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danmac
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04 Apr 2010, 10:09 am

as we get older we teach ourselfs some of the cues but are still lost on the rest.
I'm wondering if there is a list of social cues like a video showing them one at a time.
they tell you about them and leave it at that,if there second naiture to normee's then making a list should be easy and explaining them in a video should help people see at what level we miss them.
I know some (crossed arms,looking away,standing too close)but I'm lost on intentions.


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Willard
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04 Apr 2010, 10:49 am

Sorry, there are hundreds if not thousands of myriad combinations of movement and posture and eye dancing and small noises that make up nonverbal social cues. You could read a book on body language - those were quite popular for a while during the 70s - and that would give you a basic starting point, but you just have to pick these things up gradually by experience. For most people, they absorb these things in infancy. For us, it's an arduous, ongoing process - like a detective piecing evidence together one clue at a time, until a clear picture begins to emerge. I've never found a shortcut, and a lot if it is still mysterious and baffling.



danmac
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04 Apr 2010, 11:07 am

first bill hicks is my god and preacher(athistmyself)
second I could read up on it but I don't think words will help me much with this


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ASgirl
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04 Apr 2010, 11:13 am

when i was browsing Amazon.com, i am sure that I came across a book or maybe two that set out social cues. i can't quite remember the names/authors of the books but a "asperger's" search on Amazon will probably give you the answers.



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04 Apr 2010, 1:18 pm

I read this book a while ago, it's called 'The Nonverbal Dictionary of Gestures, Signs & Body Language Cues' by David B. Givens. I found it pretty helpful and interesting. I think all the material from the book is available from the below linked to online resource. Recommended reading for all aspies.

Nonberbal Dictionary

Oops, sorry I just read your post and you say you don't want book style material. I'll just leave it here for others who might like to look.


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CockneyRebel
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04 Apr 2010, 2:11 pm

I've been told by many people to just ask people a lot of questions, and than talk about what the speaker is interested in. That's all that I was really told.


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04 Apr 2010, 5:38 pm

Not long ago I noticed my boss at work, when he's listening to someone speak, he'll bow his head slightly and turn one ear slightly toward the person he's listening to. I began emulating this, as I thought it was how he was showing that he was paying attention to the other person.

Now I've realized that he probably does this to get his ear closer to the other person because his hearing is bad from 40 years of punk concerts and performing in bars.

Unfortunately what started as emulation of my boss's body language has become a slightly embarrassing habit. :oops:


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