Health Class-Share Your Stories

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Come on, they're funny.

I had a health teacher in seventh grade who on the first day, gave us this speech:
"Now, boys and girls, we are mature now and we are no longer little and immature boys and girls. We are going to use big, proper words in this class because we are so mature, and we are going to practice now.
1...2...3...breasts".

Haha. I like that.

I remember, in 10th grade, when we were learning about vasectomies. One boy was so disgusted, he raised his hand and said "I think I am going to throw up", so he was told to go into the bathroom.
Reportedly while he was in the bathroom, he ripped the soap dispenser out of the wall and started yelling.... over vasectomies.

<off topic>
Hey Gina, your signature sounds like Russian (or maybe Polish?) words. I was able to understand the gist of it, since I've been self-studying Russian for about a year. Are/were you doing the same thing? Or did someone who speaks Russian natively write it for you?
</off topic>

I got my own joke. Little Johnny comes to first grade, and his teacher says: "You're not in kindergarten anymore; you're first-graders now. So that means you have to practice using grown-up words. Let's start by talking about what we did during the summer. Bobby, you go first."
"I rode a choo-choo across the country", Bobby said.
"The grown-up word for that is 'train'," his teacher corrected him. "Jenny, you go next."
"I visited my nana, who lives on a farm. I played with..."
"Jenny, the grown-up word is 'grandmother' or 'grandma'," the teacher corrected her.
"May I go next?", Johnny said, while raising his hand.
"Yes, you may. Now, what did you do during the summer?"
"I read a book 'Winnie the Sh*t'."

In seventh grade, our teacher said he was going to teach us the correct meanings of certain words some of us were already using out on the playground ... and it still took me a while to catch on.

Many years later, that man died of alcoholism after nobody had done the same for him in that particular arena.

I remember getting the "talk" at school in the 5th grade. They separated the boys and the girls. The boys were given a little booklet with pictures and diagrams. It was outlined in a FAQ format. The school counselor came in and drew diagrams on the board. There were smirks on the faces on all the kids faces. The boys lecture was shorter than the girls lecturer so we were permitted to go play outside. Instead of taking advantage of this free time to play on the playground...all the boys peeked in the classroom where the girls were getting their lecture. Finally the teacher came outside and shooed us away. Oh yeah, the girls got free maxipads and secret deodorant. The guys brand of deodorant didn't come in so they gave them secret deodorant too.

LOL fast-forward to 3:28...that pad is huge...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--45yAU7NUw[/youtube]

New story: recently, we were watching a video in class that talked about judgement, pressure, and decisions.

A woman on it was saying, "In my day, we had bases- you know, first base, second base, third base, and home. These days, kids don't have bases. They go on dates and they have sex."

Okay, clearly she hasn't been around a lot of kids recently.

Aspie1 - It's Russian, and it's the chorus to a Russian song I like ('Eva' by Vintazh).

Me: Ma'am, I'm a lesbian. How can I maintain my virginity until marriage if I can't legally marry?
Health Teacher: I am not allowed to answer that question.

We had a cool teacher who I had for Resource World Studies. The teacher gave us fun assignments like watch programs on TV and write a paragraph on each one. We watched these entertaining videos on CPR/First Aid and we got to do CPR on the Dummies.

One day we recreated a Rescue 911 episode and used the Dummies for CPR. On Fridays if we were really good we got to watch Who Wants to be A Millionaire and other fun videos. The homework was fun and I could usually finish it in class or in 30 minutes.

We also did a nutrition log and for the people who turned it in on time our teacher gave us Starbucks Giftcards. As it turned out I was one of few who turned it in on time.

The final exam was a movie and party. I learned a lot and it was a laid back class where there was not much notetaking.

My story is similar to everyone else's stories in this thread. In the 5th grade, the school nurse put all the boys in one room and all the girls in another, and each group would watch an educational video on puberty respective to their sex. I remember a lot of the boys were snickering during the video. In the end, we were given a stick of deodorant and a pamphlet. I remember feeling a little confused afterward.

Fast forward to 10th grade, the year I took Health class. We didn't cover anything on reproductive health and sex and all that. Actually, we may have very briefly touched on it, but it was basically a "don't have sex" message. The high school I went to had a very large number of pregnant and parenting students, too.

My stories from health class were very conservative considering that I live in a liberal state. A lot of the messages consisted of "Sex is dirty and only for reproductive purposes," "Masturbating makes you a pig," "Getting an abortion makes you less of a human," etc. Thankfully I was spared of those awkward puberty videos... but it was mandatory to see what would happen to your genitals when certain STDs were contracted.