Aspie with PTSD

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Hi, I'm new here. Have bundle of problems. Anyone with mildish Asperger's have experience dealing with severe ptsd?

Welcome to WP!

Typical Aspergers, and diagnosed PTSD in 1995.

Symtoms ease in time. Will be happy to discuss what you feel a need to.

Sharon (NC / USA)

To WrongPlanet!! !

Well, I've had Asperger's all my life, was mild enough to cope with, even allowing for an abusive childhood and little support. The problem is that I was raped again recently, badly, and, although I've dealt with that situation and the resultant ptsd, my Asperger's seems to have gotten a lot worse as a result. I'm trying to understand the relation between the two. Also, I don't know how to fit this in to the forum, I feel very lost and alone.

You clicked on "New Topic" instead of replying on the thread, so I moved your text here.

What you're describing isn't very "mild" at all, perhaps you've been around people who minimize your plight... subjugating you to abuse and no support. That alone (people and their ill-judged NT opinions) will cause serious issues. When you're abused and taken advantage of, you learn to suffer with it in silence, because you've been conditioned to. I know, having been there myself through some of what you describe.
The Psychiatrist told me that if a child is raped, and has no therapy/supports in place, especially from family and friends, the victim may come to believe "Something is wrong with me. People used me so cheaply and discarded me." allowing for self-hatred, guilt, shame, and other negative self image to creep in.

Have you had counseling for your rape trauma?

Not only the recent episode, but the past?

If not, I highly recommend it. I seriously received no justice when the crime was committed against me (statutory rape), I wasn't allowed to question. Being Aspergers, I tended to take people at their word, and when people I trusted told me "there's nothing that can be done," I trusted them. I also formed the belief, my life, my body "wasn't worth justice". My own family knew, and did not take the report to the police. Instead, they chose to brush it under the rug... they made decisions for me.

Aspergers have difficulty in areas of advocating for themselves and meeting their needs.

When I was around 35, having made friends beyond the scope of family... I began feeling free to question. I made phone calls to the Sheriff Department enquiring on legalities of the crime. When one of the perpetrators learned I was questioning authorities, and that a Deputy had confirmed the person I speak of was an accessory, that same night, he committed suicide. Believe it, or not.

Immediately, I sought out counseling (again). I had been there before, through counseling in past years... but never for rape. Not once did they think to ask, "Did you ever receive counseling for rape back when you were a teenager." Had they asked, I'd told them "No."

At abt 35 years old, I was receiving rape counseling for a crime that took place around 20 years before. It was the best thing. There were too many things I had never thought to question, or know legalities (putting the blame where it belonged: on the predators). I had been listening to the wrong "witnesses" -- whom, according to the Psychiatrist, were not witnesses at all, but were children at the time, not even present at the scene of the crime -- they were in another room of the house, they saw nothing, and their version of the story amounted to what they'd heard adults saying throughout the years... a false memory and "testimony". He was experienced in the area, and knew how to help me sort out the pieces and put the past, in the past where it belonged.

You need that peace of mind.

you're probably correct that i didn't receive enough help for what happened as a child. the problem is that when i finally went for help, bad things happened. it got a lot worse that's not enough to say, i don't know the right words to say.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Reliving the experience... this is quite normal for PTSD.
Painful memories / feelings surfacing... PTSD is the ongoing fear the traumatic experience is happening again, or will happen again.. when it isn't.

But what when it _does_ happen again? Very rare that it would, of course we both know this. But the exaggerated fear it will happen again... now its happened to you twice. Your world probably feels really out of control. That's what (or at least partially) it sounds like you're saying.

You really need to be in counseling. Maybe it would help if you wrote down your feelings -- written words always helped me to better organize my thoughts, where I could later verbalize them.

As for Rape and PTSD, the chances of lightning striking the same place, two time, is slim.. but it can happen (yes, many women are raped more than once in their lives), but lightning striking three times in the same place isn't quite as likely.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, even though you feel that way:

"Thirty-nine percent of rape victims in the NWS had been raped more than once...
... victims said that they had been sexually assaulted more than once.
- Bureau of Justice Statistics, (1998, Dec.) National Crime Victimization Survey."
- musc dot edu/vawprevention/research/sa.shtml

[PDF] Victim Assistance and Sexual Assault Program (VASAP)
"Federal statistics show the characteristics of convicted persons categorized as rapists...
36% of the women raped reported being raped more than once...."
- montgomerycountymd dot gov/.../sexualassaultmythsandfacts.pdf

You should assess what you can do to take greater precautions and protect yourself, where you're not pre-disposed to their predatorial behavior.
But you definately need counseling, because a couple bad experiences like that, can certainly paint every person you meet as being a "potential rapist" (Aspergers and PTSD are not a good combination and I have had both for years).

I couldn't even bring myself to go out on a date, until the man who instigated my being raped, committed suicide in 2006... and it still took years to more fully put it out of my mind, and move beyond it. He was alas, dead and would never torment me again. I received counseling for the rape, and healing did not come immediately.
Yup, I spent 10 years in isolation (2000-2009) after 2 failed marriages during the (1990's) prior decade, and those two failed marriages had a lot to do with bad judgment, from a combination of Aspergers and PTSD/Childhood rape trauma.
I didn't even seek counseling, until the first failed marriage, which was excessively abusive... and upon doing so, I was diagnosed PTSD, but I know, both problems had been there since being raped during my childhood.

When you see your counselor, you really need to push questions, because if you don't... they won't know to ask you the right questions. You'll slip through the cracks. Aspergers tend to not know the right words, how to verbalize things, to judge if a question / issue is "important enough to raise" -- and therefore have trouble advocating for themselves.
But you've got to find the way to recognize what your own fears / actions / behaviors / feelings are telling you down deep, acknowledge those things... write your observations out on paper, and force the questions with your counselor, or the underlying issues will never receive the acknowledgement they deserve.

Hello Wuffles, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!