I have a hard time in social situations.

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It's been like this since I was a kid. From elementary school up to college, I was hardly social. Even in class, when we were asked to pair up or get into groups, I didn't make the first move. Often, the teacher or professor put me in a group and I was slow to gel with any of the others.

It's not just in school. It's also family-related. I don't know how to interact with my family. We are already going through our share of problems. I haven't even told them that I may be on the autism spectrum. I barely tell them anything about anything. When they talk to me, I only mutter an "okay" or "all right".

On Facebook,, I have even more problems. I have made outbursts there so often that people who I knew in school have DENIED my friend requests.

I guess that I'm just not good at talking to anyone. My cousin has repeatedly asked me to check out "How to Win Friends and Influence People", but I have enough problems with reading. I doubt that book can help.

I'm so confused. I don't know what to do.

Unfortunately I don't have the ability to make you a social butterfly, but I can give you some tips that might aid you in bettering your life.

1. Facebook: Facebook is a fairly public domain. People see what you say. It is also a time delayed domain. You have to think of what you are going to say, type it, and hit "submit". Thus, you should have enough time to consider what you are going to say. I suggest you also spend some of this time considering whether or not you really want to say it.

In other words, there really is little reason for facebook outbursts.

Which leads us to #2.

2. Self initiative: Whether or not you are on the "autistic spectrum" and whether or not socializing comes naturally to you, we all must take some self initiative and responsibility in our lives. For example, if I want friends, I cannot reasonably expect to make them if I stand in a corner saying nothing all the time. I have to make the initiative, to the best of my ability, to go make friends. For me, this meant I had to do a lot of work, because I do have AS, and the rules of social dynamics did not come very naturally to me. I had to take myself outside of my comfort zone and start striking up conversations as well.

3. Talk to your family more: If they ask how you are, they probably actually want to know (as opposed to a lot of people who say it as a matter of politeness).

i initially found facebook socializing easier than "real life" socializing, but after awhile found myself with the same barriers and frustrations. i get upset when people tease each other; i fail to recognize things as jokes; i want to correct everyone's grammar; i don't know how to interpret people's interaction with me and with each other. and i don't know what that emoticon with the P in it (tongue sticking out??) means.

so now i stick to posting something random, making comments that are somewhat non-sequitur, and otherwise just think of it as an address book.