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sartresue
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05 May 2011, 3:04 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Twirlip wrote:
I must say, I'm getting quite confused by this thread! In my first post in it, at 10:41 a.m. on Tuesday, I stated plainly enough (or so I thought!) that I am myself transgendered (or gender dysphoric, or whatever term best expresses my particular state of gender confusion and ambiguity). So, if I am being insensitive to trans people, then I am being insensitive to myself. Which is, as I said, not impossible. (I have spent a long and painful lifetime being insensitive to myself, by trying to placate an alien society which does not even appreciate my self-destructive efforts on its behalf.)


What I understood you to say is that your sex is male but you do not identify with male as a gender, and thus changing the gender field to say "sex" would allow you to select male without worrying about your gender.

This is an expectation that I believe is fairly insensitive to transgender people in general, even if individuals identify in some way with their sex assigned at birth, although I understand now you did not intend that expectation.

Twirlip wrote:
I know I'm hopeless at expressing myself, but I think that if you are willing to painstakingly re-read my carefully (if still badly!) composed articles, you will find that I am already as aware of these problems as anyone could be, but I just haven't communicated my thoughts and feelings effectively.


That or I didn't read you clearly.

Verdandi wrote:
Just to clarify some more (I hope!): I was not suggesting the addition of a 'sex' field. I was suggesting the renaming of the existing 'gender' field to 'sex', because that is in fact the sense in which the word 'gender' was already being used. I seriously thought this would simplify the discussion, because confusion and heated argument seemed to be resulting in part from the ambiguous use of the word 'gender' sometimes to mean simply physical sex, and sometimes to mean psychological gender. In saying that, I am not implying that either physical sex or psychological gender is a simple matter of M/F. I am just saying that whatever confusion and ambiguity there already is in the subject is only going to be further compounded if one word is continually being used with two distinguishable meanings (each capable of further subtle definition). I proposed using one word for one meaning, another word for another meaning. It was almost entirely a linguistic proposal. I was not strongly advocating any particular policy. In passing, I did state my (mild) feelings about various different possible policies, but nothing I said will make any sense if my main point, about the ambiguity of the word 'gender', is not explicitly addressed. No one seems to have either accepted or rejected it, so it is perhaps not surprising if my contributions on the whole have only caused confusion, instead of clarifying the discussion as I hoped. If confusion continues, I will simply conclude that I am out of my depth in some mysterious way, and bow out .


I use gender to specifically mean "psychological gender," not sex. For some reason everyone uses "male" and "female" in gender fields (where "man" and "woman" would be actually correct). I think of the two, physical sex is actually less important, unless a particular individual feels it is more important.

My objections to using "sex" instead of "gender" are that it leaves the psychological (or possibly neurological) aspect out, and leaves "other" out as an option, as you basically get "male" and "female," maybe "intersex" (which I am not sure about as a category in this context), and "none of your business." People will pick what they identify with, as no one is forced to select whatever they were assigned at birth, but it primarily pushes things back to what my own suggestion was to move away from, which was to give people more actual options than male or female, or at least an option that says "other" to accommodate people who don't identify strictly with either and would like to be able to say they don't identify with either. Basically, I wanted to get away from the idea that "male" and "female" are the only real options.

Mysty wrote:
Would that person really prefer to be called "it", as if they are a thing rather than a person, rather than choose male or female for pronoun purposes?

Personally, I will never call a person "it". That's offensive. If "he" or "she" doesn't work, there's "he/she", or "they", or "the person", or (when given) repeat the name, and maybe other possibilities I'm not thinking of that leave the person being a person.


Torako said in another thread that yes, that person prefers to be called "it." I know of another person who uses "it" as a pronoun. While I would never label someone "it" against their will, if that's what someone asks, I'll certainly respect it.


Gender obscura topic

I have seen the use of Ti (it spelled backwards). Some dignity here. "It" refers to an object, non-human. :? Sad, really. :(


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Twirlip
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05 May 2011, 5:16 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Twirlip wrote:
I must say, I'm getting quite confused by this thread! In my first post in it, at 10:41 a.m. on Tuesday, I stated plainly enough (or so I thought!) that I am myself transgendered (or gender dysphoric, or whatever term best expresses my particular state of gender confusion and ambiguity). So, if I am being insensitive to trans people, then I am being insensitive to myself. Which is, as I said, not impossible. (I have spent a long and painful lifetime being insensitive to myself, by trying to placate an alien society which does not even appreciate my self-destructive efforts on its behalf.)


