Have you ever dated another aspie?

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The temper all guys are supposed to have whether AS or NT worries me. I've never seen this guy lose his temper but I'm still a little scared. I lived in a very volatile house when I was younger and will never live in one again. So it makes me very uncomfortable to be too close to someone else. I just don't handle conflict very well.

Does anyone else get scared in their relationships or during fights with their partner?

Wow you're a girl I thought you were a guy


I have gotten in arguments in my relationships. None of them were scary. There was no violence.
I have gotten uncomfortable with my first two when they start cursing and my first ex put me off and made me real uncomfortable when he told me on the phone after we had broken up that he is so sick of people judging and him and stuff some day he is going to hack into the government computer system and control the satellite and blow up the world.
I knew that would never happen but I still felt uneasy. So I thought I was being silly but no my mom told me those feelings were normal and he had no right to talk that way and he is just violent.

Of course my ex had never hit me before or beat me or bullied me, but he did have a history of violence and talked about it. He even talked about doing certain things he had a desire to do. I of course had never hit him because I knew if I did, he would have restrained me because he knew self defense. He told me that's what he does with women when they start beating him.

With my second ex, he was full of anger. He always cursed and sometimes I get uneasy with his cursing but he also never hit me and I never hit him even though I'd feel like it.

In my marriage, my husband and I get into disagreements sometimes and I get really mad and I rarely hit him but that is if he tells me to calm down or pushes me over the edge. But we don't argue a lot.

*Double Post*

Last edited by Spokane_Girl on 12 Dec 2009, 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My first bf fitted the criteria for asprgers syndrome (I'm pretty sure he has it); he was v self centered and impossible to talk to about anything. I ended up feeling extremely lonely in the relationship and my self-esteem was non existant by the time we split up.

I thought that going out with an aspie would be easy for me because I have AS and know what the thought processes are like. The thing is, he didn't really care about trying to understand me back, so it was very unbalanced

Basically, my advice would be don't go out with an aspie just because of what they are; you have to be compatible with the person underneath the symptoms.

GreyGhost your post resonates with me. I also grew up in a house that was constantly filled with the sound of my parents screaming at eachother at the top of their lungs. Their was rarely any physical violence but my parents were both very scary people. My dad in particular was big, strong, loud, and angry. So I think this is part of the reason that yelling to this day makes me feel small and afraid.

My boyfriend does get mad relatively frequently. He is a sweet and kind person but can get very upset when confronted with unfair situations.. and unfortunately this world is full of them. He has never been mad like that at me but it still scares the hell out of me when he gets mad.

With my ex husband, he never really raised his voice at me but he was always insulting me and belittling me and being sarcastic and rolling his eyes at me and telling me I was stupid and etc etc. So I was usually the one yelling in that relationship. I did actually punch him in the shoulder on two seperate occasions. I was not afraid of him in the least.

I'm dating one right now!

i think so
thank god it didn't work out
it was s**t

i have. it's intense.

the first time i was in my early 20s. At the time neither us knew about AS. But looking back on it, it was clear as day. It wasn't something i was ready for tho. I was so used to being isolated in my own little bubble that having someone share my world was too frightening for me. I didn't know what was going on. I broke it off, badly. My loss. He was smart, good-looking, considerate, sexy, decent. I was a mess.

an AS/AS relationship is definitely worth experiencing when there is that connection. However, i would be wary of playing by the same rules as NT relationships. Talk about everything and do what works in your situation.

I think my ex shows a few traits...he didn't exactly seem to want to communicate with me. He also had a pretty short temper. We never really had any huge arguments though. I'm an aspie too, so I half understood where he was coming from, but in the end, it just didn't work out. >_<

yeah. I'm in one right now, actually met her on the brief time I used this site over the summer. Its a great relationship and very intense in a lot of aspects. Although AS is definitely not the reason I'm with her and not our deciding factor. We just happened to click and our personalities mesh together like batter haha. We both tend to be very blunt with each other though (although in our case its a good thing). But yeah, don't date a girl/boy just bc they have AS...date them for who they are, not what they are labeled. Treat them as an individual *shrug*


=)

NO

This is perhaps the most reassuring quote I've seen on here in a while. I totally feel this way, but I thought that maybe this is limited to guys, since girls seem so "hungry" for relationships. This makes me more confident that I might be able to find a woman who wants to experiment sexually and experience mutual attraction without the need to really share our worlds to any large extent, at least at the beginning. Were you living around me now and in your 20s, we might have been great for each other.

I had some issues with my second ex's quirks (when she came down to visit me, she wanted everything her way, and it disrupted my routine, although I am generally a laid-back, flexible person), but I will not let that deter me from another AS-AS relationship.

That sounds exactly like my ex-girlfriend. Perhaps that's a aspie trait?

My last girlfriend was aspie and it was good but stressful for the reason stated in the paragraph above (and the quote).

Do I want to go out with another aspie? Yes, definately, because we're all different just like every other humans, and aspies understand each other and tend to be able to socialise with each other a lot better, the understanding thing being especially important in a relationship.

It has to do with the black and white thinking. He argued with me and you know how aspies will argue with you till you agree with them which is the most annoying trait they can have but they can learn to not do it. They tend to think they're right and will argue it until you admit they are right and agree with them. Of course normies can do this too and it's common in religion and politics. But aspies do it in other things like my ex did.
He had several other aspie traits but I'm not going to make a list of them. People say he was just an as*hole so I don't think he was AS. He did score between apsie and NT on the aspie quiz.

If only I had. YES, I would like to, but as of yet, have not dated another person with AS. I can only imagine that the meeting in person and first date would be quite awkward, but still be a real kick! I would enjoy it, and do it over and over again until I found that one Aspie woman that i could settle down with.