Ever feel like your speaking a different language?

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I'm really starting to get mad, my parent both told me that I was going to have my quirks and my habits and that it would be ok, but so far all that has happened Is I have been yelled at, and looked at like I'm a complete idiot. WTF happened to it would be ok for me to have my quirks, my dad dosent even think I'm a man he calls me wuss because I express my emotions I don't even feel comfortable with him any more. I like myself but I'm starting wonder why I'm gettin no where, the only place I'm heard is online here, my therapist just calls everything I think stinkin thinkin, basically I'm thinking bad, last visit he elaberated to me that he dosent have anymore things for ke to do and that every technique he has, has been tried by me and they all failed, he said he dosent have anythig else left for me that will work? OMFG WTF, he is trained in AS thinking and i can't change because my mom won't change, I'm so exhausted from having to corect myself and everyone tell me I'm the one who has to F****in' change, I don't want to change my life was great until I start high school, that's 13 years of joy and fun, now it just misery, sorrow, and anguish. They're suppose to help me not talk about nothing for 3 years, what should I do I'm not suicidal ( pardon me but, it just seem the losers way out of life ), I'm not going on a rampage and start hurting people, but I would love some change someone who could help me in my life.

I'm feel alone and sad, I'm writing on a website forum for help, and everyone says to just wait and things will get better, but I was told that 2 years ago, and here I am a little better but worse in my own way today. The only girl who even likes me is my mom, and I hurt her everyday because she blames her self for my problems, so she cries for a good half hour or so accasionally, I'm the one who suffers not her this isn't her curse to bear. So what happens when she is crying and my dad can't help he comes and yells at me, says Im a wimp and not trying hard enough, now I ask once more two year after asking before what do I do? Please reply ASAP.

Oui.

I only kid. But really, we are all your friends here! *hug*

I know and I should correct my self this is an awesome website, I didn't mean to use it in a bad way pardon me, I'm just desprate.

Cold, brutal possibly unhelpful but..

suck it up, oh the joy of a nice life till 13, i realised i was atypically thinking wise when i was 6, at about the time the beatings and bullying started, the bullying only reached a normal level for school life when i'd hit 14 and learned enough to lie lie lie, with every gesture every facial expression and every word.

The teachers Never stopped, because i was lazy, didnt do my work, i was incompetent, my grades? lets just say of a possible 11 BASIC high school grades i could pass or fail in, i passed TWO.
The why i never explained for fear of being Sectioned (forcefully placed in a mental institution) but it was simple, the education i was getting was in how to change myself to be invisible to the people who liked to smack me around for being too quiet or not looking at them.
Aspergers wasnt even a diagnosis when i was seen over and over by therapist and councillors in school, i had to hit 21 to find out why EVERY person round me on some fundamental level was totally different.

Your mother: EDUCATE YOURSELF and then educate her, do some research and you'll find something out you can show her that its no ones fault, not even your direct blood relatives.

Your father: wait till he starts strangling you in a fit of anger, then there'll be something you can do, fathers are mean, especially too boys, till it goes from his damaging opinion (sorry, that's not a result of your autism, thats just something that goes on in some households), to provable physical abuse, no one can help you on that one.

.

going for harsh again and you wont like this any more than you liked the rest but hopefully it makes you think.

Even the NTs don't want their lives to change, some people are doing the same crappy job fifteen years later because they don't want to change something, don't want to try, don't want to risk.
No one wants their life to change, sorry your situation is NOT exceptional, you like billions of other people autistic and not have dealt with it before, what's so special about you now?

Is it fair we AS's currently have to make ALL the motions, do ALL the adapting, ALL the conforming, no.. but then, its not fair YOU had a great life till highschool and i DIDNT.

helpful, probably not, but you know, theres no magic answer except what lies within yourself. (this might get me serious trouble here)

STOP BEING DISABLED AND START BEING DIFFERENTLYABLED.

Its your choice, you can put in the effort, suck up the pain fight with your last breath to make your life as good as you can accept the morsels of help that come by once in a while with gratitude (cause you might be the only one getting them), or you can sit around and wait for the handouts that probably aint going to come.

