Just a shot in the dark about jerks v. "nice"

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You know, that girl I've mentioned... she's been on and off with a younger guy, I think currently he's 25 and she's 34. Not quite the same, but...
And on the other side, there's that girl I knew from after I had finished the university and was working at the computer lab, she was an intern there, almost 10 years younger than me, and was dating a guy a year older than me, then a friend told me last year he had met her on the street and she introduced him to her husband, a guy around 50 (right now I think she's 32)...
Personally I've been pushing the margins further away, when I was younger I only cared for girls around my age, then with a 2 year margin, then 4... I think it's currently at 8, but since women 8 years older than me probably don't want to (or can't) have children, I'm looking more in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately, it seems as though the only age range of people missing in my life is the set of ages that I would want to go out with. Right now, I'm looking for anywhere between 18-26 (+- 4 years basically), although i would probably push the upper limit up to 30 (or the lower limit down to 17) if there was a really quality woman that liked me enough. But I seriously don't even know anyone in that age range at all. And it's making me lonely and desperate (which translates into a huge turn-off for women).

Is there a reason you picked that particular age range? I know everyone has a preference-- I am just curious. Younger women are generally out to have fun and are generally more superficial (not ALL-- and its mostly due to lack of life exprience). Maybe you could just go out and have some fun until the women that fit your age criteria catch up with you

I only come here every once in awhile and there is ALWAYS a nice guys vs. jerks thread at the top IN ADDITION to the sticky thread "Nice Guys and Love, what's your take on the issue". Sheesh!

Here’s what I always respond: Men who consider themselves “nice guys” usually aren’t very attractive and yet the only women they go for are.

I bet there aren't many of you "nice" guys asking out nice girls who also happen to be fat or who have bad skin or a snaggle-tooth, or who are getting older and showing their age etc.

You want to be judged for who you are on the inside, but that’s not how you judge women.

If you were a nice guy who also was also HOT, trust me, women (nice and not so nice) would be interested. And I also bet that if you expanded your horizons to women who weren’t that “physically” attractive, you’d be dating by now.

I figured +-4 years is a good guideline for someone of my age for a socially acceptable relationship, but as I said, I'm willing to bend a little from that, mostly in the older direction... But for me, the concept of fun as the ends to accomplish in a relationship seems very trite and meaningless. I am one of those guys who desires a real deep connection, someone that I can share my very being with. But I think my emotions run too deep, as people tend to get overwhelmed and scared of me when they see the real me... which is why so many people want to be my friend (since I'm generally friendly as long as you don't push me around), but they still keep me at arms length.

edit: while I don't really get the idea of fun being the reason a relationship exists, don't get the idea that I'm some guy who hates fun and is all stodgy and stuff. I don't mind fun in relationships (in fact I consider it necessary for a relationship to survive), but I don't think that any significant relationship should be based off of it...

Last edited by ToadOfSteel on 26 Apr 2010, 6:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Amen.

FAKE!! !
This all reminds me of why I hated fake love so much! If she dates him because of his social strengths [and not because she loves him], it's FAKE LOVE!! Seriously, I thought I had this figured out. On the other hand, I'm not attracted to anyone right now, so perhaps I shouldn't lose my mind trying to attract others.

False.