Wedding

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Am I off the wall on this one? My daughter is getting married and she dosn't want babies at her wedding because when they cry, parents just let them. I finally told some parents that if they absolutly cannot get a sitter then they can bring their babies but they need to go in the cry room, or sit in the very back of the church by a door so they can exit if the babies get fussy. Why is it that a parent will get a sitter for everything else but don't want to for a wedding?

Well in my case I have found it impossible to get a sitter for my daughter, and any relative who might watch her in the city I am travelling to to attend the wedding will be at the wedding. In the case of the infants perhaps the mothers are nursing them or something? Perhaps it would be better to hire a few sitters to watch the babies for the parents so they can enjoy the ceremony even if their babies fuss. Does this church have a nursery? If they hire sitters for the church services maybe you can find out who they use.

If the wedding is occuring in a church, chances are the church has a nursery, and they'll probably let you use it too. Have all the parents leave the children in the nursery during the wedding ceremony. You may be able to find a volunteer or two from the family to watch the babies. If not, I imagine a church member may help out too.

We did this at my sister's wedding. They had 5 kids in there that were under the age of 4 (the older kids attended the wedding), and had 2 people watching them.

This one baffled me too. I think parents need to realize that when a baby cries, it bothers the entire room. A baby crying is anything but cute; it's disruptive. Besides, what baby has the nerves to withstand a long wedding ceremony that has no "entertainment" (from a baby's point of view)? So bringing them to a wedding ceremony seems unreasonable at best.

P.S.: I once read a joke somewhere: "A four-year-old kid in a restaurant can scream louder than 200 adults talking".

If the wedding is being recorded, which many are, I could understand their not wanting the audio being dominated for posterity by a screeching munchkin. The video might get watched only once or twice later (cheesus h. frog I can't understand why though), but it is a once (hopefully) in a lifetime event they're planning.

Don't get me wrong... I was adamant about my own toddling progeny joining me in every happy moment, but with a "cry room" it sounds at least like you're willing to meet parents halfway.

[edited for clarity]

I thought you cant pick where you sit.

I think you should take your little one to the wedding. They would enjoy the festivities, and it is supposed to be a happy time.

By the way, of course I remember you. Tell your older daughter I said congratulations on her engagement.

You have to sit for hours and you cant move.

I think children should have fun and be exposed to festivities.

I would be deeply hurt if my mother was undermining my wishes for my wedding. It is considered bad manners to invite guests to someone else's party. It is not your wedding, so it's not your party. More often than not, children are not welcome guests at weddings and receptions because it is added expenses to have them attend as well as children have been known to steal the spotlight away from the bride and groom on their special day.

If you were my mother I'd ask you to go back to those parents and say “"Oh, dear, I really must tell you that it's just going to be a small family wedding, with a few older, intimate friends. I was mistaken about children being allowed to attend the wedding and reception. We all adore your child(ren). I was confused about what the bride and groom wanted. I am sorry for the misunderstanding and I hope you can still attend."

Thanks for the advice, actually my daughter was more than happy to accomodate parents, but we've been to churches that had nurseries and cry rooms and for some reason alot of parents wouldn't use them which baffles me. When I was allowed to bring my children to weddings we sat either in the foyer (when they were really young and no cry room available) or in the very back close to a door just in case. But I would see parents allowing thier youngsters to roam and fuss during these ceramomies. We always tried to get a sitter ourselves, and sometimes only one of us would go if we couldn't get one or couldn't afford one, and the invitation said no children. I never felt the need to impose on anyones party of festivities what I felt I wanted, or should have. One relative is angry because a four year old will be in the front row............we'll she is the grooms little sister and her daddy is going to walk her down the aisle to sit with her mom. Some people............go figure.

Well I don't really know why they wouldn't get a sitter but you're right they should. Only babies would do distract everyone. I agree with your daughter about not bringing the babies. When is the wedding?

I think they want to show them off. Maybe they want to be able to show the bride and groom what is going to happen the THEM in a few years, if they're not careful.

I don't blame her. They cry and it disrupts the bride and groom's special day. It used to be parents knew that were places babies and children didn't belong, now it seems people think children should be everywhere, which isn't right. Our society has gotten too child centered and that needs to change.

You daughter's wish should be honored, after all, it is her day. Those who can't get a sitter are out of luck I guess.