I tell myself that English is not my first langauge. My first language is pictures or images but I never tell anyone unless they ask or seem truely truely intrested and open minded because I know they would not have a clue what I am talking about.

I'm sorry but, I get told that by my plenty, I'm just going to be a cold heart,rude, don't care person then, that's the only option I see.

First, it seems like you are fully justified in feeling angry and frustrated. I hope things can get better for you.

Regarding your parents, their behavior is caused by their own ignorance of AS and by their own insecurities NOT because of you. I agree with a previous poster who said to educate yourself and then educate your mom; basically you need to figure out a few different ways of explaining to your mom what you need and why you need it. When you try explaining yourself to mom try to do so in a calm and logical way; yelling tends to cause people, AS and NT, to stop listening. It's likely that you'll have to explain and clarify things multiple times until she begins to understand. My mom is one of the most loving and supportive person in the world, but I still had to explain and remind her why I sometimes act the way I do oodles of time and sometimes yelling was involved.

With regards to your dad his behavior comes from his inability to understand and control your disability; it's his problem. The only thing I can suggest is that you try to ignore is abuse or at least not react to it negatively (i.e.yelling back). You could also have your counselor or another trusted adult talk to him about how his behavior is hurting you. It's taken me a decade to understand and cope with my dads behavior.

Lastly, you might consider looking up a new therapist or asking this current therapy office that you're going to for a referral to someone new if your current therapist has given up. Therapists may be trained professionals, but they don't know everything and sometimes a different perspective is helpful. Also, some can be downright incompetant. I had a therapist who didn't take my major depression seriously and thought I was just having normal difficulties adjusting to college.

Focus on the things that make you happy and I hope things go better for you.

We all care about you.

"If one man calls you an ass(donkey/idiot) ignore him, if ten men call you an ass, go out and buy as saddle".

Your hurt, your angry and your alone, but people are telling you "its up to you", because, it IS.
Not because they dont care, but because they KNOW, from cold hard brutal experience that 95% of lifes changing, lifes fixing, is done by the person living that life.

Have a think about that one.

and sedjat is quite right, as is cockneyrebel, if we didnt care, we wouldnt respond, Aspies remember.

It will get a little better when you reach the point at which you can get out on your own.

You're still going to have some people all your life who will call you names and refuse to believe that there's anything wrong with you that could possibly cause you a problem. They will expect you to be just like everyone else and punish you when you can't be.

Once you have your own space, at least there will be a refuge in which you can hide and recuperate from the stress of dealing with people like that. In the meantime, avoid as far as possible, interacting with people who treat you that way. I know that's hard to do when one of them is your Dad, but I spent most of my adolescent and teen years in my bedroom, with the door closed, reading, drawing, writing and listening to music, because if I came out and interacted with the rest of the family beyond mealtime and mowing the lawn, an argument would erupt over why I didn't think and behave the same way they did. It's just a fact of AS that indeed, you are speaking a different language and no amount of discussion is going to make some people understand. Just as your Mom cries because she feels responsible for your differences, your Dad may be determined to change you because he feels at fault. The sad and insulting thing about that is, if they just accepted that 'different' is not 'defective', they'd understand that there's nothing for anyone to feel guilty about. So the first step in educating them about your disability is to avoid treating it as one yourself, as far as possible (sometimes you just have to admit that it's a handicap and live with it), but you can't let it keep you from having or achieving goals.

Ignore my post about how I was going to act now I was just confused and frustrated, I only said it because I don't know if I can take my life and control my self I am such an insecure person the second I leave my set life style living, I'm scared once I leave it, so I lash out in that post because I don't think I have what it takes to do what you guys have done? As for educating my mother well I have tried that and still am, I try to use a calm voice not attack her and just say " I feel blank and black about blank could you possibly blank when blank happens", word for word I have used the above, and to be honest she still takes it as though I'm talking down to her and start to act well irational , yelling at me and saying that "I need to be treated special" as an insult to me, and I can forget trying on my dad, so the fact is they won't take a simple suggestion without yelling more.