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mcg
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19 Jun 2010, 10:42 pm

So someone recently pointed out to me that I was weird in this respect, so I was wondering if any other aspies enjoyed being bullied? I'm not sure if I just liked the attention, if having a me vs. them mentality gave some meaning to my life, or what, but I definitely preferred it to just being left alone.

In elementary school there were a few kids who would pick on me and it was honestly a welcome break from my usual solitary activities. At the time I was so much smarter than my peers (a gap that would narrow over time) that it was usually easy to avoid any physical abuse by having a quick means of escape or strategically positioning myself near an adult (though there were definitely a few miscalculations on my part, one of which resulted in a large permanent bump on my forehead) and I would often pretend to be falling for their schemes just so the situation would develop further. Like one time, a group of kids told me they were going to give me a cupcake after school and that I should meet them behind the bleachers in the gym. They were actually planning on pulling down my pants, information that somehow got back to one of my friends who alerted me to their plans beforehand. When one of them came to lead me to the spot where this was supposed to go down, I pretended to be excited to get the cupcake and went along with him. At one point I mentioned how I forgot to wear a belt that day thinking it would make it seem like everything was going according to his plan. Well he actually ended up telling me confessing and then skulked off looking guilty. I wasn't going to let this ruin my fun, though, and I proceeded to the gym where the rest of the group was waiting. One of them threw a jump-rope at me, presumably in an attempt to bind me so that my pants could be pulled down more easily. I grabbed the end of the jump-rope, ran around one of the other kids then pulled hard, knocking his feet out from under him. Then I escaped running under the bleachers which I was extremely good at navigating, since I played under there nearly every day. The whole experience was extremely fun and exhilarating.

In high school, most of the "popular" kids just pretended like I was invisible, and most of the bullies had few friends and were generally disliked. Messing with these bullies seemed to improve my social standing almost ten-fold. If someone started trying to pick on me, I would usually threaten to harm them in some outlandish and extremely brutal fashion. A couple of times I was challenged to fights which I gleefully accepted, only to have an excuse to delay the fight when I went to wherever the fight was supposed to go down. For example, one time I went to the spot where I was supposed to fight some kid, then said "Ok, I gotta stretch first, it's important to always do stretches before a fight." Then I sat on the ground doing stretches for ten minutes, and the bully eventually said "f**k this" and started walking away, at which point I called him a coward for walking away. Other times I just insulted the bullies and when they got ready to try and hurt me, I would just rely on my ability to outrun or out-climb them (always easy given my extremely light weight). Once I failed to accurately assess the rate at which a situation was progressing to violence and wound up getting punched in the face, but I ended up just telling the kid that I liked it and usually had to pay people to do that to me. After that people were coming up to me for a couple weeks telling me how much cooler I was than that other kid, a nice little ego boost.

There were a couple times I got the snot beat out of me, but you have to take the good with the bad.

So was anybody else like this as a child? Any interesting stories?



MrXxx
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19 Jun 2010, 11:10 pm

Huh. Is it really "bullying" if you actually enjoy it?

My head hurts.

I dunno man. There were times i got picked on, but knew it was just "funnin'" so I didn't consider it bullying. Is that the same thing? Doesn't sound like it.

All I know is that what I called bullying really sucked, and I didn't like it. That, to me, is what made it bullying. And no, I never liked that.

There was a period, before all the really bad bullying finally stopped, when I just decided to quit caring. Kids used to punch me in the arm really hard and it hurt like hell. Around the eighth grade, I started acting as if I'd been hit by a flying bug whenever they did it.

"What was that? A fly?"

They'd come back and do it again even harder. I just decided one day to ignore it, and even invite them to do it again, telling them they were weak. For a while, it became a challenge for them to hit me repeatedly until I either started crying or yelled at them to stop. I refused to do either. I would just stand there and stare blankly back at them asking, "Is that all you've got?"

Some quit bothering me because they said I was crazy. The rest just eventually quit it because they weren't getting anything out of it anymore. That was the last year anyone ever beat on me.


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Todesking
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19 Jun 2010, 11:14 pm

:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: 8O



katzefrau
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20 Jun 2010, 2:01 am

no.


:huh:


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DandelionFireworks
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20 Jun 2010, 3:11 am

I can definitely understand why you would feel that way, and it doesn't seem odd to me at all. You enjoyed it because you were more powerful and were in control of the situation. In most cases, that wouldn't be called bullying, because the others couldn't exercize power over you. Imagine how you would have felt if you couldn't defeat them.


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IdahoRose
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20 Jun 2010, 3:38 am

Sometimes getting negative attention is better than getting no attention at all. In junior high I was practically invisible and I almost wished I got picked on instead of being ignored all the time. The loneliness was awful.



CockneyRebel
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20 Jun 2010, 3:45 am

I hated getting bullied. I've almost committed suicide, because of it. I'm glad that I didn't, because I'd be 6 feet under, instead of posting here, and that would have been a horrible waste.


