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TheHaywire
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04 Dec 2009, 6:53 am

I was wondering how many other aspie's here have been gang targets. First it was just typical middle school bullying but now it's become pretty intense in my adult life. I can't seem to get away from the 1 against all thing.



Danielismyname
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04 Dec 2009, 7:25 am

No, but then, I avoid places where people congregate.

Groups of people are usually trouble in my experience.



Fiz
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04 Dec 2009, 8:55 am

I used to be the target of a gang of people at school, mainly thanks to one person who bullied me who got everyone else to pick on me too. I was also targeted in this way at 2 workplaces!! But now I avoid large crowds of people or work places where I am going to work with lots of people. I find my life is happier and safer this way.


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Maggiedoll
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04 Dec 2009, 9:18 am

In 5th grade there was a "Margaret Haters Club"... created just for the people who despised me particularly strongly!



FaithHopeCheese
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04 Dec 2009, 9:29 am

I have the attitude that I refuse to be a victim, so whenever I'm downtown or on a train by myself, I project an attitude of "You DO NOT want to mess with me". Even though I am completely harmless, there have been a few times in my life where I believe that by facing someone down, I prevented myself from being a target. Another time while traveling interstate with my sister, I had a bad feeling that this guy at a gas station was following her and was going to try to grab her wallet or something - She was holding her daughter at the time, making her an easy target. I got out of my car and stared at him while she was walking to the car and my sister was like "WHAT? WHAT?" All I could say was "It just doesn't look right" over and over. He then made a beeline for this field by the highway and walked kind of aimlessly. Anyway, I'm not trying to brag about how brave I am, but what I'm trying to say is I think you have to have an irrational confidence, especially when you're a woman. It reminds me of the joke: "Yeah, I know Juno..... judono if I got a knife, judono if I got a gun"


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Rainbow-Squirrel
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04 Dec 2009, 10:30 am

I seem to be an easy target here at work, where I have no possibility to escape nor reply as I have to be nice by role. Until the end of university I had no real problems of bullying/disrespect, after that I've had some and that's how I became even more asocial.



FaithHopeCheese
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04 Dec 2009, 12:27 pm

Rainbow-Squirrel wrote:
I seem to be an easy target here at work, where I have no possibility to escape nor reply as I have to be nice by role. Until the end of university I had no real problems of bullying/disrespect, after that I've had some and that's how I became even more asocial.


Sometimes it is all in your attitude, and a confident silence can be more intimidating than harsh words. People know when they're being jerks, they just don't expect anyone to call them out on it, which is another reason women are victimized..We don't want to be "rude"...


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UrchinStar47
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04 Dec 2009, 12:54 pm

FaithHopeCheese wrote:
I have the attitude that I refuse to be a victim, so whenever I'm downtown or on a train by myself, I project an attitude of "You DO NOT want to mess with me". Even though I am completely harmless, there have been a few times in my life where I believe that by facing someone down, I prevented myself from being a target.

This worked for me as well. I can't currently project that cool air of confidence, but i do carry a can of CS gas, so...



PaganMom
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04 Dec 2009, 1:05 pm

A couple of boys who used to hang out with my oldest son are in the local gang. Not that out here, they do anything except probably sell weed or something, but they wear their red and flag with their bandanas and shoes and stuff. So, since these boys were in my house so much, and still stop by to say hey and maybe use the phone or hang around for a few minutes, and call me "Mom" I'm pretty safe from any gang type violence here.

PaganMom



Confused-Fish
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05 Dec 2009, 12:32 am

I had loads of problems with racism when i was younger, thinking about it now my AS probably played a part in that.

Never had a problem with gangs or anything like that though, the area i used to live was quite rough and alot of the lads there were into things like drugs, recreational violence, vandalism and stuff like that and were well known for causing trouble and starting fights with or robbing random people though most of them knew i had AS and were quite friendly and would even look out for me, alot of them would always offer me one of their beers or a spliff when i saw them hanging around the estates too.. oddly enough in the way they spoke to me and reacted to my condition they were much more respectful and understanding than most well off/model citizen types.



Blindspot149
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05 Dec 2009, 2:49 am

I've never been bullied physically.

Bullying at school was verbal and of course because of AS it wasn't always clear to me WHEN I was being bullied until after a week or so I realised that the new 'word' that was being shouted was directed at me.

I really don't know how I maanged to survive from 14 to 16; it was utter misery.


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Dilbert
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05 Dec 2009, 4:16 am

I was bullied in junior high. Nowadays *I'm* the big scary muscular guy. ;) I'm a teddy bear though! But as we are judged mainly by superficial traits, and sometimes even just the appearance, I'm apparently intimidating. That suits me just fine.



mechanicalgirl39
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05 Dec 2009, 5:13 pm

Yeah I was bullied a lot in school, until some boys incited another girl to start a fight with me.

It wasn't pretty.

I also don't go around town alone any more because I had one gang of boys threaten to rape me...as well as follow me around shouting obscenities...they did this once when I was on my way into the supermarket and only went away because I called the manager.


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ssenkrad
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06 Dec 2009, 12:46 am

TheHaywire wrote:
I was wondering how many other aspie's here have been gang targets. First it was just typical middle school bullying but now it's become pretty intense in my adult life. I can't seem to get away from the 1 against all thing.


I would like to hear about your experiences as an adult, if you wouldn't mind sharing. I was a target of a local "gang" of sorts when I was 11 and 12; of course, the gang was also that age. I remember getting thrown in a lake, lol. But since then and high school, bullying isn't really an issue.. could be because my peers are too old to express themselves that way, or that I'm at a rather civil University.



Maggiedoll
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06 Dec 2009, 8:44 am

Confused-Fish wrote:
Never had a problem with gangs or anything like that though, the area i used to live was quite rough and alot of the lads there were into things like drugs, recreational violence, vandalism and stuff like that and were well known for causing trouble and starting fights with or robbing random people though most of them knew i had AS and were quite friendly and would even look out for me, alot of them would always offer me one of their beers or a spliff when i saw them hanging around the estates too.. oddly enough in the way they spoke to me and reacted to my condition they were much more respectful and understanding than most well off/model citizen types.

I've noticed that there's a very special kind of bully-type that seems to like looking out for "weaker" people. Perhaps it's because they don't feel threatened by you, or because protecting you makes them feel either powerful or kind--like that their violence and stuff was "sticking it to the man" or whatever, and therefore rightful, but that they should be friendly to someone with problems. Or maybe they felt like they had something in common with you.. they felt like they were outcasts from society, and that because of AS you were too.