Question for members who are "straight"

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AnonymousAnonymous
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24 May 2010, 8:23 pm

Would you date someone who you know is gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender?

Why or why not?

Members who are LGBT, please kindly contribute.


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astaut
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24 May 2010, 8:42 pm

I wouldn't date someone who is a lesbian, because I'm not a lesbian :lol:

I don't think I would feel comfortable dating someone that was bisexual. I had a friend who dated a bisexual man, and I'm not basing this on that guy specifically, but since being around that couple I have put myself in her shoes in thinking how it would be to date a bisexual man. I would probably feel differently if say, I was married or with a man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life and he announced to me that he was bi. I can't really say what I would do since I've never been in the situation of dating a bi person, but I'm just guessing.

I've never been clear on the meaning of transgender. From what I understand it means someone who doesn't identify with their gender identity. Not having a clear understanding of the word and not knowing an actual person who is transgender, I can't say what I would do.



Brioc
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24 May 2010, 8:45 pm

As I am not gay, I would not date someone who is gay. Similarly, I would not date a lesbian because she would not be interested. I would date someone who is bisexual. I might hook up with a transgendered person, but not date.



Hector
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24 May 2010, 8:56 pm

Dating a man (by birth or otherwise): well, I'm straight so no.

Dating a lesbian: but then, would she really be a lesbian? If she was, what would the point be?

Dating a woman who is bisexual: sure. Unlike some men I am dead against involving another woman, even for a one-off threesome. So what significant difference would there be than if she were straight? None that I can think of.

Dating a pre-op transwoman: no, the sex would be an obstacle.

Dating a post-op transwoman: I would have some reservations, just wondering what sex would be like more than anything else. I don't know much about the operation, so it's kind of fear of the unknown on my part. I can imagine possibly being reassured, but things might be difficult at the beginning. My family, from what little I've gathered, may also be less open-minded than I am. And finally, all of this is presuming that she does not look or sound like a man to me whatsoever, because if she did that would be a major turn-off.



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24 May 2010, 9:17 pm

I would date a bi girl, no problem.

As far as transgendered, I'm not totally sure. If they're only partway done, probably not. If they're are a complete woman, possibly - It's a decision I've never remotely had to face, but I imagine it would depend on how much I liked the person. That is the whole point, after all, right?


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Hector
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24 May 2010, 9:21 pm

If I like the person a lot, it's even more difficult to let them down by then turning around and breaking up with them. It's more or less why I wouldn't "experiment" with a man, I feel like even if I was game to "experiment" I'd get tired of it very quickly. And it's a big part of why I'd be wary of dating a transwoman, even post-op. I'm afraid of finding out that I'm just not getting what I want, and that there'd be nothing they could do about it.



Last edited by Hector on 24 May 2010, 9:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Epilefftic
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24 May 2010, 9:23 pm

I am a heterosexual male. When I see an attractive female my pupils dilate, face becomes flushed, hands perspire slightly and blood begins to fill my penis.

This is the prerequisite to romantic dating. It has happened with women of all orientations, though never with a man or transsexual. That may be subject to change in the future, in which case I will assess my options and consider expanding my dating pool.

I would however, make a 'date friend' out of any of them. In this case we go places 1-on-1 that can be construed as 'date places' and enjoy ourselves. I have had a gay male date friend.


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hale_bopp
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24 May 2010, 9:42 pm

I've got no problems dating bi-sexual or straight men.
Obviously it would be silly to try to date a gay man

I'm not lesbian or bi so I wouldn't date a lesbian or bi woman.

Is trans-gender someone who has been under the knife and everything?



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24 May 2010, 10:21 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
Obviously it would be silly to try to date a gay man

I find gay men to be quite fun and respectful. The self confidence in 'outed' gays is refreshing. Also gay men buy me drinks all the time, they make me feel attractive.

hale_bopp wrote:
I'm not lesbian or bi so I wouldn't date a lesbian or bi woman.

You just crushed somebody's dreams
hale_bopp wrote:
Is trans-gender someone who has been under the knife and everything?

Trans-gender involved somebody's 'gender identity', sometimes includes cross-dressers and women who feel that they are men, or born the wrong gender. Transgenders can be gay, straight, bi. If they get a sex change operation, then they are legally that gender, and might not be a transsexual anymore.


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hale_bopp
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24 May 2010, 10:39 pm

Epilefftic wrote:
I find gay men to be quite fun and respectful. The self confidence in 'outed' gays is refreshing. Also gay men buy me drinks all the time, they make me feel attractive.


Gay men are great to be around and I'd certainly be friends with or go to the movies with one, but a relationship wouldn't work.

Quote:
Trans-gender involved somebody's 'gender identity', sometimes includes cross-dressers and women who feel that they are men, or born the wrong gender. Transgenders can be gay, straight, bi. If they get a sex change operation, then they are legally that gender, and might not be a transsexual anymore.


I don't think that would work with me, again, i could be friends with them but I'm attracted to men and masculinity, not men who feel like women. Cross dressing is ok but wanting to be another gender is another story.



astaut
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24 May 2010, 10:48 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

Is trans-gender someone who has been under the knife and everything?


On wikipedia it says someone who doesn't relate to their assigned gender, but could include transsexual (which means undergoing a sex-change surgery). The article is here. But I am also confused as to what it means.



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24 May 2010, 11:41 pm

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Would you date someone who you know is gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender?

Why or why not?

Members who are LGBT, please kindly contribute.


My orientation is really confusing :? I'm a guy who some people assume is gay but I'm attracted to women thou some of the women I like are lesbians who most guys would not like & I'm sort of a borderline asexual; I'm looking for love & if sex would be required early on we are going to have problems. I do NOT think sexual ordination is black & white. It's a spectrum. If I could find a woman who who was actually interested in me & she would not place high importance on sex & would not cheat or anything; her orientation would not make a difference. If this makes any sense at all :?


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25 May 2010, 2:22 am

AnonymousAnonymous wrote:
Would you date someone who you know is gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender?

No.

Because I am straight, and even in the case of dating a bi I would forsee trouble on the horizon.


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Daemonic-Jackal
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25 May 2010, 4:28 am

Having dated a bi-woman who then ran off with a bi-male friend of hers, I can safely say, I would never date a bi-woman ever again if my life depended on it.


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25 May 2010, 5:31 am

I'm a guy and I dated a female bisexual for some time. I'm not willing to say anymore because that would break a promise.

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25 May 2010, 6:40 am

I'm a guy, but I COULD date a bisexual woman or a lesbian if one were so inclined. I could NOT handle going out with another guy nor a transgender. That idea is just repulsive to me (no offense--I've had hard enough time in my life finding girls who weren't repulsed by ME, so trust me, I'm no great loss!).