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ADHDorASDorBoth
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20 Jun 2010, 10:12 am

Quote:
For example, one time I went to the spot where I was supposed to fight some kid, then said "Ok, I gotta stretch first, it's important to always do stretches before a fight." Then I sat on the ground doing stretches for ten minutes, and the bully eventually said "f**k this" and started walking away, at which point I called him a coward for walking away. Other times I just insulted the bullies and when they got ready to try and hurt me, I would just rely on my ability to outrun or out-climb them (always easy given my extremely light weight). Once I failed to accurately assess the rate at which a situation was progressing to violence and wound up getting punched in the face, but I ended up just telling the kid that I liked it and usually had to pay people to do that to me. After that people were coming up to me for a couple weeks telling me how much cooler I was than that other kid, a nice little ego boost.


:lol: . You were/are obviously quite resilient mentally you were lucky that it never got worse than it did.

It's interesting that the bully walked away whilst you were stretching as if he could not bring himself to attack a non-aggressor. That might mean he was just a token bully and not much good at it really.
Or, did he just cave in thinking that you were so chilled about the fight?



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20 Jun 2010, 2:08 pm

I don't know if I ever enjoyed being bullied, I know I gave my bullies a hard time and teased them and picked on them and I couldn't understand why my mom was so against it. They were bad people and they didn't deserve respect. I am still like that.

I remember one time on the bus, I got on and all the seats were full so I didn't know where to sit and no one offered me a seat. So the bus driver was getting impatient with me telling me to go sit down and she wasn't even telling the kids to make a sport for me to sit so finally I said "Okay" and sat down in the aisle and the kids laughed and kids who thought I was stupid actually thought I was that dumb so they gave me a hard time about it after I got off the bus. When I did it the second time, no one laughed nor made a big deal out of it like before. The bus driver wasn't really bullying me, she was just pissing me off with her impatience and the fact sh wasn't helping me out so I gave her a hard time. But instead it backfired on me but I didn't really care because I thought all the kids were being stupid by believing I was that dense. But the bus driver finally did tell the kids to make me a spot and one of them did and I sat down.

I can relate to giving bullies a hard time, when they mess with you, you mess with them back to make them mad so they leave you alone. I've been there.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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20 Jun 2010, 2:25 pm

Getting harrassed and teased stressed me out to no end as a kid. I was the type of kid who came home and cried for three or four hours because of the stress of it all. Sometimes, what went on at school led to physical confrontations which were anathema to me. For some reason, I absolutely hated them!
I doubt there's many kids who actually like being picked on. It's a distraction, really, and should be discouraged. Hopefully, one day, it won't happen at all. Then we can all devote ourselves to our intellectual advancement. Right now, so much is wasted.



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20 Jun 2010, 2:31 pm

I actually got in fights with my bullies. they harass me and tease me and not leave me alone so I try and make them and we end up hitting and kicking and we both get punished. But it never stopped me from defending myself and then years later I was the only one getting in trouble, not the bully because my school had changed. So my mother always stood up for me and found it acceptable for me to fight. Then my school wanted to put me in a class with violent kids. :roll:

And I would be seen as the bad guy for defending myself because other kids would view me as bad or something, even the ones who didn't pick on me. I never understood that logic.



hale_bopp
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20 Jun 2010, 5:36 pm

No, i've never enjoyed being picked on. Being left alone is just as bad because i hated girls talking about me behind my back, i'd rather they did it to my face.

I Pretty much ignored my bullies by turning into a robot while it was happening. They never got any reaction or reflex out of me when they pushed or punched me or said mean things.

They can't have really liked that, i'm sure.



mechanicalgirl39
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20 Jun 2010, 6:40 pm

You probably liked it because you were in control of the situation, you knew how to deal with it.

I wasn't, and I genuinely got bullied. Only really stopped after a girl physically attacked me and I beat the living s**t out of her. In fairness I didn't mean to lash out that badly but I was panicking and my adrenaline was so high, I just zoned out like I was on some really powerful drug, and didn't realize I'd injured her.


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20 Jun 2010, 10:46 pm

I sort of did. I think. When I was 8 I thought my peers were my friends, even though they wouldn't talk to me unless I pretended to be a dog. Sooo.. I was a dumb*ss and therefore I enjoyed it at the time. It wasn't physical bullying, but I was constantly demeaned and ignored.. which I thought was okay because it seemed like I had friends.


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21 Jun 2010, 2:32 am

I got bullied and picked on a lot (and still today, I'm 24). It got a lot better in high school when some of the popular kids would use me for group assignments. Bullies thrive off of your reaction, but in my case I misread the attention as having a social life, and the kids that would mess with me I guess got bored of me.


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21 Jun 2010, 5:58 am

No I hated it and I always did my utmost to avoid it.

The only person I know of who liked being attacked was Brian Epstein, who would deliberately take big, tough, homophobic guys home with him so that they'd beat him up for coming on to them. What a basket case.