My Girlfriend is my only friend

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my girlfriend is my bestfriend i would not be able to cope with other people she has other friends iv asked her if i am her bestfriend and she says yes and that she means it i ask her that after every phone call i feel like im bad asking but i want to feel like i mean something i try my hardest to be a good friend i want to be special to her

I respect that. However, "trying your hardest" indicates desperation. As numerous threads on WP point out, desperation is a very bad thing for a guy to show. Since you're her boyfriend, you're special to her by definition. Don't ruin it by asking her to give you validation all the time.

Are you serious? If you keep relying on her to validate yourself, she'll catch on to this and get scared off. No girl wants to be the only source of a guy's self-worth. It puts a lot of pressure on her, and if she gets tired of it, she'll end the relationship. Find other ways to get your self-worth. Are you good at your job? Is there a talent you have? Anything else you can think of? If you can't do it for some reason, at least don't let your girlfriend know.

More importantly, find male friends through real-life interest groups or any other ways you know. It'll make it easier to give the girl space when she needs it. There's something about male friends (for guys) that no girlfriend can ever provide.

Best regards.

Im sorry I shouldnt post on here I made a mistake I didnt think enough before I did it it seems that the more I learn about relationships the more I worry

Don't apologise for posting on here - you had every need and reason to have your say and share your problem and i think you received a resourceful and helpful response.
Don't ask yoour girlfriend for validation - validate yourself. Have dignity . If you want to try hard then by strengthening your self and balancing it and making yourself happier. If you share your happiness with her and give her friendship (care, admiration, trust , love )etc. but not forcefully so, but in a asubtle way, then you both can stay happy with each other

This is good advice.

In your mind desperation is a bad thing. For some NTs I think they would disagree but hey no one knows any of them.

Tigerfire, despair is not good for anyone's r health, well-being,. self-esteem and neither it is good for the person that's object of the despair..

I know this is someone else's thread but, regarding this issue of despair not being good. I think I disagree. Being desperate can push us to do things that we never would do, which in turn can fulfill our deepest desires. Sometimes despair is the only motivation strong enough to make one go out and chase their dreams, to want something so bad that you are willing to do things that you usually wouldn't.

However I do think everyone is right on the money about not showing despair. I believe there is a difference about being desperate, and showing you are desperate. The former 'can' be good, the latter usually not.

Yes and no. I'd say that desperation makes you settle for whoever shows interest first, rather than strive to find someone you truly like. I actually have a personal story about this. It's even documented in a thread that I started a long time ago; it's called "Dating Someone You're not Attracted to".

Anyway, it the story happened a couple of years ago. There was this girl in my class. While she was a nice person, I didn't find her particularly attractive. One day, me and her were talking, and it seemed like she was interested in me. Shocked beyond all belief, I did my best to hide the shock, and asked her out on a date. A few days later, we went out. The date lead to a relationship that lasted a couple of months. Although I'm glad I've had a chance to experience a real relationship, along with its "physical components," I still felt like I settled for this relationship. At the time it took place, I never had a girlfriend before, so the chance of finally having one clouded my judgment of looking for someone I find attractive.

Yes, but it seems like you are placing the judgement of the experience on hindsight, not on the moment it occured. Everything is 20/20 when we look back at it. Surely if she had been the 'one', then you would have agreed that your desperation saved you. So, it seems that your opinion is based on the fact that it didn't work out, not on the fact that you did something you normally would not have done, which was the main point I was trying to make. Imagine if you never did ask her out, would that not have haunted you? Forever not knowing if she could have been the one? That seems a fate far more terrible than what happened.

Being desperate does not mean you have to settle, it just may mean that you will go out with more people than you usually would before you find the one, which is definitely not a bad thing. I think that settling with someone who isn't your soulmate is based more on fear that you might not find someone better, rather than being desperate.

I do wholeheartedly agree with you though, desperation can be good and bad, I was just trying to point out the good. But I have to politely disagree with the example you provided.

I know exactly how that feels. My boyfriend was the only person I could talk to properly about anything and I had other friends but I wasn't good to them, I pushed them away. You have to find people other then your girlfriend to talk to and be friends with. Trust me... my boyfriend just broke up with me and I'm sitting here lost and alone because I had no one but him. It's not a good situation - I'm not saying you're going to break up, I'm just saying that if it happens you need people other then her to be able to get on with your life. If you put too much pressure on her it will get too intense and she won't be able to cope and you might not be able to either.

This is good advice. I'd also add that you can get validation from your gf in other ways than by directly asking her. The mere fact that she is spending time with you, phoning you etc, is validation in itself. Maybe the next time you talk to her, if you think of it like that, you won't feel the need for validation by directly asking her.

I hope this relationship lasts, but if the relationship ends, you will need a friend to fall back on. I feel lucky to have such a person after my ex cheated.

You've already gotten a girlfriend, which is probably quite difficult to do (certainly not something I could accomplish in the near future). I think you could probably get more friends more easily than you might expect.

This is a very good point.

I agree pretty much with Aspie1's first post in this thread.
I think desperation is a bad thing,and it's bad to see it as a source of motivation.
As for Stickman's problem,I think if it has been many years that he has no friends(except of his girlfriend),the situation could seem to be hard to change,but still,there's hope.There's a friend for everybody.