Women can also initiate relationships!

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Matt55
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29 Jan 2010, 1:10 am

I hate the old-fashioned notion that men are supposed to be the one's to ask a woman out. In my opinion it's socially illogical, yet many people seem to follow this bizarre sexist rule! Whenever I approach women my age, they are very uneasy and nervous when I ask them out for a drink or make slightly flirtatious comments. I then assumed for many years that it's the woman's role to ask the man out, it wasn't until recently that I discovered that it is the man's role to ask a woman out. However I strongly disagree that men should be the only one's to initiate a relationship. Society needs to realize that women have just as much right socially to ask the man out! I fu..ing hate this current sexist "social code" that it is the man's responsibility to ask a woman out! It has deprived me of many potential girlfriends for too long! In addittion it is wrong to believe that women shouldn't take charge!



Iloverussia
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29 Jan 2010, 1:22 am

Matt55 wrote:
I hate the old-fashioned notion that men are supposed to be the one's to ask a woman out. In my opinion it's socially illogical, yet many people seem to follow this bizarre sexist rule! Whenever I approach women my age, they are very uneasy and nervous when I ask them out for a drink or make slightly flirtatious comments. I then assumed for many years that it's the woman's role to ask the man out, it wasn't until recently that I discovered that it is the man's role to ask a woman out. However I strongly disagree that men should be the only one's to initiate a relationship. Society needs to realize that women have just as much right socially to ask the man out! I fu..ing hate this current sexist "social code" that it is the man's responsibility to ask a woman out! It has deprived me of many potential girlfriends for too long! In addittion it is wrong to believe that women shouldn't take charge!


Asking a woman out is called being a man.



hale_bopp
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29 Jan 2010, 1:42 am

Yeah its kinda weird and not fair on men, but people seem to associate doing the asking with "having balls" which isn't very attractive in women.

It does happen though, I know of men being approached by women.



RhettOracle
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29 Jan 2010, 1:52 am

If my wife hadn't put the moves on me, I would not have been married to her for going on twelve years.

She wasn't aggressive or anything, but she did make it clear that I was the person she wanted to have a relationship with, and why. If she had been more subtle, and waited for me to make a move, I probably wouldn't have picked up on it, or made the move. She made it feel like the most natural thing, ever. And it is.



Matt55
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29 Jan 2010, 2:18 am

I have nothing against men asking women out, I think that women initiating a relationship should be just as accepted as a man initiating one. I am not any less of a man just because I believe women should have equal responsibility.



TheMinnesotaIceman
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29 Jan 2010, 3:44 am

Matt55 wrote:
I hate the old-fashioned notion that men are supposed to be the one's to ask a woman out. In my opinion it's socially illogical, yet many people seem to follow this bizarre sexist rule! Whenever I approach women my age, they are very uneasy and nervous when I ask them out for a drink or make slightly flirtatious comments. I then assumed for many years that it's the woman's role to ask the man out, it wasn't until recently that I discovered that it is the man's role to ask a woman out. However I strongly disagree that men should be the only one's to initiate a relationship. Society needs to realize that women have just as much right socially to ask the man out! I fu..ing hate this current sexist "social code" that it is the man's responsibility to ask a woman out! It has deprived me of many potential girlfriends for too long! In addittion it is wrong to believe that women shouldn't take charge!


QFT



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29 Jan 2010, 6:15 am

It's a stupid "rule"; whoever wants to ask should ask.


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29 Jan 2010, 9:02 am

I think it is a matter of confidence really. I see nothing wrong with a woman asking a man out whatsoever. However, I did it once in the past and got rejected. That's the only reason why I have never done it again since as I don't tend to take that kind of rejection very well.



Homer_Bob
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29 Jan 2010, 9:40 am

I hate that rule also and a rule like that alienates most socially impaired guys chances. I think there should be no general rule. I think whoever is more interested is the one who should ask and that both sexes should ask equally.



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29 Jan 2010, 10:13 am

There was a thread here a while ago on a similar topic, but I can't find it.

My opinion, simply put, is that I have no problem with a girl asking a guy out in general; I'm sure it works in some cases.

As far as I am concerned though, if a guy is interested, he can make the first move. If he's not interested, then why would I want to go out with him?



PlatedDrake
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29 Jan 2010, 10:44 am

Heh, it was my mother who asked my father out, and to date, they've been married almost 32 years. He's an engineer with a mathmajor/chemistry minor and she's a speech pathology major/drama minor. In a psychological sense, its more plausible for a woman to do the seeking (given that she's the one who'll do the child bearing, so she has the right to choose a "father" who is compatible with her interests/persona). Hell, look at some of the other life forms: if a female doesnt like the male, she's allowed to eat him or fight him off (course it helps that the females of many other species are larger than the males). Granted, a lot in our society assumes that a guy who doesnt ask a woman out is likely gay (since apparently ASDs and other mental diagnosis' dont exist/count), so peer pressure tries to take hold. Hell, I'd be shocked and giddy to all hell if a woman showed direct interest in me, but thats the randomization of personalities for you.



Lene
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29 Jan 2010, 10:56 am

PlatedDrake wrote:
Heh, it was my mother who asked my father out, and to date, they've been married almost 32 years. He's an engineer with a mathmajor/chemistry minor and she's a speech pathology major/drama minor. In a psychological sense, its more plausible for a woman to do the seeking (given that she's the one who'll do the child bearing, so she has the right to choose a "father" who is compatible with her interests/persona).


My parents were the same; I think my mum even proposed to my dad (or at least announced she was engaged much to my dad's suprise...). They love each other and it does work for them, because my mum seems ok with doing most of the work in the relationship. I don't think girl-asks-guy relationships are necessarily bad, but it does take a certain kind of girl to make it work; you need a lot of self-confidence and stubborness for a start. I've been in a relationship with a guy I asked out myself, and would probably not do it again (although, I guess never say never).



BetsyRath
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29 Jan 2010, 11:21 am

RhettOracle wrote:
If my wife hadn't put the moves on me, I would not have been married to her for going on twelve years.

She wasn't aggressive or anything, but she did make it clear that I was the person she wanted to have a relationship with, and why. If she had been more subtle, and waited for me to make a move, I probably wouldn't have picked up on it, or made the move. She made it feel like the most natural thing, ever. And it is.


Yes, this is pretty much what I did with my husband too.


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Grisha
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29 Jan 2010, 11:27 am

I think the women making the first move as kind of unsettling, probably from some sort of silly masculine pride.

All I need is for a woman to give me a clear, unambiguous "green light" and I will quickly make the "first" move.

I think this is actually how it works much of the time anyway...



BetsyRath
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29 Jan 2010, 5:09 pm

Well in my case - - I sent an email telling him I would like to spend time with him for something more social than him fixing my computer, and I was attracted to him. I think he also wanted to make the first "move" but I had to completely pave and red carpet the way for him.


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TheMidnightJudge
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29 Jan 2010, 11:18 pm

Yeah, it'd certainly be easier that way wouldn't it? Girls sometimes ask guys out. But not often enough.


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