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Make a move - don't wait before it's too late ! ! !

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ToadOfSteel
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11 Jun 2010, 10:58 pm

Salonfilosoof wrote:
This sounds familiar. I have those same needs as well and I'm in a very similar situation.

Maybe you should try to settle with just a woman you can get along with. I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're attracted to her. If what you need is a woman to spend the rest of your life with and have kids with, focus on you and her getting along at least at the level of friends. As someone with AS, that's already quite hard to find.
That's the easy part... I can get along with women just fine, and I've found that given enough time, I can become attracted to just about anyone. The hard part is finding a woman that is attracted to me... that's what is in short supply...

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Try some other ways to date women. Try dating sites. Try finding them in online communities. I'm far from the Cassanova I'd like to be but the more I practice the better I get at understanding women and figuring out how they want to be treated.
It's not getting to the dates, it's getting a woman interested in me for long enough...



PLA
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14 Jun 2010, 11:30 am

My whole modus operandi is pre-emptive. My intentions are transparent by deliberation. My interest knows her options.


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billsmithglendale
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14 Jun 2010, 6:10 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Salonfilosoof wrote:
This sounds familiar. I have those same needs as well and I'm in a very similar situation.

Maybe you should try to settle with just a woman you can get along with. I wouldn't worry about whether or not you're attracted to her. If what you need is a woman to spend the rest of your life with and have kids with, focus on you and her getting along at least at the level of friends. As someone with AS, that's already quite hard to find.
That's the easy part... I can get along with women just fine, and I've found that given enough time, I can become attracted to just about anyone. The hard part is finding a woman that is attracted to me... that's what is in short supply...

Quote:
Try some other ways to date women. Try dating sites. Try finding them in online communities. I'm far from the Cassanova I'd like to be but the more I practice the better I get at understanding women and figuring out how they want to be treated.
It's not getting to the dates, it's getting a woman interested in me for long enough...


Women sure seem to like me when I'm a cheerful idiot or unconcerned, rather than when I'm moody or downbeat.



jdcnosse
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14 Jun 2010, 7:16 pm

If I can meet the woman online, then I'm okay. Possibly because online I don't have to worry about reading their non-verbal expressions. I met my past and current girlfriends that way. But I was lucky enough that my current girlfriend had made the first move. I remember that I was talking about her boobs (she's only 17 but has 36Ds) and then she just grabbed my hands and said "why dont you touch them" and she touched her boobs with my hands. I got to second base before first! lol

So I guess sometimes you get the girl who is willing to make the first move. Even though she found me on myspace, and I had chatted with her via text/talking for about a week before we met in person.



Mouldy
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15 Jun 2010, 7:05 am

I made plenty of moves but when the person who your with just stands there like a zombie when you make them then i really dont see the point in it


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Northeastern292
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15 Jun 2010, 8:10 am

I've learned this just year, and boy am I happy that I did!