Physical Attraction - wtf?

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This is just something I've always found really odd. I'm sure I've mentioned it several times, but now I want some opinions on the matter.

I tend to evaluate appearances largely based on my evaluation of the person as a person. That is, emotionally, intellectually, etc. I've even developed a couple physical interests that were downright repulsive to me beforehand just by really liking a girl who had those physical qualities. For instance, I've grown to like significant chunkiness, girls whom are significantly taller than I am, and, and at the most extreme point, even facial hair. Albeit, I don't tend to find that last one automatically attractive in anyone else. That particular girl just had some impossible way of making that feature of herself attractive to me. If she disliked it on herself, I also probably wouldn't like it, but she made a point of not shaving anything, so I ended up growing to like it on her. =S ...

(Although, the girl I mentioned with a bit of a mustache that I liked has never liked me back. Sh- er, he has some gender identity issues, considers himself male, and kind of likes girls, despite being principally against both altering her body and any sort of homosexuality. ... The reason I called him a "her" for a bit is because he lets me refer to him by given name and all, just as his mother would and stuff in private, because I'm a close friend of his, and the reason I'm not editing it is because it would be harder to explain if I had to rephrase it, and he probably wouldn't be too bothered by it anyway, since none of you will ever know him.)

In any case, I just really don't understand why I seem to be the only person I've ever noticed that does this. It's one thing to be asexual, and just not care about physical appearances, but I do have a sex drive. It's just that my interests usually fall in line to the girl with the personality. I don't even have to know her that well yet. As long as she starts to seem appealing, I start to feel some attraction. =/

Does anybody else do this at all? Explain your preferences, and how they work to you. Are they pretty rigid, or fairly loose?

I'm not all that affected by physical traits either. Well, okay, if I'm looking at a picture and i have no personality traits to go on, I'll default to physical appearances, but I won't be attracted to a woman that way because I don't know her. Overall, however, the one thing that instantly attracts me is some sign that the woman is attracted back.

I think this is normal.... at least for people who aren't superficial. The more you love someone (or even like someone... not even necessarily romantically) the more attractive they seem to you. I am the same way. In fact both times I have been in love in my life I started out not finding the person attractive at all (I was nuetral) and ended up thinking they were the most gorgeous person I'd ever known.

I will not say I have not seen people I didn't even know who I thought were attractive. That happens too, but it's a much less intrinsic attraction. In that case I'm attracted to certain features, I don't find every single thing enticing in general. Also if they aren't great people, after I get to know them I tend to find them less attractive.

I don't know if everybody operates this way or not. I doubt it's completely universal because most people I know seem to find a larger quantity of people attractive than I do. There are fewer people I am attracted to and they aren't necessarily the people those around me find attractive. But I think the basic principle must be widespread. Consider the expression "A face only a mother could love." I think a lot (if not most?) mothers automatically find their children to be more attractive than other people's children, from the very beginning.

Beauty is truth, truth beauty.

Lol, I posted myself as a 10, when I actually meant 9. ^^;;... It's not as easy as just simply noting that they seem to be nice and interesting after all. It's close, but there are some traits a person could have that would take a good bit more than that. Near-morbid or morbid obesity, for instance, or being extremely hairy, or (on the much more forgivable side of the other two, IMO) missing a hand or fingers. .__.

Yeah though, I can actually start to develop rapid fondness for a particular trait in OTHER girls, because a girl I liked had it, even though I didn't like it before. My last really serious girlfriend was maybe a foot taller than me. I now immediately notice any girl who is significantly taller than I am, even if I lose interest after getting to know her some.

I think I also just generally tend to think people are attractive physically. There's just something about the human form in general. In all its variations, it has some intrinsic beauty to me, when I think about it. Not too strongly of course, but I feel this way I think at least a little more than the average person does.

If my NT sister met 10 NT guys her age, she could be instantly attracted to, fall in love with, and marry maybe 6 or 7 of them.

Myself, on the other hand, I can meet 50,000 guys and find none of them attractive in the sense that I would want to date them.

