Getting over anger

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In the past my husband was very oblivious to lots of things, most of which centered around housework, raising the children, and figuring out what to feed the kids. I tried to point things out nicely, then pointedly, in a whole wide variety of ways, but it took him years to catch on. (He was also drinking alot at this point. ) Granted, our isssues were a bit different. He, literally, was raised winters in a barn and summers in a tent, so housework to him is a bit different than to most people. I am severly allergic to dust mites and mold, so actually doing housework was (and does) make me seriously physically ill. I fed our kids healthy stuff, they were always sick, he kept saying stuff like "stop being so hard on yourself, its a phase.. etc." Turns out the elder child is seriously intolerant of gluten and somewhat lactose intolerant (she seems to do ok with goat milk).

NOW - After spending nearly 3 years working damnned hard to get my husbands attention and support so that I had the guts to get everyone to enough doctors to do a variety of tests, he finally sees that he was wrong about the diet (in terms of my child) and that yes I do PASS OUT COLD if there is a moldy tangerine in his book bag.

My problem I AM STILL SO ANGRY that it took me so long to get through to him. FOR years and years and years I stopped myself just short of screaming because I didn't think that was how a wife should talk to a husband. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SCREAMING It wasn't until my health was seriously poor due to repeated exposure to dust and mold and my daughter was getting intolerable migraines headaches from the gluten that I did start screaming and he finally stopped drinking, and helped me figure out which doctors to call and how to finance what insurance wouldn't cover.

Why is is that now, when he has stopped drinking and is helping out with the cleaning and stopped trying to get me to feed oatmeal to the gluten intolarnat kid, why is it that I STILL can't let the anger go!! ! I get serious serious tension migraine headaches on a daily basis just thinking about all the things I wish I had said to him earlier.

Whom are you angry with? You state that you are angry at yourself, but it would also make sense to be angry at your husband. Instead of trying to get over your anger, you should be working at understanding it first.

Have you ever written a long angry letter to someone and at the end realized you didn't need to send it? Maybe you could really let loose on paper and then read it and then burn it. Some things just have to be said, one way or another.

I have had extremely HIGH levels on anger,, have been on several different anti-depressants and then got blood tests. My vitamin "D" levels were very very low. Now I'm on 5000 mg of a special vitamin "D" and feel much better. Have you had your blood tested for vitamin B, D and others?

I would strongly recommend learning about Mindfulness if you have not already.
Holding onto resentments is much like trying to box with a brick wall, your the one who gets continually hurt, learning the mindfulness will allow you to move from the brick wall to a punching bag which will then allow you to really learn without damage.

I conclude that pain, sadness, hurt, etc.. all these are as natural as breathing, its the way we react with them that lead to complications or freedom.