Do you ever feel like you're trapped inside yourself??

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I know exactly how you feel. I've felt it all my life! I don't know why, but I could never really figure out how to put it into words. Your title describes it so simply, I feel kinda stupid for not being able to put these feelings into words.

When I see people interacting with each other, I keep asking myself "Why the hell can't I be that way?" When my friends are joking around and teasing each other and just having fun interacting with each other, I feel bad because I want to be able to do that too, but that part of me is trapped inside because I just don't inherently know how to do it.

I feel trapped, like I'm suffocating, like I'm running into an invisible wall and can't get around it. I want to do things and feel like I can't accomplish things because I start to sufficate and shut down. the only thing that brings a sense of calm is the ocean. I went to school off and on for years and never finished because I would become overwhelmed. I have bad impulse spending and it gives me a sense if high then I crash and go I to stress from being broke. I live in a vicious cycle. I'm tired.

Yes! Finally someone who explains how I feel. I am trapped inside myself and I can't show who I am, I cannot put into words everything that's in my mind and everything I understand. There's an invisible bubble that keeps me from fully participating with the rest of the world, but I am here, inside me. I've tried explaining this to others but they don't seem to understand.

I believe the real me is becoming more apparent now that I have more social outlets. I don't think that I have made the most of myself yet, but I'm working on it.

My therapist asked me what I meant by trapped, it is hard to explain but that's the only explanation I can give. Like there is a plastic bag over the inner me. Social media drives me insane sometime but I look at it for mindless thinking. I always live in my head with scenes from a movie going on but I am the star of the movie and it is usually negative. My therapist stated that it is always negative because of the ptsd. If I could zap my brain and change the negative. Sometimes I am outgoing but that is just me being a little manic and then boom I crash.

I didn't trapped myself. More like I was 'born' trapped inside myself to begin with.

What I mean inside myself, I meant my true self is trapped in my human self.
I don't have much of a social mask to speak of, I barely play the roles assigned to me. The social world and it's "evils" are the least of my worries, nor I 'want' the social world be open to me just because I want or need it no matter whose 'fault' it was.

To me the "world's doors" are crazy -- it doesn't just opens and closes itself. Sometimes I'm a VIP with cheers and all that and may or may not know it, sometimes I'm banned from the party and unknowingly entered it, sometimes it's locked even if I have the invitation, sometimes the door doesn't even exists no matter how many directions I followed, sometimes I stumbled upon it and entirely controlled the whole room, sometimes there's a door I want to get through yet I couldn't so instead I went through a window or have someone else enter it for me. And so on, there are too many scenarios.


It's my mind and will being trapped in my body and it's inherited or conditioned disposition.

My expressions are limited by human language, cultural cues and contexts. And I long suspected in some ways everyone else is the same.
My movement is hindered by my own physical limitations. And I'm far from clumsy or weak let alone handicapped or crippled.
My thoughts and actions are filtered by my brain and biochemistry. One tiny speck of a change, even if it's an ideal one, then countless variables changes.
My understanding of things is muddled by some or most of my past experience and current state as a human.


My core is multifaceted but consistent. My body is just very fickle and sensitive, that I'm known to be very moody and self contradictory because some change happened -- be it ideal or unhealthy.

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Yes, I know the bubble and the glass wall.
Really I think my brain is too slow and I can't be spontaneous around people.
So I'm stuck in my head thinking and analyzing.

I felt that I was trapped inside myself starting in the November that I was 6 until I came out to my parents leaving a very honest message on their answering machine in the June of 2016 about some secrets that I was keeping from them all those years. I called it the trapped German soldier feeling.

earlier posts here mentioned the "aspie glass wall" only in my case the glass is blotchy and opaque in large part, and in the clearer parts has much of the "fun house mirror" optics that confuse my comprehension of external reality with a distorted reflection off of meself, and what does pass through also is distorted.

i feel i am very safe inside my temple of my soul.
i trust myself implicitly, and i am glad to never go out anywhere else.
i do not need to.
i am a recluse in my own mortal coil, and i want to live forever in me.
alas i can not, and then i will sleep forever never knowing the vicious winds of external disdain.

Yes I have been trapped with negative thinking for a very long time. I have been consumed by negativity and dark energy from a young age. I have embraced the Dark side of the force.

I feel this on a daily basis and it can be extraordinairily frustrating. It feels like many things need to be in place before my own personality will become unlocked. And like a key being pushed inside of a lock, every single tumbler needs to be in a certain position before I myself can be unlocked and my personality can show.

My personal "tumbler keys" are represented by the light needs to be a certain way in, certain sounds need to be heard, certain clothing needs to be worn, a certain emotional state needs to be experienced, etc. etc. All of these things need to be in place in order for me to be content enough for my own personality to show itself.

If none of these are in place then I simply clam up and suffer in silence. Does this make sense?

_________________
*** High Functioning Autism - Asperger's Syndrome ***

ADHD, OCD, and PTSD.

Keep calm and stim away.

I remember feeling like this when I was younger, as if I were wearing an invisible veil and unable to take it off. The feeling diminished somewhat in my early-to-mid twenties, when I finally managed to make some long-lasting close friendships. The feeling then diminished more in my early thirties due to some personal experiences with alternative spiritualities.

These days, fortunately, I live with an Aspie boyfriend, with whom I feel free to be fully myself, and we live in a highly multi-cultural neighborhood with immigrants from many different countries around the world, so there's no narrow set of cultural norms we have to stuff ourselves into here. (We're not friends with anyone in our immediate neighborhood, but we're not outcasts either.) This situation helps both of us feel much more at ease and more alive than we could otherwise.

Therapists and psychologists did not understand my unique problems/issues. They made me do things like read some psychological/CBT chapters, analyse thoughts/feeling of situations and deep breathing or meditation. None of those things changed that I am socially awkward, outcast, rejected by society and I have no place in this world. Being socially isolated increases my negativity, loneliness, boredom, resentment and frustration.

Sometimes I feel like I’m trapped inside myself with my family (I can’t talk to anyone else) and it makes me sad sometimes because I don’t know how to let myself out. There was one day last year that I started to really notice it, and I felt like I wanted to cry for a few days after that. I don’t think I’ll ever be different, and I wouldn’t know how.

I talk to them, but they can talk and express themselves much more than I do, and compared to them, I don’t say much. Most thoughts stay in my mind, and I spend my time thinking about lots of different things while I sit there and watch/listen. I feel sort of like I’m a ghost, especially if my eyes start doing something that makes me feel like a camera lens zooming out. It makes me feel like I’m boring.

If I’m writing, it’s different, and I can type or write what I’m thinking much easier than I can say it. I feel like who I am online is the “real me,” and that makes me feel bad because I know I should be like that in person, too. Everything feels unnatural for me. I can’t imagine thinking out loud like everyone else seems to.

On 'bad days' I sometimes feel like this, so yes.

At the same time though maybe look into schizotypy, or STPD to be more specific; what you just said in your post rang a bell with me, it sounds an awful lot like what someone on the STPD spectrum would experience.

Or you may just be posting in the right place, in which case I would suggest looking up "autistic intertia".