finally got a diagnoses-what now??

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natterjack
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28 Feb 2010, 5:39 pm

After much battling with the nhs, we finally got a diagnoses for my 12 year old son, he is officially asperger, yet is showing no interest what so ever, i know hes not in denial, yet seems completely unable to look at the issues he does have, and only wants to accepts his talent like his extremely high intelligence, which he seems to use to cover over his lack of social skills and organisational skills, sadly hes still busy telling me i dont even know him, and that at school hes completely different one of the most popular boys in school- so why is he never invited anywhere or has no phone calls, i believe he has some friends at school, but a few things he says make me wonder he he is the butt of the jokes, is he being laughed at and not laughed with?? At home he shows a definate niavety regarding lots of social issues like 12 year olds go out at midnight in to town, and wont believe me even on telling him it would be illegal, i wonder if he has a total lack of awareness or he does know and it would be to hurtful to even admit, Will he come round one day and embrace his aspieness or could he hide from himself forever, i just want to help him, any suggestions are very welcome.....



harry_j_83
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28 Feb 2010, 6:32 pm

how long was it since the diagnosis? from what you wrote, it seems to have been a recent event: if this is the case, it might not be surprising that he's not accepting of his condition yet. The diagnosis may have been quite a major revelation to him and it will take time for him to reevaluate what this exactly means for him. Also, your son is just 12 and like most people of his age, is entering adolecence. A lot teenagers will be in denial about who they are : its just a process of exploring one's own personality which amounts to wisdom and experience in the long term.

I can understand your concerns about the kind of people he might be seeking company with. unfortunately, this is the general problem of the modern world from what my parent's generation have told me: loss of the notion of the community etc... i think (but i might be wrong) your son may need to be involved in some kind of outer-school activity where he can do something he's good at and will feel rewarded by. i think that this sort of thing has certainly helped for me

i hope this may be of help.



psychohist
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01 Mar 2010, 1:03 am

The diagnosis doesn't change who he is. Why not focus on the positives, like his extremely high intelligence, rather than on any negatives? If he's as intelligent as you say, a little social ineptness won't hold him back in the long run.



matrixluver
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01 Mar 2010, 3:47 am

how are you approaching this with him? what exactly do you expect him to do? this isn't a choice he's making to be a person with autism...