Page 2 of 4 [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

Vanilla_Slice
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Oct 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 515
Location: Hungary

17 May 2010, 2:17 pm

Aspies can lie, we can also speed, park opposite fire hydrants, swear and be horrible to our parents. In other words, we're human.

Vanilla_Slice



ruveyn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2008
Age: 87
Gender: Male
Posts: 31,502
Location: New Jersey

17 May 2010, 3:14 pm

MotownDangerPants wrote:
Aspies are incapable of lying? What do you think? This seems strange to me. I may not always be believable but I know I have the ability to lie. What about someone with very mild symptoms?


Any sane person is capable of interpreting things in a favorable way. Spin knows no distinction.

ruveyn



MrXxx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 May 2010
Age: 63
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,760
Location: New England

17 May 2010, 6:11 pm

MotownDangerPants wrote:

From an article about Asperger's:

The bigger problem, though, is when Mayer tries to paint Adam as some kind of saint whose simple wisdom could guide the world. One of the conditions of Asperger's, it's explained to us, is unflinching honesty—"aspies" have trouble picking up on the subtleties of language necessary for lying, and, again, aren't quite adept enough at social situations to pull that trick off. This is a fact of the condition, but Mayer treats it as a great moral plus on Adam's part, comparing him favourably to Beth's father, who has some skeletons in the closet, and dropping hints about the importance of honest communication—i.e. a relating of "The Emperor's New Clothes" in the classroom where Beth teaches—throughout. Now, I'm a straight, white, middle-class male with no diagnosed mental conditions, but isn't attributing some kind of morality—bad or good—to aspects of a person that they have no control over one of the fairly major things we do to distance ourselves from others? Black people aren't deficient because they have a different skin colour, and people with Asperger's aren't paragons of virtue because they're mentally incapable of lying: they're born that way.

I came across a few other things online also. I think it's ridiculous, yes. I was all excited because I felt like I was fitting in so well and relating to the experiences of other Aspies, and than I saw this and thought, "No way, this isn't me at all".

Just wanted to check with others, I'm undiagnosed, not sure if I have the disorder and don't know much aside from what I've read online.

:wink:


Mayer is a movie directory. "Adam" is a movie directed by Mayer. Adam, of course, is the lead role, and has Asperger's. The character is based on a real individual, but after all, it is a movie, and Mayer doesn't have Asperger's, so the entire film is essentially from NT perspective, and based only on a singe person with Asperger's.

I've seen it, and I think the film's portrayal of Asperger's is far too simplistic. it is a decent film though, in that it does at least bring some awareness of the issue to the general public. It's just too bad that a lot of people will probably come away with the idea that "that" is what Asperger's looks like. It simply isn't true though. We are all as different from one another as NT's are from each other. And that is a point the movie never addresses.

Same thing happened with Rain Man. Millions of folks came away from that film thinking that all Autisics are like Raymond. I saw an interview with Dustin Hoffman, where he explained how he came up with the traits he displayed. I think it was on Inside the Actor's Studio, but I can't remember for sure. What he said though, was that he pretty much "made it up" as he went along, with little to no prior knowledge of Autisitism and how it really affects people. When he did something the director liked, he just kept repeating it. His portrayal didn't come from intimate knowledge of Autistic traits at all. And that's from the horse's mouth.

I wouldn't say there are NO aspies that never lie though.

There probably are.

What I have a hard time accepting is that anyone, Aspie or not, is incapable of lying.

Aspies can learn anything we put our minds to, including how to lie.

I do agree though, that a great deal of us are probably not very good at it. In fact, I think the inverse is highly likely. Quite often, I think, we are accused of lying when we aren't lying at all. That, I think, stems from our usually innate lack of awareness that we aren't sending the right "signals" NT's look for that tell them we're being honest. Lack of eye contact is only one.

Looking away, down and to the left is supposed to be a typical cue law enforcement looks for when interviewing people. To them, it's a cue that dishonesty is at play. Yet I know Aspies who do that all the time when they're being perfectly honest.


_________________
I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...


Francis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2009
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 522

17 May 2010, 8:29 pm

I can lie. In fact, I lied allot as a child. My parents said I was quite good at it becuase I did it in the same monotone non-emotional voice that I always use. So they could never tell. I did it from such a young age. It is something I knew how to do. It is not something I picked up from watching NT people.



Cuterebra
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 361

17 May 2010, 8:32 pm

I hate lying and avoid it at all cost. Too much mental energy to expend, keeping track of all the lies. Life is too short.



aspiegirl2
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,442
Location: Washington, USA

17 May 2010, 10:49 pm

I have some trouble with lying, although I am definitely capable of lying. Sometimes I can be good while other times I'm laughing the whole time. I feel really guilty about lying every time (and don't do it a lot), but it still happens once in awhile. I think it depends what it's about: playing an April Fool's Day joke or lying in a job interview. I think that almost everyone has a varying degree of lying capability: some can hardly lie while others can lie their way out of almost anything.


