Extremes in Aspergers

Post Reply New Topic

I know quite a lot of people with Aspergers and have noticed that, while they are all different, they tend to veer towards one extreme or another in their personalities. These are the ones I've noticed.

Very high self-esteem or very low self esteem
Over-confident or lacking in confidence
Extremely passive or extremely aggressive
Talking too much or barely talking at all
Very positive or extremely negative
Over-trusting or not trusting people enough
Extremely open (e.g telling things they may not want to know) or very, very private.
Very naive/gullible or very cynical

These are just some observations, no idea if they're right or not.

and everything in between.

If I fit into the exremes, they would be with the folowing

low self esteem/confidence
extremely negative
talk too much
extreme cynic

Yes I have noticed. It's like black and white. Either we do it or we don't. My husband said things are extreme with me. I don't feel my emotions until they are extreme. With my hunger, I am not hungry until I am starving. I talk a lot or not at all. I don't know if there is between for me in all of this. Either I do too much or do too little. He says there is no between for me.
I think I am too positive about myself and it's a good thing. I can't even stand negative people.

Another thing I have noticed about AS is aspies either feel too much emotion or feel too little and some have too much empathy and some have too little. This is about feeling other peoples feelings and sensing them. Some have too much of it, they get overloaded with peoples feelings they are feeling they shutdown so they seem like they don't care and they are lacking it but really, they're not. I have read that some aspies leave situations when someone is in pain (emotionally) because they are too overloaded. I've only had that on occasions and it's hell. But with my husbands feet, it's too little empathy I have. I feel nothing for his feet and I can't feel his pain. Instead I can't stop laughing and I just wish he never told me his pain and how they really feel because I was better off just staring at him and ignoring it as he walks and trying to get out of his chair. Now I try and not laugh but he can still hear me when I hide under the blankets or hold in my lips or cover my mouth. But luckily he doesn't get upset. He says that's just part of me.

I notice this too. For myself I've noticed that I'm either highly motivated or not motivated at all. If something captivates me I can focus for hours. If I have little interest in something it's like there's a lead weight holding me back. I can't just go through the motions of life the way other people seem to be able to. I can't do anything half-assed.

I've wondered about this in regards to reading body language. It's generally viewed that people on the spectrum do not see body language but do think it's possible for someone to see too many interpretations to body language?

I'd be:

Low self-esteem
Lacking in confidence
I can be both extremely passive or aggressive depending on my mood.
Barely talking at all
Am both extremely positive or negative depending on my mood.
Over-trusting
Very Private
Very Naive.

I am all about extremes. Not only am I extremely sad, w/ no self esteem, very shy, talk very quiet, I also live to extremes. I am either 110% into something or zero.

A wierd thing though: I am "overly" empathetic and feel peoples pain too strongly, yet I am unable to express empathy in speech patterns or body language.

I am extreme in my reactions as well. It is either this, or that, nothing in between. If I'm upset with someone, it turns into "I hate you.. I want to cut all ties". This only lasts until I calm down.

I'm learning to identify the extreme behavior and calm it before I say it.

I definitely notice this. I'm very much in the passive camp and find it hard to sympathise with or relate to aggressive aspies even though I know I'm supposed to have something in common with them.

Some of the things you've listed I go between the extremes, eg. self esteem, confidence, positivity

I was mad at one of my aspie friends because of his irrational behavior so I didn't log in for days because I didn't want to talk to him. Then when I was on, I ignored him and when he IM me again, I told him I was mad at him. But after a simple apology and "I was having a bad day," I was over it.


But with my ex, he would piss me off and hurt me with his jokes and not respect me, I would want to break up with him. But then I'd calm down and not want to break up with him. But then again people say things they don't mean when they are mad. That's something I have had to work on because I can say vey hurtful things when I am mad. Then the next thing I know, I have no memory of saying it.

I am the same way. The up and down with hurt... I want to leave, then I get over it.My emotions are just so extreme. Finding a middle ground is very very difficult most of the time.

...Trying to change its program,
Trying to change the mode,
Crack the code -
Images conflicting into data overload...
- Rush, "The Body Electric", Signals

Yeah, I've noticed that everything about AS is extreme. It's weird, I don't even have an explanation for that. Well it's partly cuz we lack social skills and we don't know where to draw the lines accordingly, but that's just scratching the surface.

I'm very much the same way. I HATE that my emotions are extreme....or maybe I don't have any "real time" emotional awareness.

As a kid I was called a "spaz" or a crybaby.

For me, this may not be due to AS (I'm not sure I have it). I'm dx'ed Bipolar II, but I have these extremes without much pattern....so I don't know.

I am extremely awesome.