Ten Things I Don't Get About NTs, Please Explain

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The name of this thread should have been "Ten Things I Don't Get About Some Americans"

You just don't get it
Normal people are all very different.

Last edited by BMH on 30 Nov 2009, 12:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, if you told them you're from SD, it is annoying. Maybe your voice or other hints reflect a Minnesota influence?



Matter of geography and common knowledge. I was born in Miramar, FL. It was one of 33 municipalities in Broward County...all jammed up against each other. Fort Lauderdale is the most notable city people outside the area would know about. I'm amazed how many ret*d people think of "Brevard County" (west coast of FL) when I say "Broward County." So, if I tell people Ft. Lauderdale, it saves me the geography lesson.



People are too lazy to do math in their heads. Increments of 5 minutes is easier to work with.

Wanna piss them off? Give it to them with seconds included.



Women (for some reason I can't fathom) seem to like being treated like dirt. The more effective way to attract a woman is to make her feel that you really don't find her worthy of your attention. This makes you a challenge, and I suppose NT women are drawn to a challenge. Same reason they will pursue a worthless jerk over a nice guy...the challenge of "saving" him.



True, but the rationale is this....Too many get into relationships thinking the other person will magically make them "happy." This almost never happens. If you can't learn to be happy when you are alone, then you are seeking something from a relationship that likely isn't there. Also, lots of dysfunctional relationships are entered into out of desperation from the belief that it's the best they are ever going to get.



This is why the legal system doesn't work. Bullys exploit the system. They do what they do knowing its wrong, but never leave enough proof that you can make a sound case against them in a system of due process. If we all carried guns and dealt with a bully by a session in a dark alley with a baseball bat, we'd not have a problem, but the "law" will not tolerate "vigilante justice." I went to law school, and I'm an advocate for vigilante justice.



When 60% of the general population is into it, even molesting gerbils is acceptable. "Odd" means being in the minority.



Shame on you (sic)...didn't you know you're supposed to be psychic? They presume you are NT...therefore, no explanation should be necessary.



Nobody wants to wear wet shoes for the rest of the day. Wet socks means wet shoes later, and shoes take longer to dry out than other garments. That, and some shoes get damaged by being kept wet.



There's that 60% of the general population thing. Well, not really. If the "really popular crowd" likes it (less than 10%), that seems to be enough.

***

No gerbils were harmed in the answering of this thread.

Not for everyone. I believe a lot of young people listen to certain types of music because they are impressionable of the media and their friends of what is "hot" or "in". I mean, why else do we have idiots listening to pop "artists" with no talent like Jonas Brothers or Lil Wayne?

Even better than giving the time in seconds.

"Well it depends on which frame of reference you are using to define a slice of simultaneity."

I don't listen to rap much so I have no gauge for judging Lil Wayne. But you do seem to have fallen into the trap of thinking that if lots of people like it, it must be terrible. The Jonas Brothers actually are talented. The fact that screaming little girls like them does not therefore mean that they are untalented. But it does mean that a lot of people will think "nobody with talent could ever appeal to a fan base of screaming little girls- therefore they are untalented". That's judging the audience, not the musicians. It's exactly what the OP's brother did when he criticized the OP for listening to "women's music" even though he is a man. If you judge music by who listens to it, you fall into the trap of cool/uncool and can't be objective.

This is something I figured out a few years back that has helped me feel better in social situations and not be looked at as wierd, instead I am just quarky. It seems that if you are different in the NT world being proud of it and admiting it loudly and confidently makes you accepted not rejected. My eyes wonder A LOT when people are talking to me, I get side tracked by birds flying by or wind blowing the leaves in trees, I used to get made fun of for this all the time when I was younger now I just tell people I am smart enough to multi task, admit that people dont hold my interest long, and they are welcome to make an atempt to not bore the crap out of me, they usually laugh tell me they act the same way at times and that they admire my honesty. If I could have only figured out as a kid that it was cool to be uncool and wierd as long as you admit it and act like they are the one with the problem not you.

