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MotownDangerPants
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12 Jun 2010, 6:18 am

I've been told that I have one when it comes to emotions and detaching myself from people and situations, since I was young. I guess this is where the empathy thing comes in again, to me this is a defense mechanism but it's also just the logical thing to do. If it's clear to me that I need to detach myself from a certain person or situation that is harmful to me or someone else, I just do it. I don't even think twice about emotions.

I've had to do this with my drug-addicted mother all my life, it's not like I don't feel ANYTHING but if I allowed myself to go there, what kind of a mess would I be? I apply this kind of thinking to other areas of my life, too. I don't know if I always had this way of thinking. I imagine that I did and it just became more pronounced at an earlier age because of my life experiences, but to me it just makes sense. I can't believe more people DON'T think this way, LOL.

It seems like this is how most people should think, at least. Are NTs just skewed toward being irrational? I probably notice this more because I;m a woman and am expected to be all Sisterhood of the Traveling and Pants and stuff, LOL.



Owendust
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12 Jun 2010, 7:30 am

I know exactly what you mean.

I had to do this with my mother for most of my life as well. She's a bi-polar taurus with serious rage issues. For most of my life, I simply didn't allow myself to get upset in situations where I had an absolute right to because it simply wasn't worth it. I truly didn't understand how most people simply let their emotions control them.

I ended up getting hooked on amphetamines for a few years, at which point I suddenly wasn't able to control my emotions in the way that I had always been able to. I've since quit and, currently, I'm at a bit of a middle ground where emotions affect me more than they used to, but not nearly as much as when I was getting high.

That period of my life actually helped me to understand NT's and how it is that they can let emotions rule their lives in the way that they do. Before the amphetamines, I never understood how or why people let themselves get so mad, or make irrational emotional decisions. Now, I understand that they simply have no choice in the matter. In a situation where you or I would be able to detach ourselves, it seems that, for the most part, NT's essentially have no choice in the matter.


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Vanilla_Slice
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12 Jun 2010, 11:19 am

"If it's clear to me that I need to detach myself from a certain person or situation that is harmful to me or someone else, I just do it. I don't even think twice about emotions. "

HELL YEAH!!

I have been doing this for years and I've found it to be one of the best techniques to survive in an NT world. If someone upsets you or you make a fool of yourself then just walk away and start again. I'm going to be doing exactly this in a couple of weeks but the people on the other end don't know it yet.

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Moog
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12 Jun 2010, 11:38 am

MotownDangerPants wrote:
I probably notice this more because I;m a woman and am expected to be all Sisterhood of the Traveling and Pants and stuff, LOL.


Whut? Sounds like a weird nunnery, that.

I think the greatest day of my life was learning that I had a choice in how I reacted to other people. I just switch off what's not useful.


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happymusic
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12 Jun 2010, 12:59 pm

I'm fairly detached as well. People ask me for my advice in touchy situations because of it and my parents made me the executor of their will because they said I don't let my emotions get the better of me. My mom is so sweet, she always qualifies that with, "not that you don't feel anything, you just won't be controlled by it - you'll still be reasonable and be able to do what needs to be done".

I don't feel like I can switch it on and off, though - it's usually just sort of to the off position with most people.



Lecks
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12 Jun 2010, 1:05 pm

I suppose I do this too, though I have trouble turning the switch back to "ON".



MotownDangerPants
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12 Jun 2010, 7:26 pm

Lecks wrote:
I suppose I do this too, though I have trouble turning the switch back to "ON".


I guess for me it's never all the way on, but closer to being on than off. So I can turn it off very quickly and then turn it back on for others but I'm never 100% open with people, i always have that filter when dealing with them so I know when I need to turn the switch off again.



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12 Jun 2010, 8:12 pm

Very interesting. I have always been able to block people out in various ways but I am in the situation of requiring other peoples help at the moment and it isnt going well I just keep getting upset.
Do you think you would be able to control your emotions if you had to rely on other people to help you ?
I am also regularly told that I have two speeds stop and go no inbetween :roll: