Roommate etiquette
12 Feb 2010, 9:57 am
So, I'm moving into a shared house tomorrow after two years of living with my parents and I'm a little confused about what I'm supposed to do in a few situations as I'm not used to living with people I don't know.
1) Should I tell my roommates when I will be out of the house and where I am going, or can I just take off? What is the length of time that begins to merit a notification to them of my plans? A few hours? A day? A weekend?
2) Would it be deemed rude to stay in my room most of the time and not converse with anyone?
3) Should I ask if it's okay to have members of the opposite sex over to stay the night without the intention of having sex?
4) Should I ask if it's okay to have members of the opposite sex over to stay the night with the intention of having sex?
12 Feb 2010, 10:29 am
Dear leschevalsroses,
I shared an apartment with three students for four months during my semester abroad, and maybe it was similar to your situation.
1) I would tell them if you are away over night, for a weekend or more so that they don't worry, but not if you are just away for several hours during the day.
2) I think staying in your room most of the time is okay, but maybe you should drink coffee or talk with them once a week so they don't have the impression that you are hostile towards them. But it really depends on the others (maybe they are happy to be left alone) - so just see what the others do! While living in the student flat share, I kept apart from the other students most of the time, but in retrospect, I should have talked to them more because they were really nice people.
3) 4) The question if it was okay to have someone to "stay the night with/without the intention of having sex" seems very peculiar to me. If you have or have not the intention of having sex is your decision and shouldn't concern others. I would simply ask if it's accepted that someone stays over night.
12 Feb 2010, 12:27 pm
I shared an apartment with three students for four months during my semester abroad, and maybe it was similar to your situation.
1) I would tell them if you are away over night, for a weekend or more so that they don't worry, but not if you are just away for several hours during the day.
2) I think staying in your room most of the time is okay, but maybe you should drink coffee or talk with them once a week so they don't have the impression that you are hostile towards them. But it really depends on the others (maybe they are happy to be left alone) - so just see what the others do! While living in the student flat share, I kept apart from the other students most of the time, but in retrospect, I should have talked to them more because they were really nice people.
3) 4) The question if it was okay to have someone to "stay the night with/without the intention of having sex" seems very peculiar to me. If you have or have not the intention of having sex is your decision and shouldn't concern others. I would simply ask if it's accepted that someone stays over night.
Thanks so much, this is exactly similar to my situation: I'll be abroad too (leaving tonight ah!). Yeah, I probably didn't word 3 and 4 right. What I mean was, if it's okay to have someone stay the night will it also be okay for my boyfriend to stay the night? I don't know, when I had roommates my first year of uni, everyone got all weird about the prospect of another roommate having sex. Plus since the landlord lives in the house, I feel a bit weird about the whole thing.
But yeah, I'm taking a day trip the day after I get there and will be gone until late that night, so I wasn't sure if I should give them a heads up or not.
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