By the way its sort of your families job to give you a hard time about things, my brothers have been a pain in my side my whole life.

Thats really funny

I really smiled at your questions. I empathised with some of them. However, I have answers for you.




Either they have some preconception of what a person from Minnesota sounds like - and they think you do - or they are unsure if the town you live in is within the SD border, or just over it. Intellectual laziness if you ask me.

Also, such a question is called a leading question. It is designed to get you to talk about yourself. They are showing interest in the facts of your life. They are being friendly.



My brother and I argue about something like this too. He insists I am from a certain town. Yet I spent only a fraction of my life time there. I was not even born there. It is where our dad is from.

I dont like the town, so when people from that town say "This is Fuzzy, hes from ......" I deny it.

Does that sound like your problem? NTs - and I suppose some aspies - consider their birth or childhood town as being 'where they are from'. Is that the case for these people?



They are not interested in details. Annoying, right? But its the same as someone saying "what is a pencil made from?" and you explaining that its primarily carbon atoms. That fact and level of detail is not pertinent to the situation.

Frankly I prefer the exact time myself. Thats why I am punctual.



This is an example where aspies dont read between the lines. Which is a dumb saying too. It should be "aspies dont read between the words".

There is an implied word left out of that phrase. It should be "If you act like you need a girlfriend, thats a turn off to women. Meaning if you seem desperate.

Desperation in this case is a warning signal to women because it is an indicator that you perceive yourself to be flawed. You know how they speak of 'tells' in poker? Well, the mating game has tells too. In fact tells are a huge element of every aspect of daily life.

Like when people say "I dont care what people think". Well, that means they really do. Most NTs will they act as though they believe the statement, and then later conveniently forget either the statement, or the fact that the teller actually does care.

Its strange, I know.



No, it actually makes great sense.

And in this case, the NT statement is true and literal. A better way to phrase it would be "If you cant be happy alone, you will never be happy with someone else". What it means is that happiness is purely internal. Which most people blindly ignore.

Love and friendships are a trade off. They will merely accent your internal state.



Because it is too hard to define and catch bullying. Murder and injury, and the events surrounding it are much easier to document. And I come to the conclusion that a certain aspect of bullying is socially acceptable. It is an outgrowth of social sorting.

The best way to win against bullying is to ride it out and to not adopt it yourself.

When I was a nightclub bouncer, it was my job to intimidate bullies. I had to take care lest I become a bully myself, which a lot of bouncers did.

Bullies seek to suppress behavior in others that they despise in themselves.

You know that phrase "do as I say, not as I do?" A lot of bullies were bullied for the things they pick on you for. They fear other people seeing those traits within them, and they resent you enjoying the things they were not permitted to enjoy.

One way out of being bullied is to emulate your bully. I am not recommending this, because someone else must become the prey, and you dont want other people to suffer as you did.



Cleave to the norm(No dont). Normal people see our enjoyments as some ratified entertainment that they are forever denied. They dont see how we can enjoy it, but they still resent that they are missing out.

Also, they seek group participation of their hobbies because it validates their enjoyment. In their eyes, its more fun because more people think(and say) so. Silly, isnt it?



Ah, this. (See what I did there?)

It (and it) is elitism masking ignorance. It is the opposite of question 7. They are pretending you are not privy to some common knowledge. But the palimpsest is a lie.

Have you ever seen that internet meme "the game?". You read "oh no, I lost the game!", usually on youtube comments. 'it' is a lot like that. Read here for 'the game' http://ilostthegame.org/ . Stupid, isnt it? It is pretending something into existence.



Because the socks let mud and sand in, but it cant get back out. In the case of sand, you get abrasions on your feet, especially between your toes. You have to leave the rest of your clothes on so you are 'decent'; socially acceptably dressed.



See my answers to questions 7 and 8. Dont listen to your brother. Enjoy what you enjoy. Question number 5 addresses this as well. You wont ever be happy by emulating the tastes of others.



