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asperges
Raven
Raven

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Joined: 15 Mar 2009
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 101

30 Dec 2009, 3:41 am

I was recently invited to a New Year's Eve party. I am not sure how large it will be, but I do know that it will be full of college age students (which is my age group). You can draw your own conclusions as to what you think that entails.

As a person with Asperger's, I have difficulty interacting with people on a social level. I already know a few people there, but it has been my experience in similar situations that the people that I know may not want to be standing next to me all night (though some may) if I feel awkward. They may prefer to mingle. The problem is it becomes that more difficult to mingle without people I know around to introduce me.

Does anyone have suggestions about how to approach random people at parties, especially one's of the opposite sex (I'm a male)? What about things to do, when you attempt to make converstation and it doesn't go anywhere (I don't want to be that guy that is standing around after a failed attempt at conversation waiting for a good chance to break into the converstaion, a chance that never comes. Nor do I wish to have to switch groups every two minutes in order to not be that guy standing around)?



Jaydee
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

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Joined: 4 Aug 2009
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 130

30 Dec 2009, 2:37 pm

Well, this isn't easy. I guess that one advice would be to discretely walk over to a group of people who are talking, spend a few minutes listening to what they are talking about (laugh and smile if they do), and when you have grasped what they are talking about, you can offer your own comments on the subject (just short and rather superficial comments - if they want to hear more of what you're saying, they will ask for more details or ask for you to elaborate). If you can't find anything to say or the conversation seems too boring to join, smile and walk discretely on to the next group. Do the same as with the first group. Hold a drink in your hand, try to look as if you mingle at cocktail parties every day. :) If you don't know the people there, introduce yourself.

If you see someone standing alone, you can walk discretely over to them, smile and say, for example: "Hi. I haven't seen you around before. My name is...", or (if you know the host of the party): "Where do you know (the host's name) from?" Listen to what the person is saying. And you can easily charm somebody with smiling and saying: "Smalltalk is really not my thing".
When I write "walk discretely" I mean walking in a slow and carefully approaching way, not barrelling over at full speed.
Good luck to you, and have a nice new year's celebration.



MJackson
Raven
Raven

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Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 120

30 Dec 2009, 9:22 pm

Just don't worry about it and sit by yourself if u dont wanna move around and feel alone. Bring a pair of headphones with u if u are concerned about how u look or if u get board.



MJackson
Raven
Raven

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Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 120

30 Dec 2009, 9:28 pm

There was a Halloween party that everyone was kinda invited to, but I wasn't really invited to..but i kinda was cuz everyone was...but the girl never told me about it. So i asked the girl and she said everyone's invited. But the only I found out was through my friends who is a guy.

Anyways I didnt go because they were gonna be drinking and stuff, and a lot of the girls taht went were stuck up and I didnt feel like being bothered and I also was nervous and I had the feeling that people wouldnt wanna talk to me all night..


so i just didnt go...so just dont go if u are that nervous and uncomfortable ok./...:)