Attachment disparity

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Doe anybody find that they often have a much deeper attachment to a person than what is reciprocated?

i.e. you'd consider someone a close friend but they consider you just a friend or you'd consider them a friend but they think of you as more of an acquaintance. for a more specific example maybe you'd give them a Christmas card or invite them to your birthday party but they wouldn't do the same.

This has been a very common problem in relationships that I have held.

It probably has to do with social skills, or lack there of, or how folks with Aspergers deal with emotions. I have noticed that I do this with people, especially those I admire or would like to be friends with due to a life achievement that someone has made.

On the other hand, I notice that I have been cold with people, sometimes those that I am clicking better with than the person that I am infatuated/obsessed/ interested in friendship with. I don't understand why I put my focus on one person, especially when there are those that I put off that I can have just as meaningful relationships with.

Last edited by passionatebach on 02 Feb 2010, 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have the opposite problem. I view most people as acquaintances including those who consider me to be a close friend. It isn't that I don't like the person, I just don't feel the attachment I think necessary to label it as a friendship.

Yes, in both directions; those I consider friends do not always reciprocate, while those I have no attachment will at times seemingly act as though I am some familiar friend.


M.

This. There are only a handful of people who I consider a friend.

I've discovered that I have no real friends. Folks I thought of as friends were just acquaintances.

Now that I've realised that I can't help but feel a little foolish. In the past I've been very badly treated by people I thought were friends. I've decided it's not worth the hassle anymore.

I know what you mean. I just received a wedding invitation from a person I view as an acquaintance and only see on chance occasions where we have a nice conversation but nothing I would really thing of as a friendship and yet a couple I felt I was quite close to, went on holidays with gave birthday and Christmas presents to, invited to my 21st and even lived with (one of them anyway) didn't even invite me to their engagement. People can be so confusing.

I have some close friends. I probably think about them more than they think about me. It's not surprising - I'm obsessive.