What I understood you to say is that your sex is male but you do not identify with male as a gender, and thus changing the gender field to say "sex" would allow you to select male without worrying about your gender.

This is an expectation that I believe is fairly insensitive to transgender people in general, even if individuals identify in some way with their sex assigned at birth, although I understand now you did not intend that expectation.

Twirlip wrote:
I know I'm hopeless at expressing myself, but I think that if you are willing to painstakingly re-read my carefully (if still badly!) composed articles, you will find that I am already as aware of these problems as anyone could be, but I just haven't communicated my thoughts and feelings effectively.


That or I didn't read you clearly.

Twirlip wrote:
]Just to clarify some more (I hope!): I was not suggesting the addition of a 'sex' field. I was suggesting the renaming of the existing 'gender' field to 'sex', because that is in fact the sense in which the word 'gender' was already being used. I seriously thought this would simplify the discussion, because confusion and heated argument seemed to be resulting in part from the ambiguous use of the word 'gender' sometimes to mean simply physical sex, and sometimes to mean psychological gender. In saying that, I am not implying that either physical sex or psychological gender is a simple matter of M/F. I am just saying that whatever confusion and ambiguity there already is in the subject is only going to be further compounded if one word is continually being used with two distinguishable meanings (each capable of further subtle definition). I proposed using one word for one meaning, another word for another meaning. It was almost entirely a linguistic proposal. I was not strongly advocating any particular policy. In passing, I did state my (mild) feelings about various different possible policies, but nothing I said will make any sense if my main point, about the ambiguity of the word 'gender', is not explicitly addressed. No one seems to have either accepted or rejected it, so it is perhaps not surprising if my contributions on the whole have only caused confusion, instead of clarifying the discussion as I hoped. If confusion continues, I will simply conclude that I am out of my depth in some mysterious way, and bow out .


I use gender to specifically mean "psychological gender," not sex. For some reason everyone uses "male" and "female" in gender fields (where "man" and "woman" would be actually correct). I think of the two, physical sex is actually less important, unless a particular individual feels it is more important.

My objections to using "sex" instead of "gender" are that it leaves the psychological (or possibly neurological) aspect out, and leaves "other" out as an option, as you basically get "male" and "female," maybe "intersex" (which I am not sure about as a category in this context), and "none of your business." People will pick what they identify with, as no one is forced to select whatever they were assigned at birth, but it primarily pushes things back to what my own suggestion was to move away from, which was to give people more actual options than male or female, or at least an option that says "other" to accommodate people who don't identify strictly with either and would like to be able to say they don't identify with either. Basically, I wanted to get away from the idea that "male" and "female" are the only real options.

Excuse me for just AOLing the whole of your reply to me. I did attempt to reply point-by-point, but it was wearing me out and driving me nuts, so I will simply say that you are caricaturing my suggestions beyond recognition. How could you POSSIBLY think that I was saying I want to "select male without worrying about [my] gender"? How many times must I reiterate that I am transgendered, therefore (a) OF COURSE I worry about my gender (frequently to the point of being suicidal, in fact), and (b) on pain of logical absurdity, I cannot be "insensitive to transgender people in general"! For the sake of my already fragile sanity, I will not be reading any more of this thread!


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05 May 2011, 7:57 pm

Verdandi wrote:
Mysty wrote:
Would that person really prefer to be called "it", as if they are a thing rather than a person, rather than choose male or female for pronoun purposes?

Personally, I will never call a person "it". That's offensive. If "he" or "she" doesn't work, there's "he/she", or "they", or "the person", or (when given) repeat the name, and maybe other possibilities I'm not thinking of that leave the person being a person.


Torako said in another thread that yes, that person prefers to be called "it." I know of another person who uses "it" as a pronoun. While I would never label someone "it" against their will, if that's what someone asks, I'll certainly respect it.


I would not. Just because someone asks to be treated like an object instead of a person, doesn't mean I'm going to. I won't disrespect them just because they ask it. And I realize that they might not see it as disrespectful, and might not see it as referring to them like they are an object instead of a person. But they aren't the person I'm talking to when I'm using 3rd person pronouns (they, it, she, he). If the person I'm talking to sees "it" as something that refers to objects, not people (as, I think, most English speakers do), then to refer to someone as "it" is treating them like an object, in my opinion. I would do my best to respect their desire to be gender neutral, but not that way.


