fingerprints (indentations) in sandwiches

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ARGH! ok background both my son an I have AS

Son asked for a "white chicken sandwich with catsup, lettuce and tomato."
OK I am happy that he has branched out for a ninth food item he will eat, so joyously I make the requested sandwich. Unknowingly, I left fingerprints (indentations really) in the top of his sandwich while slicing it in half. This caused: meltdown, refusal to eat it and storming around for the rest o f the evening, b/c I was supposed to ask first!
OK, my reaction, calmly tell him that next time I will not leave said indentations. Then I tell him that I am not fixing anything else.
I don't know what else I should have done. He is 11 and has never had a meltdown over this before.

ARGH!

It sounds like you handled is as well as it could be. You appoliged, agreed to be more careful in the future now that you know its a problem, and moved on.

Its so hard when they have meltdowns. Maybe he was overwhelved by something that happened earlier in the day and held until he was safe with you. Its hard to tell. I know sometimes my 13 year old doesn't know why he loses it.

Gentle hugs to you!

BeeBee

The boys I work with have to make their own sandwhiches because they get so picky. The only time I do make them a sandwhich is if they beg me. Except one time one of the boys asked me to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich, and when I did he yelled "I can't eat this the peanut butter is on the wrong side of the sandwhich." He was teasing me..............everybody's a comedian. But thats because one time that incident actually did happen with another child I worked with, so I just turned the sandwhich over............and he ate it, go figure. So ever since that happened I tell my boys, "Make your own sandwhich." They all know that story and say I need to get over it. Yet they are soooooooooooo picky themselves, I don't need the aggravation, so they can make their own..and make me one while they are at it.........Yeah right.

at least he'll eat foods that touch each other

We're in meltdown central here! It doesn't matter what I do, I never get it right. I think you handled the sandwich situation right. That's the way I would have done it. I like Paula's idea, too. J makes his own breakfast, but now he has meltdowns over what kind of cereal or oatmeal I buy, or he'll have a melt down because he wants eggs instead when he know I don't have time to make them...I don't know why he is acting like this at the age of 10. We certainly have not raised him to be this way.

Doesn't everyone know that the peanut butter goes on the bottom slice and the jam goes on the top slice?


That's one quirk I don't have and really don't understand. There are some foods I don't like to see touching for practical reasons (foods that you eat with your hands shouldn't touch things that will drip) but I learned to not only allow foods to touch but sometimes insist on it. I won't eat mashed potatoes without gravy, for example. Maybe it's because my mother fed me a lot of soup and stew when I was young.

That does not count for me becuse those things are supposed to touch I like them too but if they are not in the stew, say potatos and beef I don't want them to touch if seprate dishes.

With the children I work with, once they have a melt down thats it, their request are denied untill they calm down. Can't reason with them when they go there. And if the request they want can't be possible and they melt down, oh well. Alot of times they go to this power struggle manipuleted mode that we just can't help when with, they have therapist for that. So then there are consequences plain and simple. But before we go there, with the therapist we work out a plan on how to avoid them and what the childs responsiblilty is to prevent them, and how to calm themselves down before it hits. And if it's unavoidable how that child can pull themselves out of it. Because sometimes nomatter what we do, there's going to be one. If they lash out and hurt someone one, or themselves, if they become distructive, or start awearing, then they get in trouble. they know this. But they are allowed to go running, they can hit their pillows, they can tear paper, go to their rooms and yell if they want to, exercise, write,play music, just depends on the child. One of my boys would take a long bubble bath, another one would clean. One size just dosn't fit all. But they are not allowed to make others a victim of their melt downs. Sometimes they just need to talk, and they can vent. But they have to be appropriate. they learn, takes along time but they do. Hope this helps.

We are working that BRT protocol with my youngest son (breathing relaxing technique) and it is working well. Just waiting for my other son's behavioral psych referral to go through and he will receive home services with his brother.

Thanks all for the encouragement and words of wisdom. I left the sandwich on the counter until later that evening and he just went to bed without eating or another word about it.

Hey---I side with your kid on this one. I have an autie/aspie 6 yr old and I am an aspie. When my food touches, I have learned to eat the parts that are not affected. That way you don't offend the person who made you the food. I don't "clean my plate," but it is better than puking!! !

Exactly! I do have a few exceptions to the food touching rule, but those were introduced as ONE dish. I do not like wet things to ramble over my plate. Dry things can touch. (For example, fries and chicken nuggets.) But I do not want the juice from my corn to touch my roll.
Please try to avoid telling any child like this that all of the food goes to the same place. I was sick for days after the first time I heard that.

ALSO---my husband's family are food mixers. I nearly threw up the first time I witnessed meal time at their home. I was literally unable to eat. I have learned not to watch others eat.

Oo yay, you've explained it perfectly! Though certain things can be mixed all together - like rice and curry. I HAVE to mix them thoroughly. I went through a stage when I had to mix mashed potato and sweetcorn - now I much prefer mashed potato on its own, sweetcorn on its own. Though if something's going to be mixed, it has to be thoroughly mixed! (And nothing soggy that's not meant to be.)

exactly dry things are okay but juicey stuff no way