Aspie & complete mental blankness for the last 5 1/2 yea
Hey guys,
I'm new to this forum, I finally registered after viewing this forum for a long time I've been diagnosed (two times, 1st + 2nd opinion) with AS. The last 5 1/2 years have been and are still hell after a severe trauma. I have complete mental blankness 24 hours a day with depersonalization + derealization included (which makes me completely numb). I have no clue what I'm thinking, it's like i'm mentally exhausted. I became from a person who replaced the professors in university to a complete idiot. The AS centre who diagnosed me the 2nd time said that my intelligence is my problem. I think my lack of being a social, funny person is more the problem, thats why I'm too focused on myself and ungrounded.
Does anyone with AS recognize these problems? It's so scary, I feel like in a nightmare.
Hugs,
Johan
hi, welcome---
well--here's my disclaimer: i'm not diagnostician (but i do have ptsd.)
have you had a ptsd diagnosis? it sounds like "brain fog," which can take place after a severe trauma, and it does sometimes happen in ptsd. (it doesn't sound like intelligence is the problem.)
Thanks for the replies guys. In my opinion brain fog and dp/dr have to do with hyperventilation which was brought on to by fear. Of course, getting rid of the fear would solve it, but that's almost not doable, so I'm trying to get rid of the hyperventilation which gives a person more energy (and which I also think would cure someones depression and other mental deceases).
I also doubt it has anything to do with intelligence, though I think it would be a lot easier to believe in yourself when you have a mediocre intelligence.
Pfff, I feel so stupid because of this mental fatigue/blankness. I really wonder if it has anything to do with AS, but I highly doubt it. Before I got this I could stop my thinking rationally and would get energy because of that, now all I want is have my thoughts back
Is the constant mental blankness really just called brain fog or is brain fog more like slowed down thinking?
I thought of PTSD, but also on schizoaffective.
_________________
-- 'A man is fine when he believes in himself, in others, in God and in the world'
I have Asperger's Syndrome. About three years ago I thought I got this girl pregnant. Everyone said I was delusional--at least everyone except her said I was delusional. She didn't say anything actually. But after I got hospitalized and misdiagnosed the first time with Bipolar I disorder and Schizophrenia I felt a mental blankness. I attribute it to the antipsychotic drugs I was forced by my medical practitioners and excessively controlling parents to take. I was a biochemistry major at Cornell University. Now I'm just a bum.
hi--i hope you don't mind if i respond. (i'm not drcoltranejr., lol.) but treatment for depression helps mine somewhat. i take an ssri (fluoxetine/prozac), and i find i feel less "foggy" when i take it. it's probably best to see someone who's good with both ptsd and AS, though. (barring that---see one specialist who knows about AS and one who knows about trauma and its effects---and see if they'll coordinate.)
that would be my two cents, anyway... i'm still low-income, so can't afford AS diagnosis---go to a local community guidance center for ptsd issues. but it helps. that's all i can say.
I had before I started the gluten free diet. Contrary to popular belief, it does not magically cure your autism. But it does help clear up that "brain fog" in people who are allergic to gluten (not necessarily autistic). You never know if it will help you until you try it.
_________________
Leading a double life and loving it (but exhausted).
Likely ADHD instead of what I've been diagnosed with before.
did you have a head injury? or neurological damage? No one is qualified to help you over the internet but it just sounds like you need help from a specialist or some kind of second opinion...it sounds like you are not getting the help you need from the people that are supposed to help you.
What about other factors like environmental toxins, (carbon monoxide leaks from cars or in home)?
Just trying to think of some things that might be contributing....
Question: Has your psychologist ever brought up the term "dissociation"? What you're describing sounds somewhat like that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder
But if you've had it your entire life, you might also get the aforementioned psychologist to test for inattentive ADHD. If you do indeed have a high intelligence, it could have been masking the ADHD, since a very intelligent child can get very good grades and still be severely underachieving.
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
thanks for the replies guys! I don't know if I could have ADHD. I would think more of ADD since I don't have the energy someone with ADHD has. I tried Ritalin to see if it would take me out of my head but it doesn't. Also I'm quite sure it is depersonalization or dissocation and when you are a NT'er you can get rid of it more easily (simply by making reality more fun, by doing a lot of fun stuff), but even when reality was more then good enough for me it only dissolved for two weeks. It's very weird, my psychiater said that he never saw me depersonalized, but i'm probably masking it very carefully (as i'm masking everything my entire life) and also that he never saw me without thoughts because he said it's because of unconsious living. I had multiple companies while having this, I went to clients while having it, I was quite a positive strong person but still with no thoughts whatsoever.
I'm now simply walking a lot in the forest to ground a bit, and I feel my body a little bit more, so I will just continue doing that, also I'm trying to stop hyperventilation because I think its the cause of depersonalization.
I guess the most horrible thing is having depersonalization in combination with AS is a really bad combo, because with AS you're more eager to be in your head constantly (which creates DP).
I'm not 100% certain that I have AS, but I do have DP that's quite severe most days. Multiple times a day I find myself saying in my head "this is actually happening, I'm actually here" either out of surprise to find myself actually in that situation, else as a kind of mantra to remind myself that I am actually in that situation. Sometimes it helps to get up and move around and try to really be in the moment, but sometimes it makes it worse because I feel like I'm floating. It's really terrible, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
_________________
My dream is to one day know what my dream is.
~Michael Novotny
What kind of activities do you regularly do? This is kind of total speculation.. but it seems like a lot of people on the spectrum spend lots of time in virtual worlds, like the Internet, video games, books, their own heads, etc. This applies to me too. But when I do this too long, I start to feel blank and lost, and all my thoughts are fuzzy and unsure. The only thing that revives me and stabilizes my thoughts is spending time in the physical world. Doing physical jobs with tools, going on hikes and interacting with the environment, or going to restaurants and having real conversations with friends... these interactions with the real world help my thoughts feel much more solid and real.
I don't know, it's just something you could try maybe. :3
_________________
"You gotta keep making decisions, even if they're wrong decisions, you know. If you don't make decisions, you're stuffed."
- Joe Simpson
Intense physical sensations can sometimes pull people out of it--you know, like eating spicy food, or listening to loud music, or whatever. Not that it works forever, usually, but it can help.
_________________
Reports from a Resident Alien:
http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com
Autism Memorial:
http://autism-memorial.livejournal.com
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