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Xelebes
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20 Apr 2010, 9:29 am

My younger brother was found dead by the police yesterday in his apartment. He hung himself five or six days ago. The police wore gas masks as they entered his room. He was only 19.

He was the first one in my family to be diagnosed with Aspergers. He struggled throughout his life and when he realised the closest he would ever get to living his life-long obsession, following roads, was through vicarious means through Google Maps and maps he collected, he saw no other alternative.

I know it has always been difficult for him to express emotions - always leaving us to guess whether he was sad or happy or in between. It wasn't that he always tried to hide his emotions, he was just always unsure how to express them. Not knowing he was deciding on ending his life has hit our family hard, but I know I couldn't have seen it coming from the way he was acting. No elation, no depression. Just a "little down" from the best we could tell. All we could tell.

I'm so sad to see you go, Jon. I will always miss you. Good bye.


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shukri
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20 Apr 2010, 9:53 am

Sorry to hear about your loss. I think a lot of us have been in that bad place at some time or another - for me it's been a constant struggle since I was a teenager. I can't say anything that I think will make this any easier for you, but, I think that if you're looking to mark your brother's passing by sharing it with people who can relate to it, this is as good a place as any. Strength to you and your family.



ja
Snowy Owl
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20 Apr 2010, 10:08 am

That's devastating



Lene
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20 Apr 2010, 12:28 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother's death. I hope you and your family have all the support you need. I'm glad that you are aware that you probably couldn't have told what he was thinking; it's really important not to blame yourselves. :(



aspartame
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20 Apr 2010, 12:46 pm

Your post is heartbreaking. I am so, so sorry for your loss. What Lene said is really true: your brother's death is not your fault. I wish peace for you and your family.



SnowWhite88
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20 Apr 2010, 2:03 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. :(



Dark_Red_Beloved
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20 Apr 2010, 2:15 pm

:(

*hugs*



pumibel
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20 Apr 2010, 2:43 pm

OMG I cant imagine what you are going through, but you have my deepest sympathy.



Tetraquartz
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20 Apr 2010, 3:13 pm

Very sad to hear about this, very sorry. Even though I didn't know your brother, it's still devastating to read about it. :cry:


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zen_mistress
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20 Apr 2010, 3:13 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. :(


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Xelebes
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20 Apr 2010, 3:21 pm

Tetraquartz wrote:
Very sad to hear about this, very sorry. Even though I didn't know your brother, it's still devastating to read about it. :cry:


I recommended him to this site a few times but at most, all he ever did was lurk.


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Friskeygirl
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20 Apr 2010, 4:31 pm

omg I am so sorry for your loss Xelebes, this is so tragic. I was born and raised in Edmonton.



Xelebes
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20 Apr 2010, 4:46 pm

Which side of town?


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Friskeygirl
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20 Apr 2010, 8:22 pm

West Edmonton in Primrose, near the mall



Xelebes
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20 Apr 2010, 9:08 pm

Ah, so we would have gone to the same high school then... unless you went to FX.


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