Online dating vs. Pick Up Artist tactics (PUA)

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AutisticMalcontent
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13 Dec 2009, 1:01 pm

I thought I'd dedicate a post to something that has been on my mind and something that is a reoccurring theme on this forum: online dating, or using online dating sites to meet potential girls.

I will tell you from previous experience that 99.9% of the time online dating or dating services online DO NOT WORK. How do I know? Because I have paid for online dating services in the past, and I've joined a lot of free dating sites, like Plenty of Fish and whatnot.

Now I know some of you might say "Oh, well maybe it was just you, and you were unlucky". Well look at how many guys on this forum are "unlucky" and are still looking for girlfriends via internet dating services, or posting "I need a girlfriend", "Does any girl in my area want to chat", etc and so forth on this forum. I feel for you guys because I've been there before too. I've done online dating and realized how silly and unrealistic it is, how really unfulfillable it is.

The truth of the matter is this, there are probably hundreds, if not thousands of guys, who are on these online dating sites, looking for a girlfriend. And there is a small to moderate amount of girls on these sites, and they can't pick every guy that sends them ims or messages saying "Hi wanna chat?" Women have their own personal tastes and criteria, and they basically get the pick of the litter. Actually I really wonder how often women are on these dating sites, because guys usually tend to be on them more than girls.

Well anyways, with very, very rare exceptions, online dating is an exercise in futility. However, there is a way around all of this, that I have read about and have seen videos of, and that is using Pick Up Artist tactics (PUA tactics). Where can you learn about PUA tactics? BY reading books like the Mystery Method: How to get beautiful women into bed by Mystery, going on to pick up artist forums, and reading other books by notable pick up artists. There are also youtube videos showing these techniques in action, like this one for example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViqMtH5iHHA


Guys like us, we really don't have a fighting chance on our own. Most of us are introverted, shy, and uncomfortable around the female sex. By being ourselves, we will continue to be alone because we aren't opening up to women and attracting them. However, if you can learn to manipulate conversations and engage women in them successfully, your chances of getting to know women better are greater than just going at it alone. Just some food for thought. Good luck guys :) .



0_equals_true
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13 Dec 2009, 1:39 pm

Personally, I want to learn how to beat a dead horse first. :lol:



makuranososhi
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13 Dec 2009, 2:22 pm

It's a legitimate question, AM - how many threads are you going to make on what is essentially the same subject?


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therange
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13 Dec 2009, 8:20 pm

I feel bad for the OP. Instead of being a decent, albeit shy/awkward guy, he's going to learn "Who lies more, men or women?" or "I'd hit on you if I weren't a homosexual" pick up lines while wearing weird clothing and looking like a tool.

OP, do you really want to get women by being a wannabe prick?

Chances are, if you're awkward, you aren't going to attract hot women anyway, and if you were really good looking, you wouldn't be this desperate to attract women. Why not just be yourself, a better version of yourself. I'm proof that you can be significantly more outgoing without being a player or a manipulator.



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13 Dec 2009, 8:46 pm

Nothing wrong with dating cites, my advice though - build a really good profile and don't by any means shoot out 'Wanna chat' at just any girl who looks attractive. This partly means - let them come to you. What this also means - do you have a 'type' IRL that tends to more readily like you than other types that you actually find yourself both physically attracted to and to where you like the personality that type typically has? If so - that's where you contact a girl on her profile and you're quite apt to get a good response, mainly because even if other guys might be sending her 50 messages (if she's more esotericly attractive it may be a much more moderate number) - you may still have a fair amount of competition but unlike your competition your inquiry, when she reads your blurb and sees a picture of you, has a strong advantage that the others don't - your inquiry is actually salient in terms of being well-aimed and on-point; that likely will get a good response.



AutisticMalcontent
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14 Dec 2009, 7:17 pm

therange wrote:
I feel bad for the OP. Instead of being a decent, albeit shy/awkward guy, he's going to learn "Who lies more, men or women?" or "I'd hit on you if I weren't a homosexual" pick up lines while wearing weird clothing and looking like a tool.

OP, do you really want to get women by being a wannabe prick?

Chances are, if you're awkward, you aren't going to attract hot women anyway, and if you were really good looking, you wouldn't be this desperate to attract women. Why not just be yourself, a better version of yourself. I'm proof that you can be significantly more outgoing without being a player or a manipulator.



You know what? I got nowhere being a "decent, albeit shy/awkward guy" as you put it. I was too nice, too easily manipulated, and because of these things women did respect me or give me any thought romantically. Being "myself" did not do me any favors.

As for your question, I don't want to get women by being a prick. If I had a choice, I would be myself and that would be enough. But since the world is not fair concerning relationships and dating, and considering my efforts up to this point have been in vain, what other choice do I have? Do you honestly think I want to have to do this? I don't want to, but what else am I supposed to do? Be myself? Oh, that really worked wonders for me, let me tell you.

As for this:

"Chances are, if you're awkward, you aren't going to attract hot women anyway, and if you were really good looking, you wouldn't be this desperate to attract women."

I tell you this, if I could go without women romantically and be happy as could be, I would do it in a heartbeat. My natural attraction to women has brought me more trouble and more resentment than if I had never been attracted to them. But since I always find myself drawn to them, even when I resent the times that I've been rejected, I still feel that I need them.

What do you know of my loneliness? If you had been as single as long as I have, you would be as desperate too.



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14 Dec 2009, 7:40 pm

If you can pull it off, why the hell not? I know nothing of a.) online dating and b.) (successfully) being something that I am not, and these are things that could never work for me, but I know plenty of people that these tactics have worked for, so I mean if you're desperate enough (which seemingly you are) then absolutely go for it.

I'm not surprised that you aren't getting a whole lot of support in the sense of people "jumping on the bandwagon". But for my part I am in support of anything that involves "stretching" your capabilities, as this is a very difficult and unnatural thing to do, and even if it doesn't work, you will learn a lot about yourself in the process. And as far as I can tell, the biggest potential downside is that maybe it doesn't work, in which case you can honestly say "oh well, that wasn't really me anyway" and regroup with a minimum of self-esteem sacrificed.

Of course this is all simply intuition on my part, I don't understand it emotionally as I have been blessed with more-or-less infinite patience in these matters, and hence never carry myself with a "desperation" vibe and don't get butthurt when progress is slow or nonexistent. So I apologize if my perspective is "missing" a necessary component (as I suspect it quite possibly is)...


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Loli-kun
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14 Dec 2009, 8:01 pm

well I've been trying this free site called OkCupid.com which is pretty good. Its smaller then the wellknown ones so... But so far it seems to be good. Haven't actually gotten a date off of it yeat but have found several people similar to me who are within an hours drive of me who I've been getting to know through chatting and video chats.


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