I'm a screwup

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It seems all I ever do is screw up whatever I touch. Every group I join, I wind up leaving or being kicked out because of stuff that happens. Recently, I angered a guy in a mod team I am a tester for. He was dogpiled with comments because I commented about how the documentation needed completion on the tracker. He wound up getting pissed at me because of it. He was one of the few people on that team that I was cool with, and I pissed him off royally at me. This seems to be the same story wherever I go, no matter where I go, no matter what I do, I find a way to get everyone pissed at me, and it's even caused some groups to fall apart in the process. Several gaming clans I was in I got kicked out of because of various reasons, and various forums have turned to hating me. Everywhere I go, no matter what I do, it seems I can't do anything that won't get me hated.

(yes I'm about to make a reference to an anime, but it fits the situation) Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just become a hermit and live in a cave, or the alternative. Does anyone have any ideas to help me prevent screwing up?

I know nothing of your situation so I can only offer a couple of thoughts that come to mind from my own experience.

1. I often feel like I have screwed up royally even when I haven't screwed up at all. There have been times when I have worried myself sick only to discover that no one was particularly concerned. If you don't get feedback from others it is common to exaggerate the sense of having screwed up in your own mind. Everybody screws up every now and then. Screwing up is an inevitable part of life. It's what you do after you screw up that matters.

2. If you screw up, apologize. Work at being clear and honest, but polite. But since that doesn't always work out, in the times that you do screw up, quickly let people know that you realize you have made a mistake and that you regret it. One point about apologies; they mean nothing if you keep making the same mistakes. If you do screw up and you apologize, try real hard not to make the same mistake. If you keep doing the same thing, even though you apologize, people will realize the apology is empty. I try to be very polite and considerate of other peoples feelings and I still make frequent mistakes, but generally I get along well with people because they can see that I am not avoiding responsibility for my actions.

There is, of course, the problem that Aspies are more prone to make certain kinds of mistakes repeatedly. When I find myself in a situation where I am making a comment that is not going over well, I sometimes will stop myself and good naturedly say "Sorry, it's the Aspergers Syndrome talking." or "My job would be so much easier if I weren't an idiot." The self deprecating humor can help defuse what is becoming a tense situation.

I understand that this may not apply in your situation. It's just the stuff that comes to mind when I think of what happens when I screw up.

I hope this helps,

Lars

I hope things get better for you, and remember...I don't see you as a screw-up.

He was dogpiled with comments because I commented about how the documentation needed completion on the tracker.

i dont see anything wrong with what you did. maybe he's the screwup, not you.