My problem with most of the Asperger's Syndrome books

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Almost all the books I see in stores on Asperger's Syndrome are about one thing. How to "cure" or how to "change" the person with AS. We are who we are. How about more books on accepting us and not changing us. The only reason NT's want to change us is because they are scared of us. More books about accepting us and less about "fixing" us, please.

I agree, We are people with personalities. NT's are people with personalities. Why should we change just because we are different to them?

So mote it be.

Well I can count on one hand the amount of books written by aspergers for aspergers

and Luke Jackson doesn't count

The only real book ive read of relevance lately is the aspergers book on disclosure because it dealt with a very serious and complex issue. Though it had alot of differnt view points and came at the issue from many differnt aspects and opinions as a whole book it feels very choppy and disorganised, but then im not expecting something very professionally done as the money simply isn't there to publish something like that

There's a book I got last year called Pretending to be Normal: Living with Asperger's Syndrome by Liane Holliday Wiley. It's a rather informative book (IMHO), and one I would put in the category of by Aspies for Aspies.

The reason why I came to this forum is to find some answers to make my life easier socially and I have found some, they are not a cure for Aspergers but if they were any, I would surely take them. It is nothing to do with not excepting myself or not liking myself. I might think differently if I had some romance in my life but I guess I don’t, so that is why I have to do something.

I am not going to worry about the fact that I shouldn’t have to change. Changing for me is a full time job and I think that it is starting to pay off. The sacrifices are well worth it, for me anyway. If at any time I don’t like the changes, I can always go back to having bad eye contact, closed ended question, boring girls with science & politics and scratching my nuts in public.

Christ, that was a godawful book.

To find out about Asperger's Syndrome, you're better off talking to people who have it. Not by reading a load of outdated, ill-informed or dangerous books.

I think by talking with other people on the spectrum you get more information than they could put in books. Also, besides being written by NT's, alot of book focus on kids and adolescents which is OK, but I haven't seen much for adults either. Even books about relationships seem to be written by or about the NT woman married to the AS man.

SPOILER ALERT

In my so-far-unpublished novel, "Reality's Crusade," the aspie protagonist doesn't really change even though he absolutely hates having asperger's and uses it as a scapegoat for a lot of his problems with himself. But he isn't given the possibility of a cure, nor does he want one. Asperger's is one of the major themes but it isn't the most obvious part of his character's mental and emotional arc.

And, you know, the aspie book "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" doesn't end with the character having to be cured or changed.

So it's not like all aspie books deal with that.

It's kind of silly to talk about a cure, anyway, when Asperger's is just the way you *are*. You'd have to re-boot your brain and replace the operating system to "cure" it... and that would mean getting rid of all other aspects of your personality, too!

No, I think treatment of Asperger's and autism really ought to focus on fostering communication between the person affected and the rest of the world... help them to understand and be understood without having to pretend that they are "normal". And naturally the sensory issues and any associated learning disabilities need to have work-arounds found...

At the very bottom of things, though, Asperger's is not a disability. It is associated with things that can be bothersome and ought to be dealt with; but the parts of Asperger's that are part of your personality--the logical, introverted, thoughtful nature--are just personality traits, and not problems. Getting rid of that quirky sort of independence from what "everyone" is thinking/feeling/doing that often comes with being an Aspie would be a crime: Society needs its independent thinkers, its geeks, its obsessed enthusaists with one subject or another... We're just as needed as the movie stars and politicians. Probably more.

"Curing" Asperger syndrome is like amputating a leg to get rid of an ingrown toenail--far too drastic a "solution" than ought to be implemented.

I second that.

Yeah because that book has about nothing to do with asperger syndrome and it was only the authors publisher who marketed it that way

First off, what is an NT? A neurotypical person? There can be no such thing, unless there is some specific way that people's brains are supposed to be wired. Even NTs are not wired the same per person, otherwise they'd all act exactly the same. We use the term NT to describe anyone who doesn't have some form of autism, and by using it ... we're sort of categorizing us into autistic types and non-autistic types. This is akin to a hero / villain ideology, which can be very dangerous. We all fault doing it, because it's so easy to categorize everything in our society, and especially in regards to the ways we tend to think.

I don't have anything against therapeutic measures for some Asperger's traits. Surely, we have traits that we would love to be able to get better control of. But, assume it's a balance thing, sort of like on a positive and negative scale. If there is some sort of natural neurobiological equilibrium that nature tends to follow in creating us humans, then that equilibrium will have to be offset if there exists decreases or increases in positive or negative traits. Since we have positive traits, then we're also going to have those negative traits as well. That's how I view it.

So, we have our own obsessive interests, which, if our society actually didn't follow such a hero / villain ideology, could be greatly utilized in benefiting society. Many of us have vast technological and analytical expertise, but it's hardly ever put to use in any beneficial manner. Instead, many of us are pushed further into doing menial work, which doesn't involve the skills we have, but this is only because our social interactions get in the way.

Strangely enough, there are no books around that encourage this sort of thinking. There are none that put emphasis on our most positive traits. Maybe it's about time for all that to change!

- Ray M -

Those positive treats might give use the ability to save the world, or even get money, with a little bit of effort. But at the end of the day, I don’t care for these things. It usually take someone with Aspergers to realise how best to use his own strengths and use them.

I've read a bunch of the books too and they're mostly awful.

I have to second the vote for Liane Holliday Willey. She explains what she went through in college and I truly had my mouth open from surprise while I was reading. SO many similar experiences as I went through. For that alone I thank her for writing that book.

I like Temple Grandin's books.

I haven't found any others though.

:> earthmom

As a parent I really liked Quirky Kids by by Perri Klass + Eileen Costello. There's a lot of emphasis on recognising "odd" behaviors as being OK while at the same time giving you strategies for addressing behaviors that could cause problems for your kid. It was much less about training your child to "fit in" than other books I've read.

Has anyone read A Positive Approach to Autism by Stella Waterhouse? I'm curious if it's any good.