Ironic cool. And in their case, outright lying. I am sure they get criticism all the time.

They decide that they are cool and they ignore anyone that says otherwise. You should do this too. Think of the etymology of the word cool. It suggests a pleasantness in the absence of heat. Cool under fire, right?

So too is it a certain sort of grace in the face of criticism. Enjoy what you like, and ignore the protests and unkind words of others.

If you need any clarity, I will enjoy your further questions. Please ask them.

Hi TimsMom. Glad to see you are still around here after the necessity which caused you to sign up. I hope you are finding our community interesting?

I am Canadian. I think that people over there fail to understand the immensity of north American countries.

I once worked with a lady from Winkler, Manitoba, Canada. As a teen she had taken a trip to Germany after the fall of the Berlin wall and made friends with a another young lady there.

This young lady said to Connie(my coworker) that perhaps she would visit Connie in Canada, and she explained that she had an aunt in Toronto.

She said to Connie that her aunt could drive her to Winkler, Somehow failing to understand that it was about 2-3 days driving total.

On the other hand, I am sure that when you moved to England you became aware that 3 hours driving in Europe will cross 1-3 countries. Its a little mindboggling to me. I am 5 hours from my provincial Capital, and about 4 days from the national capital.

"Have you ever seen that internet meme "the game?". You read "oh no, I lost the game!", usually on youtube comments. 'it' is a lot like that. Read here for 'the game' http://ilostthegame.org/ . Stupid, isnt it? It is pretending something into existence. "


ARGH!

You got me!

I like to ho check friends in an MMO I play, it's obnoxious but amuses me to no end.

'Hey.'
"?"
'Jas' ho checkin'.'
"BLAST!"


Incidentally, the pretending something into existence is basically my thoughts on religion. >.>

Funny, when I say it, I really mean it because I am not going to sit here and fret what if someone thinks this or that and I am not going to care if somone thinks I'm rude and waste my time trying to convince them I'm not, sameas if someone thinks I'm ret*d. If someone doesn't like me, who cares.

To be fair, I just tell most people I'm from Manchester as I don't generally want people knowing where I really live as it is the epitome of what a scumhole really is. However, if I don't like someone, because of the dangerous reputation that where I live has, I will say, 'I'm from Moss Side, me'. It usually makes people turn away in the other direction and not bother me again. But then my work colleagues and friends know where I live and yes, it would annoy me if they said I live in Didsbury instead of Moss Side, not only because their information is wrong but because Didsbury is a much nicer (and more expensive) area, grrr!! !



This I don't understand. Why can't they just get it right? Or is this a pre-requisite for being 'normal'?








This is referring to neediness or clingyness, but then others appear to have already addressed this.



Let me try to clear this up for you. Although I'm not going to dispute that there are probably women out there who like this kind of challenge (each to their own I suppose), I do believe this is a self-esteem issue. A lot of people, particularly those that are not of aspie/autistic persuasion, are highly influenced by the media. Women are constantly made to feel inferior or far from perfect by the media because of the array of pretty actresses, models and porn icons. These women are constantly thrust in our faces and we are told that if we don't look like them, think like them, dress like them etc, we are plain, fat and/or ugly. A lot of women fall for this hook, line and sinker. But then it really doesn't help when you get some men who will actually put you down for not aspiring to be as 'sexy' as some of these people and will, therefore, not give you the time of day. I think that women who feel like this are then grateful for any attention they get, even if it's negative. This attention, although not necessarily liked, seems to be favourable to being ignored and, consequently, 'left on the shelf'.

I once had a guy tell me he liked me, despite the fact that I was 'plain', didn't have 'Jordanesque (in other words, disproportionately massive) boobs', I was too short, too pale and my hair wasn't the blonde colour he liked. However, he said that the fact that I was slim with a good enough figure was something that meant I wasn't a total loss attractionwise. As you can imagine, I never dated him. He isn't the only man to say stuff similar to this to me either. It's almost as if some men feel that they need to let you know that you should be honoured they like you, even though you don't tick any boxes when it comes to physical attraction. I would never dream of treating a man like this, ever. I know I'm plain, I'm not stunning and I never will be unless I wear a mask (or ridiculous amounts of make-up ). But I don't care, but then I don't want people pointing out as a fault either, which some men and the media feel it is their right to do.




