How can I gain control of my facial expressions?

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Right, I'm going to watch a movie and before you know it, I pull a frown without knowing I'm doing it.

The last time I went to the movies and I had a frown on my face and I was also in a good mood, I scared the daylights and I've upset my girlfriend and it hasn't been the 1st time it's happened, it's been many of times.

Now I just want to stop it and I don't know what to do, I'm alright other than that, it is only when I'm concentrating on something or watching a movie I seem to not have the control of my facial expressions, what should I do? Because I don't want to make the same mistake for the next time I decide to go back to the movies.

I feel your pain man. My friends always used to say I looked unhappy/angry even though I didn't feel bad (although sometimes I did, of course). Thankfully, as time goes on you do learn and people say it pretty much never now. It does take some effort to try and consciously observe yourself externally....but as with most things it just takes time. I found it helpful to actually say to people who picked me up on it that I 'felt fine'...and if no-ones around and you feel yourself frowning just say it to yourself, you sort of condition yourself after a while.

I've gotten this all my life too.

I can be walking through a store and I'm concentrating on what I need to find there and someone will approach me (someone I know) and say "Oh my gosh what's wrong?? You look like you're going to cry!" or 'You look mad - are you okay?"

I have NO idea why I appear that way. Inside my head I'm fine, just thinking hard about things.

Maybe I am showing outwardly that I really don't like being in the store - not my favorite place - and don't like being around people so even though I don't FEEL angry or sad, maybe I actually am and it all just shows on my face.

I've been told my whole life that every thought I have shows up on my face. It's a funny thing to say. But it means whatever I think or feel is broadcast to everyone who is looking, I can't lie, I can't play poker, etc. funny that I don't get those same messages when I look at most of them. That part seems unfair.

When I appeared on the news, I posted it on youtube and posted the video on a forum to show I was on the news. I got "Why are you smiling during the autism protest?" I said I didn't even know I was smiling.

Sometimes my husband will ask me what's wrong when there is nothing wrong and he says I looked upset. When we first met he kept misreading me and I wasn't sure if it was him or me. He said he had troubles with people too.

Kids used to tell me in high school to smile.

My ex used to ask me how I was feeling but I think he had that issue of recognizing feelings because I saw him asking his friend the same thing and I felt relieved. It meant it was him, not me.

Yeah it can work the other way too when you get caught smiling or even laughing at the wrong moments, although sometimes I just find stuff funny that noone else does

Very very true. I've had that happen so many times.

I've also been 'caught' having the wrong expression because I focus on a different thing. Someone in my family was ill and my boss knew about it and the next morning as I walked from my car to the office (which was a pretty long way) it was so sunny and warm and beautiful outside, birds and flowers and just an unusually nice spring day and apparently I had the nerve to be smiling when I entered the building. I was thinking about the beautiful day.

My boss saw me and said oh so and so must be all better now? I stuttered as I shifted gears there and then said, No, not really in fact he may have to be hospitalized we don't know yet. He said "but you were smiling so you must not be too worried about him"

That's been years ago and it still stays with me. It made me feel bad and confused because it sounded as if I didn't care that the person was ill or didn't care about the person at all. Of course I did, and when I went back to thinking about that situation I felt concerned and sad (he was fine after all - after a week or two).

Kramer on Seinfeld has a great line when he asks George to get more cuban cigars from Susan's father and George says "You burned down his cabin with them! I can't ask him for more" and Kramer says "What does one thing have to do with the other?"

That line has come back to my mind many times. In the case of the beautiful day vs a sick relative, what does one have to do with the other? Do all NTs just blank out and stay angry or sad or upset all of the time if one thing in their life is not going well?

I would think that's more of an AS trait - focusing on something to the point of obsession and blocking everything else out.

@OP:

Sometimes my face unconsciously does what a character or imaginary observer
in the movie feels. I tend to frown at sitcoms where everything is going wrong and
I do not like to watch them, so the only one I can recall is Seinfeld, even though it
is not the worst example.

Addressing the OP question, maybe you could practice facial expressions with
a small mirror and a video player if that can work for you, but I just thought
of that and haven't tried it. If you pause on an expression you notice, you might
be able to practice it in the mirror. Just an idea though.
Don't practice from bad examples.
I mentioned video because it has context clues to the meaning of expressions.
Maybe there is a book about facial expressions that might be better.

I actually really like that idea of practicing in the mirror but I think I should practice while watching a movie, I've told my girlfriend about it already but she doesn't remember it and I warned her last time but unfortunately I ended up getting her upset, I think I should tell her before the movie starts.

My biggest problem socially with my facial expression is when my face smiles or laughs because I am disgusted, terrified, grieving, upset, or a huge number of other things besides happy. Of course "only smile when you're happy" is only true in some cultures. But that includes mine. So people think I am happy in terrible situations and then act like I'm being immoral.

I can control it if I think about it, but if I am focused on something, it isn't that easy. The simplest thing to do, when you catch yourself doing an 'incorrect expression' is to default to a blank expression, then go from there.

I don't have a blank expression

I actually learned alot by watching - of all things - america's next top model. I learned how to create a face (practiced a little in the mirror) that was good for photos. Now I can usually default to my photo face if I have a couple moments to realize the photo is going to be taken.

I frequently get the "what's wrong" from others, especially if I zone-out in thought or I'm concentrating on something and forget my "people face" and let my expression go into autopilot. My wife thinks I'm hiding my "feelings" and will start to probe to find out "what's wrong" no matter how many times I've told her, "if I say nothings wrong then,
1. nothings wrong,
2. somethings wrong but I haven't figured it out yet"
Usually my emotions are simple and easy to figure out, the emotions maybe delayed; the typicals I know have really complicated nuanced emotions that seem like they would be exhausting to me.

People ask me what's wrong, all the time. Either that, or if I'm sad.

If the film is any good I will get sucked in, as for the expressions I dont bother trying to control them. Yes I understand I often make faces that dont fit the moment I but I don't really care because i know how I feel about the moment for the most part.

I have a neutral facial expression that looks pretty grumpy. But then again, so does the Queen. So do lots of people.

As for how to get control of it, it's a matter of putting some of your conscious attention on maintaining the facial expression that you want. Actors do it all the time on stage.

But be warned, it's tiring. Dedicating part of your attention to posture and facial expression means that you have to expend energy on those tasks. I maintain that one of the reasons that social engagements tend to be fatiguing for a lot of Aspies is that we spend a lot of calories on the concious effort that we need to keep track of things (like our posture) in these situations.

i can control it when i know i have to, like at job interview or when i have to make a very good impression. however, most of the time i apparently look sad. i always have people telling me to cheer up, random people as i walk down the street, as well as friends and family when i am with them but not talking. i am not sad, just in deep thoughts. i don't frown though, just poker faced.