe, so I can not logically disprove it without disproving myself, I can only disprove that my observations correlate to reality, if there is such a thing as reality.

From experiment I've been unable to show that reality does not hold together in some consistent manner, and it is more useful a proposition to consider it as if it does, than the alternatives.


If it answers more questions than it raises, it is desirable, it satisfies me deeply to hold such an idea in mind. I can try to disprove them, but the alternatives are hardly as satisfactory.



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24 Nov 2009, 12:31 pm

Hi Max,

Nice to hear you're also interested in science, and also a nonbeliever ;)

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and enjoy your stay!


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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 12:58 pm

Beyond interested, lol.

Since figuring it out I've been able to explain why I do what I do to a lot of NT people at times.


The whole 'omg you get that? well what about this?' gushing... yeah, poor things just don't know what happened there.

Quiet to OMG SHUT UP MAX, WTFDOOD!