I can count all the men I've found attractive in life on one hand, and while I do have a particular physical ideal as far as facial features go, I'm willing to overlook 10 extra pounds. Crooked teeth. Physical disabilities. Acne. Tattoos. Face piercings, and a whole host of other things.

However, of the very few people I actually have found attractive in the way we are speaking of (not so much sexual but as in someone who makes your heart race type way), half of them were nothing like my ideal.

In fact one of them was a short, 300lb Asian guy but I was attracted to him because of his personality.

I think women value personality over looks any day.

Physical:
I like older, large women.

Other physical traits,
race, nationality, 'colour' are
irrelevant.

It is quite hard to find people to like. I tend to like people who have open minds, good hearth, dark humor or some kind of uniqueness. They can be shy and introverted but sometimes the person can be more extroverted. The shape of body does not matter when the personality is awesome. I noticed that i like a cashier at a small shop near home. She looks shy and she has a nice smile. I get attracted to some people but i don't have to start to know them. I only need to see them from a distance to feel great. Usually when i get to know people and learn more about them, i either lose interest or keep liking them in a less obsessive manner. I like both boys and girls. What matters is their personalities. When i like a girl then a man side of me switches on. If i like a boy then the girl side switches on. I consider myself asexual biromantic

Also put "9," because I don't know what the ultimate limit of it is.

But yeah, if the feeling of connection (or whatever to call it) is intense, everything else becomes a 'soft' criterion.

I put a 7 because although I don't require a set of traits, it's not like they are not important to me. I prefer to make my decisions on a case-by-case basis when it comes to a person's looks.

I'll say a 5, there needs to be a balance.

I seriously do not understand physical attraction. Is it how attractive a person looks or is it the attitude the person has about their appearance I'm more attracted to people who are nice & who do not place importance on their looks. If a woman is showing off certain "features" & is trying to get guys to buy her drinks or do some kind of chore or something even if she has a great body; I find her more unattractive than the girl who seems completely unconcerned with her looks even if most people would find her ugly because of her weight, glasses, pimples, short hair ect; I would not find her ugly if she's nice. If this makes any sense

I'm a definete 1!
I'm extremely shallow when it comes to how a woman looks. I'm only attracted to how women look. I can often be turned on by just their makeup or their hairstyle. I like skinny, artist/goth/metal women age 18-37 only.

For me the distinction between physical attraction and personality attraction isn't clear cut enough for me to assign a number to it. When you look at someone you're not just seeing their physical shape, but catching a snapshot of their personality from the way they carry themselves, their expressions, their smile, their body language, their choice of clothes, etc. I'd still file those things under "physical attraction" because they're visual, but the source of those traits is personality. In terms of the attractiveness of a potential partner, these extras can make a person with an average static physical appearance much more appealing to me than someone with good looks alone.

That is very true Leander, and you make a good point. I'm not sure how to incorporate that fact though. I do know that these things can effect responses from me more often than not though.

I posted myself as a 3, mainly because I've had the experience to know better. Personality can make up for many physical defects, but when it comes down to it, looks still matter.

I still want that long dark hair, and an average body type. I don't mind a few scars, because I have some of my own. Same goes for Acne. The best way to describe it, is that I'm looking for a female version of myself, on both personality and looks.

Research shows that this is actually a very healthy, very natural approach to dating, so I'm not all that worried about my approach, or trying to defend myself. I know this is normal, and medical research points to it being normal, so I'm pretty content with how I'm handling things.

The odd thing is that skin color is one of the few things I don't care about. That doesn't seem to be very common near where I live, but it's slowly seeping out. It's just one of those things that seems like it's going to take a while.

3 here. I'm not quite THAT picky, but a girl has GOT to have something for me to work with. True, I'm not exactly a catch myself, but my woman has a thing for big guys.

My wife is a female, idealized version of myself. Sure, age and children have had an effect, but she's still stunningly youthful and GORGEOUS. We have a very strange, complimentary, almost brother-sister relationship, but that never would have sparked without some kind of physical pull in the first place.