_________________
I'm 24 years old and live in WA State. I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 9. I received a BS in Psychology in 2011 and I intend to help people with Autistic Spectrum Disorders, either through research, application, or both. On the ?Pursuit of Aspieness?.


ALacount
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 252

26 May 2010, 11:02 am

I can lie rather brilliantly!



Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

26 May 2010, 12:21 pm

MotownDangerPants wrote:
Aspies are incapable of lying? What do you think? This seems strange to me. I may not always be believable but I know I have the ability to lie. What about someone with very mild symptoms?


Everyone lies. Most NTs lie through their assess all the time, for their own benefit or for what they themselves decide is better for others, for example they tell people lies to not hurt their feelings (which in the long term does more damage than just being honest IMO).

But Aspies do it too. We seem to be a little more sincere and honest (generally speaking), but we are by no means perfect.

I lie. NTs lie. Aspies lie.



Ferdinand
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Feb 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,332
Location: America

26 May 2010, 1:02 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I have a very hard time, lying.


I lie well, it's just that I hate it.


_________________
It don't take no Sherlock Holmes to see it's a little different around here.


TallyMan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 40,061

26 May 2010, 2:48 pm

I find it hard to lie. I can do it, but it just doesn't compute in my brain very well. I tend to tell the truth and be damned rather than lie about anything. Similarly if someone asks me a question my truthful reply is usually straight out of my mouth before I've even asked myself why they are asking this question, or do I need to guard my reply and omit anything etc.


_________________
I've left WP indefinitely.


kia_williams
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 124

03 Jun 2010, 7:21 am

*Late as per normal.. Yay!*

TBh i think "Aspies cant lie" is something of an urban legend, The bluntness and literal mindedness are fairly key traits and i suspect the "story" is largely the same.

we're born and "Is, Is." as we(alot if not all) grow up we start to learn the usual lies, albeit very slowly, more slowly than our NT peers, till one day after years of trying to 'fit in' with the majority of the populous we can lie, cheat, steal. (not that we all go ahead and do so, just we learn to).

I think "cant lie" is an exaggeration, more apt might be "On average we're not naturally inclined or easily able to say 'Is, Isnt'."

I define Lying as "purposefully and knowingly providing false data", further refined by the apparent purpose of providing said data, if its amusement/entertainment then its okay (ficitonal writing) or an emergency situation in which the truth is NOT in someone best interest.

Like a few others, i find its too much effort trying to track the lies i could tell, so dont bother.
Are we saints? Ha!.. could we be, ya know possibly.



mikey1138
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2010
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 194
Location: This Island Earth

07 Jun 2010, 7:06 pm

I can lie. If/when I do it, I find that it's probably something arbitrarily fantastical and I probably get amusement out of analyzing people's responses to the story/lie. I don't think I've ever told a very serious lie without admitting to the person later about the falsehood. My wife says I lie, but she can always tell when I'm doing it. My wife is Hispanic, and I had "insider" info that she had never dated a white guy before... so when we were introduced, I told her I was Sicilian. I guess, I said that out of fear of being rejected because I'm full-blown Scandinavian. She didn't find out my family is originally from Norway until we were on a roadtrip back home to my parents' place and I confessed. We've been married eight years now... and my AS (just recently discovered by us through counseling) has been wonderful for our relationship. .........wait, that last part's a lie! :jester:



skysaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 645
Location: England

08 Jun 2010, 4:52 am

dyingofpoetry wrote:

If you ask me what I did today, I can make up any random story off the top of my head that is completely untrue and make it sound very convincing. I can even add details if you want to question it (if I need to cover my butt).


I often used to lie to my parents about the day's events to avoid (or usually just postpone) getting into trouble. The lies were usually prepared in advance.
These days "what did you do today?" is a question I often have trouble answering off the top of my head either truthfully or untruthfully.



rmgh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Dec 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,577
Location: Scotland

08 Jun 2010, 5:46 am

I'm super fantastic at lying. I lie about my sexuality every day.



ShenLong
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,277
Location: With Murphy Freestylin' and Ricky Easy

08 Jun 2010, 9:00 pm

I lie on occassion when it's something insignificant, and I'm good at lying. I lied to my dad about something and even made a very credible story to back up my claim. I held this lie for about a year and a half and then my brother told him the truth.



Kat15
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 597

08 Jun 2010, 11:52 pm

Im not sure if in bad at it because I dont remember the last time I lyed, but I choose not to lie