Is There Anyone Who DOESN'T Want To Have Kids?

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I don't mind children but don't plan on having them till I've got a decent income which won't happen for a very long time. I'm also scared of pregnancy, my P.E teacher once said to our class "giving birth is like pooping out a watermelon". Consider me a bit scared for life

I always said I didn't want kids. But reading these posts has made me stop to wonder what happened. Did I change my mind, or was I simply lying to myself all along? Because I did have one after all. I think maybe it was a half-truth. Maybe I said I didn't want kids for so long because I believed having and nurturing a child was something that couldn't be done without a father on the scene. I never really believed I would be able to maintain a partnership long enough, and I was dead right about that part. So I think it was true, for as long as I believed the two were inseparable.

Anyway, I was lucky. I never got pregnant when I didn't intend to, and I did get pregnant when I defiantly decided to let nature take its course ... and brought up my child alone, as expected (though in touch with his father who has stayed constant, though at a great physical distance). It's all worked out very well for us and he turns 21 this week. Just another perspective.

BTW I do completely believe anyone who says she doesn't want kids, and admire any woman who can say it, mean it, and stick with it.

I never want children, and I have trouble understanding why anyone would.

I have heaps of my own problems to bear. Why would I want to add to my troubles the enormous responsibility of raising a human to adulthood? Where is the sense in that?

If I ever decide I like caring for children, I will get an educator's certificate and teach kindergarten. That way, I can satisfy any hypothetical maternal instinct I may develop in the future, but still keep my comfortable life.

I have a slew of health problems and I feel that having a child would simply be pissing in the gene pool.

I'll be fine with my dogs.

I haven't ever wanted to have kids. I just feel like I'm expected to entertain them all the time and I honestly have trouble just maintaining simple conversation.

Well, I had kids. It's what was expected. I liked it a lot, though. It's an awesome feeling to have an actual human growing inside me. It hurt to push my giant babies out, but only for a few minutes. I homeschooled them for a long time. That was great fun. Then my husband hit his mid-life crisis and got into drugs and icky women. I had to finish raising the 4 kids on my own. It was very hard, but I did it and they're all raised and self-supporting. I wasn't perfect enough and now they don't talk to me. My heart is utterly broken. I've heard raising kids could do that but I never thought it would happen to me or hurt this badly.

I don't like that a woman is expected to have the kids and give up her life to raise them. I mean, there are sacrifices but the woman shouldn't make them all. I don't like that men take off and leave them to raise kids alone, or give them a hard time from afar. (my ex was always hauling me into court for nothing - he seriously harassed me for 14 years and did nothing to help.) It really takes two adults to be fair to everyone involved, especially the kids so a stable and committed relationship is key.

You're young. Do that for awhile and enjoy yourself. Exploring who you are only makes you a better person - more suitable for raising children anyways. You have time to change your mind or not. I like that you've stopped to examine the situation. Not having kids is as much a good choice as having them.

It's just those darned hormones...

I don't really want kids......and even if I did I don't think I would make a very good parent. Sure I would be open minded and try to encourage the child to be honest with me about things so I can give them advice. But I don't think I could deal with taking care of a young childs needs, and the stress as well as sensory sensitivities to the screaming and crying would get to me and I would become far to frustrated which would be damaging to the child.

I don't ever want kids. It would be doing the gene pool a kind favor. I also lack the maternal instincts in child raising. I want to have my uterus removed at some point in my life but my family would hate me for it. They keep telling me the one day you will have kids s**t. Um....no. I've had friends tell me the same thing. All of my friends are NT but are not aware of my AS and maybe that's why they think that I'll change my mind. I made up my mind at age 14 and I don't often change my decisions once they are made.

My daughter said the same kind of thing, since birth. She called kids things like, "trouble in a skin sack." She also shaved her head and said long hair was a sign of a woman's bondage to men - that she'd never marry or be anything like me. I really believed her. Then the hormones got her and at 21, she's married, has a son and beautiful hair down to her waist, and is very like me.

I think I would have less trouble believing someone who has gotten over the hormonal hump. Wait until you're 28-30 to pull the plug permanently and for heaven's sake, don't do a full on hysterectomy just to prevent pregnancy. The missing period is wonderful but your uterus produces hormones you can use to remain sane. If you pull out the uterus, you may have to take some kind of synthetic hormonal replacement that will probably give you some kind of cancer later on. Snipping your tubes is simple, less multilating and in many cases, can be reversed.

You and I seem to be of the same mind on many issues Einfari!

I agree with waiting. I haven't made a 100% final decision but this is the position I'm leaning towards at the moment. Also I don't think removing my uterus will change hormones. I have heard that only the ovaries make estrogen and progesterone that make a female a female. I would never have my ovaries removed because I still want to have regular hormone levels. Removing only my uterus will just stop periods. I guess I can always try birth control.

Well I did not read all the posts.

I would think aspie females are less likely to want kids. Since some are tomboys and even if not, they might be more interested in a career or pursuing an interest.

I decided there was no way I could risk it, because of autism running in my family. So I got sterilized. (It is still possible to have a genetic child but it would cost a lot and be complex. Also with my physical problems I would not want to carry a baby.)

Now I am older, and it's normal to wonder about having kids, so I do. When I see some people who have great kids, and I look at how lonely I am. It's hard not to think, maybe my life would be vastly enriched if I had kids. But I also can't provide well enough for them, because of my differences. So I have to live as an observer.

I definetly don't want any kids. Not because of my AS, but rather because I honestly have never felt a desire to. I find the idea repulsive.

I agree with Einfari. I'd have my uterus/ovaries or both removed if any doctor on earth would do it. I'm willing to accept the possible complications, tube tying isn't enough. I don't have any desire to have female reproductive organs at all and I have an extreme aversion to the idea of being pregnant and there is no way in hell I am going to change my mind. I'm 26. No one would do a hysterectomy on a healthy woman, though.

Also, as far as I understand it, the uterus does not produce any hormones. You're thinking of the ovaries.


That being said, I am almost certain for various reasons that I am pregnant at this moment. ><' I've been on the pill but nothing is 100%, not even tubal ligation (aka tube-tying). Yet more reason to get rid of these stupid organs. They serve no purpose for me other than to lower my quality of life. I'll be taking a test tonight and if positive, taking appropriate actions to remedy the malady.

I'd like to get my tubes tied. I don't want a hysterectomy, really. I want to get off hormonal contraceptives (I don't trust barrier methods). My body produces a lot of testosterone for a woman anyway, which I actually quite like. What I don't like is having to take fake pregnancy hormones to avoid getting pregnant.

MEEEEEE I do not want kids. It helps that I have no desire for sex.