people

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Sometimes I have a hard time when people t know say things to me. So I never know what to say back to them. How can I stop being scared to speak to people, what should say?

It took me a long time to learn how to be comfortable in social situations. I was probably around 25 before I got the hang of it. The thing I used to do is sit at the edge of groups and watch and listen how they would interact. I kind of studied how it all worked. And as time went on, I practiced little things I'd seen, and took it from there. Because each situation is different there's no easy formula, but it helps to have an idea what the other person likes doing, what things are going on in their life right now (nothing too personal though), and then base what you say around that.

The best trick I learned was to ask questions. Keep the focus on them. That way you don't have to think of much stuff to say, and they feel like you're interested in them. Try to look at their face a bit, even if not straight into their eyes, so they feel like you're listening. When I first started doing this, I'm wasn't necesarily listening to their answers too closely. But it would keep a conversation flowing. The rule with questions is don't ask anything super-personal, and try to follow on from the last things they said. Once you've done it a bit, it's not too hard. Practice makes perfect(ish)...

I can manage if someone else starts the conversation but have a lot more trouble initiating one. I don't know why it never occurred to me to observe.

I find it easier when people say things to me. I have much less of a chance of talking about my special interests, and that person likely to have a more enjoyable time with me. I rarely talk to people about my interests, but the chance is still there.

Best way to have a conversation is to ask people about themselves.

"where'd you go for lunch...?"

"what did you do over the weekend...?"

then whilst they are talking, interject with lots of "ooh"s and "that's really cool"s.... more points if you can think of anything that ties in with their answer.

Then, usually they will ask you a question back and you just need to answer. My suggestion would be to talk for about a minute max, but more than one word if that makes sense.