This is simply telling you that you have to be happy within yourself first before you get a girlfriend. Most people (both men and women) are attracted to those that are secure in themselves and happy to be who they are.



It's like when I was at school. I was bullied and if I stuck up for myself, I was the one that was apparently in the wrong according to the teachers, meaning the bullies got away with it. Society favours bullies, and this is why society is in the mess it is in and why it really sucks.



I've never really understood why making primitive noises while watching football is considered normal, whereas wanting to expand my knowledge (something I do relatively quietly and harmlessly, i.e. I am not disturbing anyone by making stupid primitive noises) is considered odd. I know it's the whole 'following the crowd' thing i.e. it's cool to like football and not to read up knowledge, but it makes you wonder, who on Earth started this trend? The mind boggles.



This is the whole 'following the crowd' thing again really. But then, once again, I would like to know the first ever person who decided what you should listen to in order to be cool. I say listen to what you like, what makes you happy, screw everyone else, they aren't important.

Hey- we know the same guy and I didn't date him either, for the exact same reason you didn't. He told me I had beautiful eyes but my nose wrecked the overall facial package. Too bad about the nose. Such nice eyes wasted on a face with that nose. Did I want to go out for coffee with him? No I did not. My nose smelled a rat.

It would seem your nose isn't that bad after all then . What an idiot though to say something like that and stiil expect that you will date him...

My ten things about NTs I dont get

#1 - #4: Everything I'm discussing in this thread. Which goes to show how irritated and illogical I think this is about NTs.

#5 The constant apathy and ridicule by NTs of emotionally/socially weak people...or just aspies in general. I just dont get their motivation for this at all. Even the so-called good-hearted NTs are constantly aching to get a chuckle from us just trying to be serious. Nothing I can say or do or like cant be expressed without someone laughing at me and calling it 'cute'. Basically I cant be myself without even my own friend laughing at me for it.

Simply put it: hypocrisy: If an NT feels hurt, they are given and deserved sympathy. If an aspie gets hurt, it's either funny...or no one gives a crap.

#6 Another form of classic NT hypocrisy: NTs when they get on my sh*t for improperly cleaning up or using their property when they're constantly all over mine without my complaints

#7 This might not be an NT thing but in my case, I never got into the whole "take pictures of everything, everwhere and everyone" aspect of life. Sure it's a great way to preserve memories but it feel kinda a waste of paper or CDs. I rely on my own brain to remember things even though it's not the best. The fact that I got to experience certain aspects of life is good enough for me but the memorabilia usually ends up being a bunch of worthless junk, IMO

#8 Everyone on the planet knows that people apply for jobs because they need money. So I feel alot of NT work-interview questions such as "why do you want to work here?" or "What are your life goals" are pointless if you're applying for a little mediocre job to get you by for a small amount of time.

#9 This is probably the one big thing I dont get about NT romances:

Why do 95% of the NTs marry or get engaged to people THEY KNOW they are not going to get along with?! I swear basically every NT couple I know has a guy with completely different interests/personalities from the girl and vice versa and thus the constant arguing begins. I dont understand how these couples can base themselves under the concept of "opposites attract", especially when it gets to the point where they cant stand being under the same roof with one another and then you have the girl or the guy constantly leaving the other to hang out elsewhere. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? What is so romantic about having to fight and argue with your spouse all the time?

#10 This thread again for good measure...which just goes to show how much I hate this aspect of my AS and how much it has consumed my life.

Regarding #2, I'm from Northern VA but I tell people I'm from DC. It's a common thing from where I'm from - if you tell people you're from Virginia they get the wrong idea and think of southern or western VA. So we say we're from DC.