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Verdandi
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05 May 2011, 11:32 pm

Twirlip wrote:
Excuse me for just AOLing the whole of your reply to me. I did attempt to reply point-by-point, but it was wearing me out and driving me nuts, so I will simply say that you are caricaturing my suggestions beyond recognition. How could you POSSIBLY think that I was saying I want to "select male without worrying about [my] gender"? How many times must I reiterate that I am transgendered, therefore (a) OF COURSE I worry about my gender (frequently to the point of being suicidal, in fact), and (b) on pain of logical absurdity, I cannot be "insensitive to transgender people in general"! For the sake of my already fragile sanity, I will not be reading any more of this thread!


I am sorry that I misunderstood what you were saying in your original proposal or why a sex category instead of gender would make it easier for you. I still don't understand what you are saying and I have gone back over your posts twice now (once earlier when you told me to, and once just now). I am not commenting on how you wrote it, but rather how I am reading it - or rather, failing to read it.

I was not trying to caricature your argument, and I am sorry that I did.



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09 May 2011, 10:29 am

There are 2 genders: male and female. There is not male, female, and Aspie. There is just male and female.
You are either male or female. If you was born with a penis, you are male. If you are born with a vagina, you are female.

I am born a female. Not liking shopping or make-up doesn't make me any less of a female. When women reach the menopause, they lose some of their female hormones. Their periods stop. They sometimes grow facial hair. Do you hear people call them ''a third gender''? I don't. They are still women.


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09 May 2011, 10:53 am

"Can't we get you on Mastermind, Sybil? Next contestant - Sybil Fawlty from Torquay. Special subject - the bleedin' obvious."


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Bethie
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12 May 2011, 11:41 am

Joe90 wrote:
There are 2 genders: male and female.

Male and female are sexes, not genders, of which there are far more than two.

Joe90 wrote:
If you was born with a penis, you are male. If you are born with a vagina, you are female.

If you define "sex" by one's genitals, yes. That of course means someone born with abnormalities resulting in little discernible genital featuring, or with the genitals of both sexes are respectively sexless or two sexes simultaneously.

Of course, we know that sex is NOT definitively determined by genitalia, which are but expressions of sex chromosomes.
Even chromosomal makeup is not definitively-determinative of sex, either, as there are several sex chromosome disorders,
some where sex chromosomes are opposite their usually-corresponding genitalia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome
and many more wherein they severely affect or halt the development of sex characteristics:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_chromosome_disorders



Most importantly we in addition know that there are chromosomal (usually corresponding to genital, though not always) / neurological mixes in which people often have a brain type more characteristic of the sex they identify with than with their birth sex:
http://jcem.endojournals.org/cgi/conten ... /85/5/2034
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11826131
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_o ... archtype=a

Joe90 wrote:
I am born a female.

That is a sex.
Joe90 wrote:
Not liking shopping or make-up doesn't make me any less of a female.

That is a gender role.

Joe90 wrote:
When women reach the menopause, they lose some of their female hormones. Their periods stop. They sometimes grow facial hair. Do you hear people call them ''a third gender''? I don't. They are still women.

Naturally, because none of those characteristics are criteria of being one sex versus another.



For the people incessantly chanting: penis, boy, vagina, girl-
you sound about as ignorant scientifically as the homophobes with their "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" catch phrase.


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13 May 2011, 4:08 pm

Joe90 wrote:
There are 2 genders: male and female. There is not male, female, and Aspie. There is just male and female.
You are either male or female. If you was born with a penis, you are male. If you are born with a vagina, you are female.


Please don't mischaracterize what people are asking for in this thread. I don't think there's a general desire to equate "Aspie" with a gender.

Gender is not so simple as being defined forever and always by what a doctor announced at birth. There are a lot of realities that people live with well beyond your simplistic deconstruction.

Quote:
I am born a female. Not liking shopping or make-up doesn't make me any less of a female. When women reach the menopause, they lose some of their female hormones. Their periods stop. They sometimes grow facial hair. Do you hear people call them ''a third gender''? I don't. They are still women.


Whether or not anyone likes shopping or makeup or any other stereotypically feminine or masculine traits or activities does not define their gender, obviously. And many who do not identify with the gender associated with the sex they were assigned at birth have to make this argument over and over again because people who do identify with their sex and gender assigned at birth seem to assume that it is about superficial things like which toys you choose to play with or which clothes you want to wear.

It's great you're comfortable with being being a woman. But don't assume that everyone is like you. Just like not everyone is autistic, not everyone deals with gender in the manner you seem to expect.