Going to pubs, clubs, bars etc. alone?

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Has anyone here ever gone to pubs, clubs, bars or gone out anywhere else alone?

I used to do it regularly. In those days I couldn't claim to have any friends, but naively saw it as a way to hopefully find a girlfriend. Not surprisingly, being on my own put me at an added disadvantage on top of my limited social skills.

Nevertheless I did get to really like the pub scene and especially the nightclub scene, it got addictive and I would go to a nightclub most Friday nights and certainly every Saturday night. My nightclubbing habit started from when I first lived alone in 1996. First time I went to a nightclub, despite my shyness, I was able to approach girls, though my approach was clueless and not finely tuned. It didn't take long until a girl said "F off" to me, I'm sensitive enough that put me off approaching anyone.

In my first year or so of clubbing I did meet people though. Met people who were sorta friends, but the friendships (if I can call them that) came and went. I must say I made plenty enemies too, hardened female clubbers who thought I was a bad fit there and that I needed to get a life.

In the years after that, I really languished, going to nightclubs but never talking to or interacting with anyone, getting up on the dance floor but never finding a connection with anyone, and otherwise standing/sitting alone. Yet I still enjoyed nightclubs, and only stopped around 2000 when things started to get dangerous, no doubt because I was alone and a target.

Have any other Aspies enjoyed nightclubbing, and is there anyone here who has gone out alone to bars/clubs in the absence of company?

I go to a place 1-3 times a month that I am really getting sick of, it has a bar in it. I don't like bars, will not go to one just for the bar.. I use to take walks and go to the same dinner or place every time, nothing in walking distance here.

I'm thinking about going to church instead, how boring, yet the goal was to try and socialize..

I went to the movies a few times..

I don't like going with people let never mind alone. Too much noise ,light,and movement for me

I've found that forcing myself into new situations and not overthinking them previously helps.. Only way to progress.

That's a great idea! Also, perhaps volunteer work is a great way to get out and do this?

Thats what the vocational rehabilitation person said, volunteer work. Also mention entry level positions like working at McDonalds. Then the super size movie guy I saw on the news online said jokes about the intelligence of people working there.

I was upset at that prior to that super size speech, have done volunteer things for a long time or at least have tried to help, I would like to participate in society for real. Using my BRAIN!

I’m more intelligent then most people, yet my thoughts differ too greatly it seems I just don’t fit, I don’t care to. So I am sort of mad. I’m smart enough on my own accord to be considered suitable for higher end pay.

Plus I don’t like busy environments, my brain goes numb in a way. It is very hard to concentrate, there need be a world that is emulative of the mental environment and conditions I can flourish in, not cope with.

Do you have an aspie-induced obsession? Perhaps you can do that for a living somehow?

I just posted this, then corrected the errors.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=12474

What do you mean by "get dangerous"?

And no, I never went clubbing alone. My gut feeling told me that if I ever came to a club alone, I'd be a laughingstock of the entire place. Fortunately, I managed to meet friends, and went to clubs with them. However, it was nowhere near as good as the TV, radio, and people in school hyped it up to be. It was quite the opposite: girls acted like stuck-up [w]itches, and guys acted like obnoxious jerks.

Things got easier after I turned 21. At that point, I could load myself with a sufficient amount of alcohol, so I get at least somewhat numb to the "toxic" atmosphere of a club. It worked well enough, making the setting seem less demoralizing. If I felt comfortable that night, I even ventured out onto the dance floor, where the success varied.

As a general rule, I've always found that people think a single guy in a straight bar is creepy, whereas a single guy in a gay bar is a fairly hot target.

Hmm, I suppose I should be offended then when I went to support a gay transexual buddy who was competing at a gay bar. Nobody hit on me. I actually felt more comfortable there than in a straight bar because I felt disconnected from people, being straight.

Or, I guess maybe they thought I was gay?

I went clubbing for 4 years with no real problems, and no real issues.

But, as Jetson said, a single guy out alone is generally seen as creepy. That's totally true, and that's why I encountered serious danger one night.

People at the club definitely had the impression I was creepy, because after the club closed two guys were after me, with a view to assaulting me. The bouncers/staff at the club noticed this, and brought me back into the building for safety. Meanwhile, probably 20 more people gathered wanting a piece of the action.

The police were called, not because of the mob, but to remove me from the scene so I could then make my way home safely.

Who knows whether I was lucky to be alive, or what was going to happen, serious assault and injury was surely certain. It was certainly the most frightening experience of my life, and I was badly traumatised. It was the end of my clubbing.

This particular club had only just opened, and it soon gained a reputation as a violent club. I think it only lasted two years before the council closed it down, due to the sheer number and frequency of violent incidents.

As much as I like going to clubs and bars, I don't think I could go alone to one as there are too many people and consequently too many as*holes. As a female, it would be wise for me not to go to these kind of places alone no matter how safe they are considered to be.

Me? Go to one of those places alone? NEVER!! !

Why? Like Fiz and Keeno say, there are often too many goons around with attitude. Another trap to fall into are women who pretend to be single and get too "friendly" while there's a surly bf lurking in the shadows.

I've been to one such place with a buddy not too long ago but he was a little too wobbly from drinking and I noticed two guys eyeing us from across the room, so I cut the outing short, walked him out for some fresh air, half-expected them to follow us out, but it didn't happen. It's safer to have two or three buddies to tag along.

And the crowds, loud music, lights, etc... I have lousy enough hearing as it is. How can anyone carry a conversation in there?

No place to meet the other gender and no place to make any friends, especially for a tongue-tied Aspie

That's something I forgot to mention. That's just about the worst thing. I've fallen into that trap before (not at nightclubs), but because it had happened, it was just about the primary reason I was backward at coming forward in clubs.

I dont go there.